Monday, May 18, 2009

Reconnecting - like a debitaliting kick in the crotch

It is something you don't anticipate, don't expect, and are surprised both by the event and by the fact that you can still react to it.

With all the new ways to connect, make new friends and find old ones - you simply never expect to go out, do a search for old friends, and come up with something else entirely.

Looking back at high school, it really wasn't a great time for me. In fact an awful lot of it sucked pretty big time. Even back to junior high school. And it all had to do with two bullies. They delighted in picking on me in many and various ways. One of them was definitely the worse of the two as well - someone that while I have never had to see again since he graduated a year ahead of me.

Then today, just browsing facebook for people from my high school that I'd like to re-connect with (and not finding any), I found him.

Just seeing he was on there caused a pit in my stomach. Probably even worse than if I were to find my ex-wife (who has been incommunicado for three years now), because at some level I expect that.

A weird part of me wanted to contact him, but I quickly beat that small spark into submission. I really don't want anything to do with him, and just knowing he is 'really' there is bad enough. It bothers me a lot that it bothers me though.