Drinking the Koolaid

Or at least looking like it.

I don't generally like to talk about work here, mainly because I doubt anyone would find the day to day workings of a computer programmer very interesting, especially since I do that boring type of programming (i.e. no graphics or games or anything flashy - I do electronic interfaces between different systems, mainly car dealership systems (which we sell) and car manufacturers - Chrysler is one of my big ever ongoing projects). Very useful for the business, but nothing flashy or exciting to see. It is one of those that no one notices until it stops working.

Anyway, yesterday was the annual Service Recognition luncheon at work. They do this every year, recognizing those who had a 5 year milestone in the previous calendar year. I hit 15 years in 1996. Luckily I looked at the invite on Tuesday, and noticed that it was Business Professional dress code - crap. So I had to dig out the freaking suit. I hate suits. More so, I hate ties. The idea of still tying a napkin around your neck because soldiers way back when couldn't keep from spilling their food down the front of their shirts is simply absurd. And my boys have managed to steal all my best ties as well - for the occasional dance or concert.

Since the buyout of my company (btw, you can check out where I work here) last year, there have been lots of changes, and it is obvious to anyone that there are still more yet to come. One of the more noticable ones is that manages and above (which I'm not) are supposed to wear ties. Grunts like me are still allowed business casual. So yesterday I looked like the new corporate drone.

And if that wasn't bad enough, of course yesterday the cold front hit - Tuesday it was 80 - yesterday it was snowing (no, it didn't stick, but there we flakes in the air). And what did I have for a fricking coat? Yep - a suit coat, because I don't have an overcoat that can go over one. So not only did I have to dress up, but I froze my butt off as well.

At least in the good news department - it looks like I froze 3 more pounds off my butt when I weighed in last night. What is really getting amazing to me is that I 0nly have 24.4 to go to goal. I am getting more and more comments about it.

I'm not one to take pictures. I realy don't like the way I look in them. Fat (though much less so I keep being told), bald, grey and ugly. I have one picture of myself I kind of like in the past ten years or so, it is on Diane took of me years ago at her house - I'm actually reading the psychologists report saying that she recommended I get custody of my four children. It is pretty much a profile, though slightly off, with me looking down. But I digress (and aren't you surprised!)

Anyway, I am wishing now that I had a 'before' picture from last August when we started Weight Watchers. It would have been best without a shirt so you could really see the difference. At least that is what I'm thinking. But I don't have one. And I'm having a hard time really seeing the changes. I know the numbers, I feel the difference in a lot of areas. But I can't see it myself. When I look in the mirror, I still see the gut. Sitting here there is still the big roll of fat around my middle - at least half of what I have to lose is in my gut.

I've said the same things about watching the kids grow up - with the gradual changes, you just don't see it until you can compare it to old pictures - it is when you don't see them for a while that you notice the changes much much more.