The beatings will continue until morale improves. The problem is I'm the one beating myself up. Over something that hasn't happened yet. I haven't even weighed in tomorrow, and I'm already knocking myself about the head and shoulders (metaphorically or course, stay with me here) for it. Friday night I had too much beer, bourbon, wings, onion rings, chips and even a few fries. But when I worked out on Saturday things looked really good. But I was out of points and Sunday I went over, and then again yesterday I didn't work out (I made plenty of excuses), and once again grabbed that handful of pretzel thins (after going to the chinese buffet, where I tried to be reasonably good, but did it really matter?).
This morning, my home scale showed me up 4 lbs! I haven't done that bad since I went on vacation and didn't even attempt the diet or exercise for 10 days.
Part of me doesn't want to weigh in this week - I get so demoralized when I'm up. I did go and do an hour on the elliptical today, and will do an hour tomorrow before weigh in. So I'll try to pound in some water - drinking a lot of water always seems to make a big difference (and getting up to pee in the middle of the night usually means I'm down more in the morning as well).
But why do keep doing this to myself? I just am so caught up in that one number, and that should not define who I am or how well I'm doing. It needs to be about how my clothes are fitting (down 8 inches in my waist size, and those are a little loose as well; most of my shirts just kind of hang on me); how I look (apparently good, as I keep getting comments about how much I've lost (one guy at the gym today was saying how I looked thinner every time he sees me)) (no comments from the peanut gallery about my looks either - I reserve those to myself); how I feel (pretty good actually).
*sigh*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment