Down a pound, down a point

Ah yes, yet another disincentive to losing weight. Actually I have been expecting this for several weeks - apparently the point calculator rounds, so I kept the point for two extra weeks, but not that I'm down to 188.6 it is definitely gone.

"You are doing great - so eat less and work out harder just to keep going!"

Oh, and your clothes are all loose and baggy and you look crappy in them, so you get to go spend more money buying new ones.

Even my shoes are loose. I decided to grow a brain yesterday, and figured why not wear sandals for weigh in to make it easier to take them off. So I put my old ones in my gym bag, didn't think about it. Put them on after my workout and they almost fell off. I had to tighten all the straps because my feet were skinnier :-)!

I must be looking better though, because the woman at registration was asking about my goal, and suggesting that their goal ranges were a bit low for men, and I could get a doctor's note to set a goal above their range.

So I guess I'm really doing well (64.2 lbs down, 15.8 to go!). However I don't think I want to change my goal - I like the idea of not being overweight, even based on the unrealistic BMI insurance tables (i.e. getting a BMI under 25). Right now it is 26.2. To get to the 'normal weight range' I need to be under 179, and 172 is actually at 24. This being down from 35.2 when I started. Not only that, but I like the 'round number' of 80 lbs lost, though 75 would be a good number as well.

Part of me is simply stubborn - I set a goal, which when I set it was the maximum allowed by the program, and I don't want to change it to make it easier. I still have a bit of a gut, and feel a bit flabby in my thighs. I don't know if I'll ever have six-pack abs (instead of the current 12 pack I'm carrying around), but I want to get it as flat as I can, even when I'm sitting.

Right now it is just keep working at it. I'm concerned about my upcoming vacation and what it will do to my weight loss as well. I so remember the Hog Jowls Dad has a Lambert's - and anything there is going to really be hard to fit in (what with all the pass-arounds etc.) And I know the reunion will be a fish fry and barbecue. And it will be really hard to get good workouts in.

I'm less worried about the other times I'm taking vacation - the game conventions and seminars. I can work out on the seminar (I did it before), and at the conventions (if I'm not too lazy) - but also at Origins I can do a lot of Subway, and probably something similar at GenCon.

Keeping that nasty ego under control

Oh, those overpowering delusions of adequacy! Oh that fleeting illusion of competence.

This past weekend Jon and I attended the 1st annual Buckey Battles Independant GT, and I got my butt kicked, but good. I was in dead last until the last game, which I managed then to massacre my opponent (due to some very unlucky die rolls for him), which kept me from being in dead last.

I tied for third for the painting / appearance, which is cool, though I have a hard time believeing I deserve that high of a ranking.

It is amazing how many people still remember my goblin army after it being in mothballs for over two years - I guess I do need to bring it back out - maybe by GenCon when I have a bit more time to rebase it and add a few new units (yes, maybe even Orcs as UPS Boyz), spider riders as web mail, and at least squig hoppers if not a squig herd as well. I just don't know what would make a good list, as so many things I used before are now gone. Probably even have to make a Orc Postmastr Genr'l just for the leadership.

So the UGPS may become the OGPS Orc & Gobbo Postal Service.

Waaauuuugggghhhhh!

tic, tic, tic

Down a tic (.2 lbs) - as fine as their scale goes. At least it wasn't up.

Had a busy day, though not like I would have wanted. Having a real hard time lately getting movitated about work and I need to break myself out of this.

A Complimentary Insult

Or an insulting compliment.

My group at works tends to take a daily break around 2:30 or 3:00 for a quick walk down to the convience store located in building 2 (I'm in building 1). Some people buy a snack, and we often stop by the credit union when people need to, but a lot of us (me included) just do this as a break and a walk.

Yesterday, one of the women looked at me and said that I needed to break down and buy new pants - I looked like I was wearing my older brother's hand-me-downs. Not because of patches or anything - they were simply too big for me.

I guess it is time to get some 36" pants, though the other pair I wear aren't quite as loose (it would be nice if the same size on the label was actually the same size in the clothes). But even these are a bit loose, though not as bad as my others. I just hate spending money on clothes though - especially by outgrowing (or undergrowing or whatever, you know what I mean) them. I have three pair of dockers, 2 pair of jeans and 2 pair of shorts - all are at best loose - the jeans and one pair of dockers are really loose, as are the shorts. And one pair of the shorts I think I've only worn once. CRAP!!! I guess I just bought them too early, anticipating good weather that we didn't get in April.

As of last week I have 17 lbs to goal. I don't know if that will put me in even smaller pants or not. I thought 38 was a reasonable goal, but I still have a bit of a gut that I really want gone, and still feel flabby in my thighs, butt, gut and arms.

Then Diane says last night that she thinks I'm losing too much weight. That I need to slow down or stop. Or exercise less. Talk about support - nice to have that behind me dragging me back from my goal. I'm not planning on it though - I set this goal and I'm going to keep working until I get there and stay there. I want to get to the point where I'm not overweight on anybody's tables, period.

Of course I get up this morning and am .2 up from last week - so it may be a bad weigh in today as well. It does seem that what I weigh myself at home in the morning is very close to what I do at WW that evening (the difference is at home I'm not wearing anything).

This is also frustrating, because I thought I had a really good week. I'm actually under points (had 10 flex left) for the week - even after really pigging out on ribs on Sunday. And I dread this weekend as well because of the tournament - Friday night through Sunday away from home screwing up my diet - though I will try to exercise at the hotel on Sat & Sun morning before Jon and I head out.

Where did he go?

I feel a little like that old Looney Toon - the one where the sheep dog is looking for Bugs (I think) and keeps looking around saying "Where did he go? Where did he go?"

Me, I haven't gone anywhere - I'm just lazy. Or have very little to say - but then that usually hasn't stopped me before, so I'm not sure why it is now. I have noticed that I seem to experience these little slumps in my life, where I'm just not that talkative. Then I get bursts where I actually try and write something. Like that life story stuff - yes I do need to get back to that and keep it going.

So since I have nothing worth saying, I'll instead put in a humorous email I just received from my wife for all to enjoy. It does make me think that I need to find a collection of Winston Churchill's quotes. Enjoy.

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

"He has
all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little
person, with much to be modest about."
--
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read
many obituaries with great pleasure."
--
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that
might send a reader to the dictionary."
--
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does
he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William
Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll
waste no time reading it."
-- Moses
Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
of any man I know."
-- Abraham
Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this
wasn't it."
-- Groucho
Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it."
-- Mark
Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
friends."
-- Oscar
Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new
play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second... if there is one."
-- Winston
Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's
almost like having you here."
-- Stephen
Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his
creator."
-- John
Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S.
Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness
in others."
-- Samuel
Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run
up."
-- Paul Keating

"He
had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter
Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't
cure."
-- Jack E.
Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning
bolt."
-- Robert
Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from
the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas
Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his
Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard
Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count
Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to
him."
-- Bette
Midler

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without
any address on it?"
-- Mark
Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork."
-- Mae
West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever
they go."
-- Oscar
Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van
Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy
Wilder

Actually still here

and still alive, though not very talkative (or would that be writative? Is that even a word?) lately. I've been extremely busy both at work and off, and very little end (at least outside of work) is in site. It is almost summer, and this summer is stacking up to be incredibly active.

Weigh in last night was down 1.2 - so got back all I went up, though just barely. The surprising thing, for me at least, was I didn't lose a point yet - but I expect that is probably because it rounds to the nearest pound for the calculation - so with a good week I definitely will lose one next time.

This now puts me 17 lbs from goal - having lost 63. My pants are starting to feel a bit loose again - so I'm on target as I expect to have to buy one smaller size before I'm done (I'm figuring a 36" waist). This would make a total of 8" I will have dropped from my waist when all is told. I have no idea how many other inches I would also be down, as I don't have any kind of measurements anywhere but how my pants fit. But it doesn't sound good for me to say that I've lost 8" out of my pants, does it?

So what has my schedule been? Monday evenings is my keys family call. Tuesday was the levy vote, and I'm glad that is overwith. Plus a middle school concert. Wednesday is Weight Watchers every week, and a high school orchestra concert. Thursday my youngest had the iniatiation for National Junior Honor Society. Friday is now my game night with the boys. Saturday was the Confrontation tournament (took 5th - very middle of the road). Sunday was Mother's day. Monday was a booster meeting, which took 3 fricking hours! Yesterday was weigh in and dinner with Diane. Tonight Matt gets his ERA award, Friday is game night, Saturday I'm giving blood, Sunday I have a cub committee meeting, Monday is Erik's ERA awards, Tuesday is the band awards (and I have to have account status information in Monday night for that), Wednesday is WW, and then on Friday Jon and I head up for the GT in Columbus for the weekend.

I still have a huge amount of work to do to get ready for the events I'm running for Origins and GenCon - I really need to spend a day building game boards for that.

