Monday, November 13, 2006

And how does that feel?

One of the pieces of weight watchers is the meetings. They provide information and support, as well as help you track your weight. And it is this information and support that make the program worthwhile for the weeks and months after you get the startup packs, because, face it - once you know how to do it, you could just do the rest on your own. Calculate your points, do the diet and exercise. But if you could do it on your own you already would have.

So I'm not begrudging them the $12 a week for membership. And pre-paying keeps me going, and I've still got 50 lbs to lose.

And they give you incentives. A blue ribbon for the first 10 lbs. A keychain when you hit your 10% goal (and it is fairly nice too.) A gold star for every 10 lbs after the first. Something (I don't know what) at goal and lifetime.

The ribbon and gold stars make me feel a little bit like kindergarten. "If I'm a good little boy then I get a gold star for the day!" Yes, I have my ribbon and gold star on my bulletin board at work, for all the world to see.

What gets me, and the point of today's rant (see, sometimes there actually is a point, though not often) is that when you get one of these awards - they always ask, "And how does that feel."

I want to say "Still FAT", but that won't work. I don't know what to say. "Not as disgusted as before?" I never know what to say. I snore a little less I guess, but I'm not sure since I'm asleep at the time. It frustrates me, because I still get winded climbing the stairs. No matter how much I work out. I hope that goes away soon.

One thing I did notice today - my "man boobs" are shrinking - so much so now that don't sweat any more - which is a good thing. Now it wasn't that they were moist or anything - just that they were big enough so that the flap of flat lay on my chest - and it was between that fold of skin that would get sweaty and be uncomfortable. So my man-boobs have shrunk and they don't sweat anymore.

Next I need to get to the point where my thighs don't rub together all the time, wearing out my pants prematurely. Which is why crickets don't wear britches - rubbing your thighs together wears them out. And unlike crickets, it doesn't attract the ladies, especially because it causes my workout short to ride up - which is oh so attractive to see my fat butt with my shorts riding up the crack after I work out. And it isn't 'polite' to pull them out of it - so you just have to try and spread your legs and wiggle a bit, hoping that you can create enough of a gap that the sweaty material will go back where it belongs - all while standing at the water cooler trying not too look like an idiot.

A fat, sweaty idiot with his shorts riding up. But at least his man-boobs aren't sweating anymore.

(and on a side note, I guess the new Bob & Tom album is named "Man Boobs" - I heard part of the title song when I started up the van this morning, but only enough to identify that was the song, not enough to actually remember anything about it.)

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