Thanksgiving is over . . .

and now it is time for Christmas. And there was much rejoicing. yeah.

I just am not in the holiday mood. I don't know if it is just the holidays, since that seems to be a pretty depressing time of year for alot of folks, or that it seems that so often unhappy things happen then, or I just notice it more.

Thinking back, I haven't enjoyed Christmas for the past 10 years, and this one doesn't look good. And even before that there were a few bad ones. Going to Floriday when Jon was almost two, and having to explain to him why Santa Claus hadn't come yet when he woke up (because his grandfather (his mother's father) wanted to do it, even though we weren't staying with him (we were in a hotel), and when we got there that morning, they still were asleep). And then having peanut butter sandwiches for Christmas dinner (their big dinner was the night before, which was a Columbian chicken/rice dish - whoop dee doo).

Then the one in 1997, before I was kicked out of the house. The one where the wife took the two younger boys down to Florida with her. That was rough. Then the next year, when she had them in New Mexico, and I got to see them for a few hours a few days before Christmas (in nine months that was all I saw them, until I got custody). We took a bus to MN for Christmas that year, which broke down outside of St. Paul, then we got snowed in and stuck in Chicago on the way back. Memorable, but not fun.

Several Christmases where all the kids were at their mothers, and I was up in MN with Diane (before we were married). Those were also hard, not being with any of my family. I can really understand why Diane gets a bit blue on the day now that she is in Ohio for it.

Then the year we sent Katie to the school, and the boys saw their mom for the last time (we currently have had no contact with her for two years, and don't know where she is or have any way to find her). That was really rough.

And now being unemployed for five weeks, and nothing yet in site. I haven't been real thankful this year. I got a notice from the unemployment office that they had matched me with a job - that scares me a bit because I don't know what it is at all - but if I refuse it then I could lose what benefits I get. I'm really concerned that it is like an entry level something - way less than what I need to make to pay the bills.

That is kind of funny, as I don't have the money to pay the bills now. Medical bills for Diane's back surgery are just sitting there for the time being. One of the student loans for Katie's school is in forebearance. And I just keep watching the last of the savings dwindle away.

One thing I did not anticipate is having to switch banks. I had been with the Credit Union for almost as long as I'd been an employee - something like 17 years. But it isn't convienient anymore, and even the thought of going there is a bit painful, since it is at Reynolds. I'd really rather not go back there at all if I don't have to. So that is a bit of a pain.

Diane is helping out tremendously. She has had several closings - all going into the new account so that when the old one runs dry I can then switch - and she should get the second Oak Point one this month, so I hope we are good until next year - though the prospect of Christmas is just filling me with dread.

One thing I have always enjoyed was giving presents - and I know I overspend every year. But this year that isn't an option. I dread spending anything, because I know there is nothing coming in to replace it. Four years ago when it was just Diane and I here for Christmas it was a lot like that - the boys present was the trip to their mothers - and we said we weren't getting each other anything because money was so tight then. It was so depressing seeing a christmas tree with no presents under it. And that is what I fear again.

Diane found some good bargains Friday, and got a few things. I'll have to actually go and get a few myself, and try not to feel guilty about spending the money.

I don't even like leaving the house any more - I feel like I'm wasting money just on gas going anywhere that isn't trying to get a job.

Everyone that I have talked to that used to be at Reynolds says it is so much better not being there. My old boss was canned in August, and got a job at the beginning of November after 9 weeks. He seemed to be doing much better than I feel during that time however - even saying he almost regretted ending his 'retirement' to have to go back to work. For me however I am even more stressed than I was at Reynolds (and I thought that would be difficult to do). I keep telling myself it will be better, and I do believe that is true - but only once I get another job that I like. Until then it is hard, and not getting easier. And hearing that this is the worst time of year to be looking, along with the crappy economy, doesn't make me feel any better.

Do you believe pt 2

It was a good show. Yes, she sure seemed to come up with a lot of stuff that you wouldn't know about these people, at least from the way they were acting.

However, I did notice that twice she told different people to look for pennies and that the year would be significant - almost repeating herself word for word. That was a flag for me at the end.