And actually try to work once in a while. Plus summer vacation, our trip to the family reunion and minnesota is coming waay too fast.

I need to find time to just breate a little bit.

I hate it when I'm right

Up a pound. Like I expected. And then we went to the chinese buffet for dinner, and at home I sucumbed to temptation and ate the last of the cookies from the middle school band concert as well.

Time to get back on it.

In other news, the school levy passed - so that is a big relief. There is still a lot of talk going on about it, and what should / should not also be done. Same person causing me stress before. I've also talked to other people about him, and he seems to cause stress for them in other areas as well. Just great!

Me, I look at things like this and think that if you don't like the system, then you need to change it. If you don't like the school board policy - you need to change the school board - and the only way to do that is to change the people on the board - meaning someone else has to run.

My brother-in-law did that in New Jersey. He got so upset about how the school board was running that he got himself elected to it to change things. There is a part of me saying that perhaps I should actually step up as well. No no piggie, that's not fear, that's excitement. God what would I be doing to myself there?

I have suggested that this person run for the board, since he is so adamant about his ideas and what needs to be done - and I really doubt he would be willing to step up and put his money where his mouth is. In addition, I'm not so sure I'd vote for him either.

But I best banish these thoughts before they grow any more and I start actually looking at it.

short lived victory

Or so it seems to be shaping up. 4 lbs on Wednesday. However I've noticed that I've been nowhere near that since I weighed in, neither in the mornings or evening. By quite a bit - meaning several pounds. I'm wondering if the reason it seemed so high was a simple fluke of some sort - but now, like all of those little items that just seem to be too much good luck, it comes crashing down - and paying it back is always much worse than any benefit you originally thought you gained.

Like when you are mistakenely refunded a bill - that is great. Until they correct the mistake - and take the money back - and it is always much harder when they take it back than any benefit you got when they gave it in the first place.

I really expect a bad week this week - I have a hard time picturing how I'll lose over two more pounds by Wednesday as compared to this morning. I can't think of any place I've skipped or fudged points either. It seemed to be too good to be true - and was. But dealing with going up is so much worse than not having gone down as much - it will really suck.

What I do wish is that it would even out at some point - it seems that no matter what I do every week is a surprise, good or bad. I can't seem to find a steady grove and just stay there, where it is a constant (or at least near it) loss - it always seems to be out of my control and jumping around a bunch.

Of course what is worse is last week should have been bad - what with KFC on Saturday, Ribs on Sunday and steak on Monday - and then actually going over my points because I miscalculated Monday's lunch (I didn't realize the nutritional info they posted was for 1/2 a wrap at first).

Lots of victim talk and feelings today. bleah!!!

Down 4

to 190 - for a total of 62.8. Hard for me to believe I'm now less than 20 lbs from my goal - though I'm also wondering if that is what I truly want or if it should be lower. I want to get rid of this gut - when I look in a mirror that is still mostly what I see. 17.2 to go. I also got my 'new' 16 week award - of course I actually earned it before but they didn't back date them.

Diane has stopped WW and gone with LA Weight Loss - so it will be interesting to see if she sticks with this one now or no.

And then there were 12, or 13, or whatever

But I'm not one of them. With that it is over and done with. Two and a half hours waiting around again, to not have my name called and I'm done. So where I thought I was stuck in the jury box to listen to a three week case on bingo fraud, I'm instead back at work, back to whatever passes for normality. Anything you still can't deal with is your own problem.

Like a game show

That is what it feels like. I can't say much, but I won (if it can be put that way) the Jury Duty lottery. And to top it off, it is a three week trial. And so far, I seem to be a big winner - got in the box yesterday so I have to go back this afternoon to see if I get the big prize of spending the next three weeks listening to lawyers (isn't there a specific circle of hell where that is the punishment?). I don't mind doing my civic duty, so we'll see.

Of course it is screwing up my workout schedule, as well as going to get Jon from college. Just as I get started lifting weights again (3 times last week) and now I may not be able to do it for the next three weeks. I might try to get to the rec center, but it is always a bit more difficult to do when it is unfamiliar (different machines, don't have my notes (i.e. how much on what) etc.) Yes, it is all excuses, and if I really wanted to get a workout (cardio or weights) in I could.

Tonight we have the budget meeting for the band for next year - oh joy. And it seems to be short as well, which is never a good thing ( though I expect we will get some past due accounts paid up just before band camp, if the levy passes and there is a band camp).