Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Meme's the word

Ok, looks like I got tagged by beanie over at "All Frayed Edges and Shades of Red" to meme about "seven random things about me." The question is which is going to be harder, coming up with seven things, or keeping the randomness to just seven!

1) I still have my tonsils. Never got that many infections as a kid, never came out.

2) I still have my wisdom teeth. I always had good teeth as a kid - only had one cavity EVER before about 30. But for some reason my folks never took us to the dentist much. Did the whole orthodontist thing, but didn't do the regular dentist. I first found out they should come out when I was in my mid twenties - and simply didn't have the money. So I ignored it. Fifteen years later, I find that they are causing problems because they are so severely impacted (thing 90 degrees - they are pointing straight forward) and I find that it is no longer safe to take them out - in adults the roots are too close to the facial nerve, so that I'd have a better than 50% chance of facial paralysis (and not the botox kind that goes away either) if they tried to remove them. Instead eventually I'll have to lose the teeth next to them. For now it is just a constant struggle to keep them healthy until they eventually have to go.

3) I wrote poetry all through high school and most of college. By the end of college I had worked out any poetic muse I had. I've even had some published (if only in the college literary magazine). I've thought about posting some on-line - but so much of it is pretentious teenage crap it isn't worth it.

4) I have very small feet (f0r a man). Even my youngest (13) son now has bigger feet than I do. I wear a 7 or 7 1/2 - the smallest sizes they make in men's shoes.

5) I broke my face the summer after I graduated high school. Took a nose-dive from my bike into the street - had road rash all over the backs of my hands and arms as well as my face - 17 stitches and broke the nose. At least the doctor in the ER manages to snap it back into place when she was checking it, so I didn't get the pleasure of having them rebreak it to set it.

6) I met my wife through the internet. Way back in the day on AOL, I was in a chat room about Colorado (because I missed home), turns out she owned a small piece of land about 20 miles from where I grew up. And now we've been married for almost 5 years.

7) I graduated valedictorian of my high school. Graduating class of about 120 or so. Most of the class resented it, because I only took the top spot the very last semester - and a lot was due to the fact that the other guy had taken Algebra in 8th grade before transfering (it was not offered in 8th grade in our school). It was a weighted class, so I had one more weighted class than he did. During graduation, the gym was packed to overflowing, and when I saw the crowd I was so nervous that even with a microphone no one could hear my speech.

I guess I need to read more blogs though - as all the ones I read have been tagged already!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Very politically incorrect

Karma as the short bus. I love it! (check the comments on the last post).

This just made me need to share something, that is so far past being politically incorrect, even I was close to being offended, when I quit laughing. The worst part, of course, is it is my own child who has such a warped sense of humor to come up with this.

One day at dinner we were talking about something, and the subject of the handicapped came up. And my son, a chip off the old block, suddenly refers to them as "fireshields". Of course we all turn to him for an explanation.

He says, in his 15 year old innocent way, that he figures they must be fireproof, and his reasoning is that the day before there was a fire drill at school. Everyone of course had to evacuate, and all stand so far away. Then here come the classroom aids with all the handicapped students, whom they all lined up in front of all the other students. Between them and, had it been real instead of a drill, the fire!. So of course, he reasons, since they are the least capable of getting out of the way, why they must be especially resistant compared to the other students, and thus the name of fireshields.

I really tried not to laugh. It was just so wrong, yet so well illustrated a very valid point better than any other explanation ever could. For the convience of everyone else, put the people least able to get out of the way in the most convienient spot - which just happens to be right in the way and nearly the worst possible spot they could be in. Shouldn't these people be as far away as possible, even it if is a little inconvienient? I can just imagine a second fire truck trying to get through, and a whole line of wheelchairs being there because it was easier.

It was so wrong on so many levels. And so of course, like his father, my son had to make a joke of it. I'm both proud and ashamed.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Karma may bite us in the @#$

I got the title in an email this morning, and just found it very amusing. Of course, I had to be a smart @$$ myself and reply:

"We all know how nasty those Karma bites can be, especially if left untreated. Not quite as bad as the bugs in Cloverfield, but still so hard to clean up."

I just still find the concept amusing - wondering just how big of teeth Karma has. Is it like one big Karma that tears you in half and eats you, or little Karma chiggers that are like mosquitoes on you soul? Or, again like Cloverfield, is it both?

What is the best treatment for Karma bites anyway? And since Karma actually works both ways, what is the 'good' equivalent of Karma bites - Karma hugs?

Which, in my twisted mind, connects to another email I got, with the reference to "if someone would come down with a bottle of pookie and lube it up". I'd never heard that expression - pookie for a lubricant. That also quickly went way down hill, as we started to wonder about nookie pookie. Someone said that was spooge, but I had to correct them, spooge is what you get after you use the nookie pookie. Or motion lotion.

The big question though, is if nookie pookie helps with Karma bites?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Even more of an idiot than usual

but in a good way! :-)

I usually try to avoid talking about work outside of work (and even at work, when I can help it) because it's not much fun watching people's eyes glaze over, and the drool start dripping from their lips as they enter a catatonic state from shere boredom. It is just messy to have to wipe up, really. But once in a while I have to remind myself why I don't.

I try very hard to be a fairly nice guy, and especially at work I generally don't insult people, and especially individually. Being a computer programmer, I have seen lots of really stupid things in programs, and a lot of them (though not all, at least) have been ones I've done. Like today. It was rather funny though, when I looked at this and saw what I'd done (or rather, in this case, what I didn't do) I simply asked what idiot wrote that? I have three people pop their heads up, including my boss (who actually has to stand on his desk to see over the wall between us (it is a 7' back partition between our cubes). And I found it even more humorous, because he was surprised that I'd not done it, as was everyone else. Even I was surprised, thinking I had. But I didn't, and putting it in now would be a whole lot more work (for relatively little payoff) so it won't ever get done.

(And for those whose eyes are still focussed, but are kind of wondering, so what was it really, I didn't parameterize the timeouts for the response queues from synchrous transports, hardcoding them instead. (What was worse is that I pretty much parameterize everything - which is why this is so surprising) Damn - now you have to wipe the drool off your chin and will have a big red spot on your forhead from where it slammed down on the desk - but the imprint of the keyboard on your cheek is kind of cute, really!)

So I go to work out at lunch, feeling like a dumb shit, but in a good way (you know, laughing at myself. I long ago learned that you have to be able to laugh at yourself, because everyone else is already laughing at you, and this way you can act like you are laughing with them!). I get to the Body Shop, and all the ellipticals are full. Fine - I'll do the stairmaster. I know I can't watch my iPod on it (no place to put it, and I move way too much to even read while on it). But I just said last month, and it is on the stupid bulletin board, that I'm in the best shape of my life.

Yeah right. Kicked my ass. I think I only managed about 35 minutes on it, and felt like I was going to fall down the stairs when I went down to take a shower. The layout of the body shop kind so adds insult to injury - all the weights, weight machines and cardio machines are upstairs (the locker rooms, offices and aerobics room are downstairs). So you bust you butt, your legs are nothing but limp wet noodles, but you still have to walk downstairs to get your clothes and a shower - thanks a lot!

So maybe this is something I need to re-motivate me. I'm still not down to my weight goal after Christmas (I was 174.4 at home this morning) - but if I get it in my head to be able to do an hour on the stairmaster - that would not be a bad thing. And just raise my level of idiocy yet one more notch.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

motivation, or lack thereof

I was going to talk about sloth, but I'm just too tired.

I don't know why, but I seem to have a real hard time lately wanting to do much of anything. It seems I just want to curl up, sit by the fireplace, read a book and eat. Of course it doesn't help that I don't have a frickin' fireplace either. And it doesn't stop me from seemingly shoving everything in sight into this gaping hole in the front of my face.

Here I go to all this work, lose all this weight, get all these compliments, and then go and put nearly 10 lbs back on since the week before Christmas. I told myself I was going to get back on the wagon and get it gone after the first - and woohoo - in that week I'm maybe 1/2 a lb down, if not actually up some.

I'm finding it very hard to stay on track if I'm not writing down every single point. It is just too easy to pop in a few pretzels, and then a handful, then a bowl, then 2. I was good in that I took the skin off the chicken when I made dinner last night, but then to make up for it I probably ate too much anyway.

And tonight we have our booster party - and though that will be dinner (and I worked out) I'll probably blow it again (hey - way to set myself up for failure before I even go - what a plan!).

It doesn't help that I seem to be hungrier now as well.

But I think a big part of it is that since I don't seem to want to do anything, I munch. When I'm busy I don't snack. But watching tv - bad. And reading, though not always so much.


Friday, January 04, 2008

Way too serious

What is it with so many people today - has 90% of the world lost it's sense of humor or what? Why is everything so serious and life-altering?

The news the other day mentioned a new videogame - I think it is called NY Defender or something. It is a variation on a very old game (I think it was called missile defender), where you are stopping a stream of incoming missles from blowing up your cities. This one has a bunch of incoming planes that you have to shoot down before they crash into the twin towers.

Is it tasteful? Probably not. I hear it is actually made in France. And if any culture is experienced in not being sensitive to anyones feelings, it is the French.

Is it the end of the world? Of cours not. It is a frickin' game people. And not a good one at that - based off of a 30 (or more) year old video game.

Should it be banned? Get real! Everything in this world does not need to be made for 8 year olds. There is room for nearly every opinion out there, including those in bad tastes. I am so sick of other people trying to tell me what to see, what to read, what to listen to, and ultimately what to think.

"The Golden Compass" (not a bad movie, but not a great one) came out, and all these religious NUTS freaked out. I call them NUTS because anyone who thinks a movie can undermine their belief's needs some serious help. And these are the same ones who so praised "The Chronicles of Narnia" - which wasn't as good as TGC either, but promoted their beliefs instead of opposing them.

GET OVER YOURSELF PEOPLE! Get a real life! Quit protesting movies or stupid games. If you want to make a difference - go out and actually help another human being. Put down your stupid anti-abortion protest sign and volunteer at an orphanage to help with all the unwanted crack babies. Quit telling me about your 'Christian' values, and go out and actually live them for once.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Member of the Month

At my work, they have a workout facility called "The Body Shop" (everything here is car themed), and for January they picked yours truly. I'll be signing autographs later.

Anyway, here is the right up:

Total Benefits - Member of the Month

Congratulations to Michael Carter!
He is The Body Shop’s Member of the Month for January!

Mike has been working at Reynolds and Reynolds for 16 ½ years. He currently works as a senior Developer in the EAI group. He and his wife Diane have five children. His step daughter Becky is 23, his son Jon is 19, his daughter Katlyn is 17, his son Erik is 15, and his youngest son Matthew is 13. In his free time Mike enjoys watching movies and reading. He also enjoys playing strategy and miniature games (D&D, “old fashioned” type board games, and toy soldiers) with his children. He is also very heavily involved with his son’s band as the treasurer for the West Carrollton Band Boosters.

Before joining The Body Shop Mike did not exercise regularly, he owned some home exercise equipment but it eventually broke or was never used. He joined The Body Shop when it opened because he thought it was a great deal. It was convenient and a great value, even when before it was free (and even better now!). At one point several members of his team were Body Shop members and they all worked out together, but now the others have either left the company or stopped coming to the gym. Mike appreciates The Body Shop because it makes it easy for him to get in a work out during lunch time.

Mike’s current exercise routine mainly involves using the elliptical most days of the week for about an hour each day. To keep himself motivated to exercise he downloads TV shows that he has missed onto his iPod and he will only watch them while he is exercising. This way, when he gets really caught up in a show (like Prison Break or 24) he has strong motivation to go exercise and see what is going to happen next. He also appreciates the fact that exercise burns a lot of calories which in turn allows him to eat more food while on his Weight Watchers diet, which makes him feel like he is not on a diet at all. He says, “I often joke that I only exercise because I’m a pig.”

Since joining The Body Shop and beginning his regular exercise routine Mike says that he has a lot more energy and that at 43 he is in the best shape of his life. With the help of Weight Watchers his weight loss total recently reached 83 pounds, causing him to reach his goal weight and achieve lifetime status just before Thanksgiving. He says this is his greatest exercise accomplishment because along with losing the weight he has dropped 10 inches off of his waist, coming down from a size 44 (with a “comfort fit” elastic waist band) to a 34. He also believes that exercising has helped him to avoid some of the common health issues that are associated with middle age.

Mike still struggles with self image at times because after taking years to realize that he was overweight he still sees himself that way. He feels uncomfortable buying shirts in a size medium even though that is what fits him now. To those who are not members of The Body Shop Mike says that having such a great facility on site is a huge benefit that everyone should take advantage of! To the beginning exerciser he says that the old Nike slogan, “Just do it!” is a good way to approach exercise. It isn’t always fun and at times it can be very easy to make excuses not to do it but you have to make it a priority and just do it.

Thank you Michael! Keep up the good work!

Member of the Month is based on consistency (at least 2-3 days a week), positive attitude, results that have occurred by exercising, offering feedback, and encouraging co-workers to participate in The Body Shop.

And here is a (poor) picture of what the bulleting board looks like (the camera on my phone really sucks - but it is a frickin' phone!)