A new bra

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

 

After the news conference, announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the crap out of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(ok, I actually got this as an email from my wife, and I don't know where it originated.  Still funny)

Feeling old

A colleague of mine has been bringing her newborn into the office about once a week for everyone to see (she still has close to a month more vacation / maternity leave ). My own youngest turned 16 yesterday. My oldest turns 26 in November.

It just got me thinking a bit. My kids are starting to become adults one by one, and how many more years are there before I become a grandparent? Still a few away, but definitely out there.

I look back at when I last held, fed, bathed and cared for a baby, and I'm a bit surprised at how much I do not miss it. I like being a father, but as my kids are leaving home, it seems that the being with kids part is going with them.

A lot of the pelople I interact with are parents of young kids, and it is really surprising me that while I'm happy for them, I don't need to share it. I don't have any desire to hold Jessica's baby, and honestly most young kids of other parents I know are more annoying than cute.

On the one hand I find that I'm one of the "cool" parents that my kids friends all like (even to the point of soon runnikng yet another Pathfinder game for Matt and his friends), while on the other I don't want to be bothered by a bunch snot nosed rug rats. When did I get this old.

Now get off my lawn!

Intelligent Design - NOT!

A while back there was some furor over Intelligent Design - with a bunch of people calling it a scientific theory (because they had obviously never looked up the definition of a theory, as opposed to a scientific lawm or even a hypothesis).

The whole idea is rubbish, on so many levels. A classic argument is the eye, which sends images to the optic upside down. Obviously not designed, at least not with any intelligence. Or the classic joke about the placement of human sex organs (i.e. putting a recreation area right next to a toxic waste disposal site).

Lately I'm more concerned with another completely back asswards human design problem. Our bodies are set up so that any excess calories are stored as fat for when we don't get enough. A good idea. But what happens when you don't get enough to eat then? Do we use those same stored calories, that fat that we were saving for a hungry day? Hell no. If you don't eat enough then you hoard the fat, and instead start breaking down muscle. So once food becomes scarce, our bodies make it even more difficult to obtaqin more. And when we get more does it go back to replenishing the muscles it just broke down? Of course not, that would be an intelligent decision. It goes back to storing it as fat.

There is no such thing as intelligent design. If we were designed at all, it was by a commitee of idiots.

Yes, diets make me cranky, you want to make something of it? I'd smack you, but I'm too weak from hunger while my fat belly just seems to grow.

(And you thought I wouldn't find anything to complain about :-) ).

Rule by the minorities

One thing I have noticed the past few years, and that I have been curious as to when it happened, was the end of majority rule in our society.

It seems that everything is now based on taking care of the minorities - no matter how small they might be. We can't have anything that might adversely effect even the smallest percentage of people, even if it stongly benefits the vast majority.

The main example I remember is an article about new public toilets in NYC. They were from Europe, and were small, self cleaning, and efficient. The problem was that you couldn't fit a wheelchair in them, and when you made it big enough to do so, homeless people ended up moving in and sleeping in them. I believe in equal rights, and giving reasonable access to the handicapped, but in this case it was not possible. And because this small percentage of people could not use them, the city was sued, the project scrapped, and NOBODY got them.

Anlther case - some steakhouses used to have peanuts on the tables. There are some kids with peanut allergies - serious enough to cause hospitalization or death. To me the reasonable solution is, if you are allergic the DON'T GO THERE. But no, in our minority rule society the restaurant instead removes them - taking them from the vast majority who enjoy them for the sake of a small minority.

I won't even get into politics and the current approval ratings for our so called 'leaders'. They don't seem to represent the majority anymore.

To me it seems ridiculous to ever think everybody can have everything. Just because I can't do something should not mean that nobody can. Of course I'm in the minority for believing this, and it is the one case where the minority is ignored - go figure.

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do

As the classic Joe Walsh song goes, "Life's been good to me." Well maybe not all of the past, but my present is in pretty good shape. I have a great wife that I love very much. I have a fantastic job that makes decent money, and where I get to do new and interesting things, and where everyone is treated with respect. None of my kids are on drugs or in jail (we won't go into school/jobs for some :-) ). I'm not out of debt by a long shot; however I'm not over my head either.