We managed to get in line early for an autograph, which was good with Dianekas back and all. When she signed her book, she wrote "Healing Hugs" - and I can't help but wonder if that was just for Diane (which is extremely appropriate) or if she writes that for a lot of people. It is easy, after all, to add your own meaning in to these things.

So, do I believe? Seeing her did not change anything for me - so I'll leave it at that.

Do you believe?

I got Diane tickets to see Lisa Williams tonight. It wasn't for anything special, but with everything going on she made me promise that they were her Christmas present.

So it is intermission, and if nothing else Lisa is pretty entertaining. Diane and Katie both asked me if I believe now.

Oops - she is back on - finish later.

From the crackberry

Trying to keep up with the modern world, I have finally gotten a Blackberry. I actually really like it - I keep finding new and better ways to use it - and one of these is the ability to update this from it. Pretty cool if you ask me - and being able to now update this from almost anywhere should mean that I'll do it more often (I actually do have ideas to write about - just never when I'm sitting at the computer. Or at least you can hope :-)

Not much to say

Yep, pretty boring. Still working at trying to get a job, and even that is slowing down lately. This time of year, and with the economy in the dumper, there just isn't a lot out there. I spend most every morning responding to leads, get a few interviews (with recruiters usually) for the week, and just keep going. The unemployment has started to kick in, so that eases the tension by a tiny bit, though there doesn't look like much to be thankful for next week, and Christmas isn't looking very merry.

I did have one funny thought today. I was filling in an on-line application for a real employer (who wants and interview, so I'm waiting to see when), and they wanted a list of all employers for the past 20 years! Wow! I know them, but I haven't kept the addresses or managers or any of that. I was at Reynolds for 17 years after all.

What was funny though, was as I went through them, I realized that ALL of the place that I used to work at before Reynolds have gone out of business. This is only 4 companies, but still. None of them are still there.

It gives me an evil little thought and bit of comfort to think that the same will befall the fifth place I've worked - without me they will be no more. MWAA-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA!

Vote Early and Vote Often!!!

Well maybe just the once per election.

Yep, today is huge around here. If for no other reason than we can FINALLY be done with all the fricking political ads - ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!! I am so sick of them. And the phone calls. Ugh!!!!

Here, we have several big issues:
Payday lenders - they are trying to push a law that basically eliminates this industry (cutting the annual interest rate so low that they can't afford the business). I'm against government intervention where it doesn't belong - and this is a huge case where it doesn't belong. The first job of government is to protect the citizens FROM THE GOVERNMENT. The second job is to protect cititzens from each other. It is not the job to protect people from themselves - EVER. People should have the choice to use these if they need to. Period. No on 4.

Casino - hot button for a lot of people because 'gambling is bad'. What gets me most about this one is that nearly everybody spending money on both sides of the issue is from outside of Ohio - the casinos in Indiana don't want it taking their business, and the owner of the proposed casino is not from Ohio. Me, I see jobs, property and income taxes coming into the state, even if there aren't any additional extra 'casino' taxes - which I don't see going away like people are afraid of because of a single worse case scenario. So Yes on 5.

Our mayor is being recalled - and I fully support that. He engineered the recall of the previous mayor and several of the city council - and is just don't like him at all. I think he deserves to be thrown out of office - and in fact I'd then love to have the old mayor run again and get back in office. Then maybe we will stop looking like a bunch of idiots to the rest of the state. So recall Johnson (which takes a 'NO' vote).

For president - well both scare me. I don't actively support either one. I don't trust Obama, and I fear that McCain is just more of the same that has done so poorly the last 8 years. I do wish for an actual candidate I could support (I liked Guilliani myself!).

However the key thing is that if you don't vote, then you have not right to complain about ANYTHING! So vote to keep your right to bitch! And as bad as either candidate seems, we get to do it all over again in only four more years!

So starts the second full week

Two interviews last week, two more already set for this week. It has been so long, I don't remember trying to find a job being such a full time job as it has been.

At least I seem to be over the shock finally - i.e. I actualy feel like eating again, which isn't necessarily a good thing, since I don't have a place to work out any more.