So things are good, and therein lies the problem. I've got little to write about. My old job made me feel like the guy working with monkeys. Horrible, but something to write about. My first marriage was a long period of emotional abuse from which I will always have scars, but it generated great stories.

People just don't appreciate the hard times. It is from these that all stories and lessons in life come. You never heard your parents talk about living a block away fcrom school and walking over when it was mild and 70. Nobody makes a movie about the guy who goes to college, has a few good jobs, a nice wife, raises a family and retires to Florida to fish every day.

Not that I want to have something bad happen, but things going well doesn't make for exciting writing.

Not like the other kids

Something that I finally realized after forty years is that I don't fit in. I match no demographics, and seem to always be on the far side of any bell curve. This isn't intentional, but it seems to be the way it is.

I never set out to be different; and truthfully it still amazes me that I am. Take politics. I registered as a democrat many years ago, and haven't bothered to change it. However I have voted republican for the past umpteen presidential elections - because as much as I disliked the republican candidates, the democratic ones were worse. I haven't liked a candidate for president in 20 years or more.

I am a fiscal conservative but a social liberal. I believe the smaller the government, the better. I believe in helping people, but only those who are actively helping themselves.

I believe in personal responsibility. That alone seems to set me apart from so many in the US.

More than anything I believe that decisions should be based on rational thought, not emotions. I doesn't matter if my leaders can feel my pain, I want someone who can think about the issues.

It is time to quit trying to make people feel better, and instead make some good, rational decisions.

But that is just my opinion, and I keep finding out that it is the only one.

Still alive, still boring

Yesterday was the first time all summer I took a walk for lunch, simply because I was working off site where there was no place to get lunch within walking distance. It occurred to me then that I missed the time that I spent thinking when I walked. Not deep thoughts usually; I'm not that profound. But I had missed.

It turns out that with things actually going pretty well lately, it was those walks that gave me any ideas to write even this little bit. So now that I'm back at the office I hope to update more often, even if it is from my new Droid (that replaced my Blackberry) while I walk (like right now).

One of THOSE days

Yeah, it has been one of those days. To start out I wake up, and my alergies give me a good kick in the groin to get going. Ok, maybe more of a poke in the eye, as my eyes are horribly painful and bloodshot (so much so that Preston makes a pot joke whne I see him and that is five hours later). They at least feel slightly better (not like they are full of sand - thank Zrytec!)

Then I drive in to work, having to stare half the way at the stupid water filled dildo the city of Dayton is erecting on the horizon. Once I get there I see a cop taking notes - it turns out our building was broken into last night, and the other side offices were also broken into. It doesn't look like they got in my side at least, though we are still missing several laptops and ipods at least. To top that off, turns out there is also a registered sex offender working in the building - nice.

But the kicker comes when Diane gets home - and finds that where we were noticing some leakage from the upstairs bathroom into the kitchen - well now we have a hole in the ceiling where the new drywall we had put up two years ago has collapsed - but we can definitely see the drip!

And looking down from the access panel in the upstairs bathroom - you can see the corroded valve, and twisting just right, the kitchen sink down below.

Yeah, one of those days.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

To whomever picked that particular design

To whomever decided to pick that particular design for the new watertower being erected on Smithville road;

Did you intentionally pick that design, or are you simply over compensating for your own personal shortcomings?

My commute eastbound on US-35 every morning was simply never complete before I was forced to stare at your construction thrusting itself out of the trees, rigidly pushing its way into the empty skyline around it.

It is a tribute to your engineering and architectural acumen to have this monument to your masculinity stand out so highly on its own.

Seriously though, am I the only one who thinks that new watertower looks like a giant penis?

Do you believe pt 3

This actually ties back to my posts 16 months ago. Tonight I am taking Diane back to see Lisa Williams again - it was her birthday present. This time in Ft Wayne, IN, about 2 1/2 hours away (as opposed to Cincinnati last time)

So going to see a psychic perform. Basically it is "cold readings" - a technique often used to simulate psychic powers. Last time was entertaining - but it doesn't change if I believe or not.

She did a "Meet & Greet" before the show - and the cynic in me can't help but wonder how much information she gets from these for the readings. It was funny, Diane mentioned to her that she had met her before, and she said she didn't remember her name. But for psychic shouldn't she know it?

Like a magicianI'm just going to tey to enjoy thor Diane's sake, knowng that while it may look amazing, none of it is real.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry