Wednesday, April 21, 2010

One of THOSE days

Yeah, it has been one of those days. To start out I wake up, and my alergies give me a good kick in the groin to get going. Ok, maybe more of a poke in the eye, as my eyes are horribly painful and bloodshot (so much so that Preston makes a pot joke whne I see him and that is five hours later). They at least feel slightly better (not like they are full of sand - thank Zrytec!)

Then I drive in to work, having to stare half the way at the stupid water filled dildo the city of Dayton is erecting on the horizon. Once I get there I see a cop taking notes - it turns out our building was broken into last night, and the other side offices were also broken into. It doesn't look like they got in my side at least, though we are still missing several laptops and ipods at least. To top that off, turns out there is also a registered sex offender working in the building - nice.

But the kicker comes when Diane gets home - and finds that where we were noticing some leakage from the upstairs bathroom into the kitchen - well now we have a hole in the ceiling where the new drywall we had put up two years ago has collapsed - but we can definitely see the drip!



And looking down from the access panel in the upstairs bathroom - you can see the corroded valve, and twisting just right, the kitchen sink down below.




Yeah, one of those days.
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To whomever picked that particular design

To whomever decided to pick that particular design for the new watertower being erected on Smithville road;

Did you intentionally pick that design, or are you simply over compensating for your own personal shortcomings?

My commute eastbound on US-35 every morning was simply never complete before I was forced to stare at your construction thrusting itself out of the trees, rigidly pushing its way into the empty skyline around it.

It is a tribute to your engineering and architectural acumen to have this monument to your masculinity stand out so highly on its own.

Seriously though, am I the only one who thinks that new watertower looks like a giant penis?




Saturday, March 20, 2010

Do you believe pt 3

This actually ties back to my posts 16 months ago. Tonight I am taking Diane back to see Lisa Williams again - it was her birthday present. This time in Ft Wayne, IN, about 2 1/2 hours away (as opposed to Cincinnati last time)

So going to see a psychic perform. Basically it is "cold readings" - a technique often used to simulate psychic powers. Last time was entertaining - but it doesn't change if I believe or not.

She did a "Meet & Greet" before the show - and the cynic in me can't help but wonder how much information she gets from these for the readings. It was funny, Diane mentioned to her that she had met her before, and she said she didn't remember her name. But for psychic shouldn't she know it?

Like a magicianI'm just going to tey to enjoy thor Diane's sake, knowng that while it may look amazing, none of it is real.
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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Mutant Marsupials Take Up Arms Against Australian Air Force

So I'm sitting here trying to think of something witty to set as my status this morning and get my brain kickstarted, when I receive the following email from a colleague to do that very thing. The amazing part is it is both funny and relevant to work - you don't see that much.

Enjoy
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reuse of some object-oriented code has caused tactical headaches for
Australia's armed forces.
As virtual reality simulators assume larger roles in helicopter combat
training, programmers have gone to great lengths to increase the realism of
their scenarios, including detailed landscapes and - in the case of the
Northern Territory's Operation Phoenix - herds of kangaroo's (since
disturbed animals might well give away a helicopter's position).

The head of the Defense Science & Technology Organizations Land
Operations/Simulation division reportedly instructed Developers to model the
local marsupials' movements and reactions to helicopters. Being efficient
programmers They just re-appropriated some code originally used to model
infantry detachment reactions under the same stimuli, changed the mapped
icon from a soldier to a kangaroo, and increased the figures' speed of
movement.

Eager to demonstrate their flying skills for some visiting American pilots,
the hotshot Aussies "buzzed"
the virtual kangaroos in low flight during a simulation. The kangaroos
scattered, as predicted, and the visiting Americans nodded appreciatively.
then did a double-take as the kangaroos reappeared from behind a hill and
launched a barrage of Stinger missiles as the hapless helicopter.
(Apparently, the programmers had forgotten to remove that part of the
infantry coding.)

The lesson?

Objects are defined with certain attributes, and any new object defined in
terms of an old one inherits all the attributes.
The embarrassed programmers had learned to be careful when reusing
object-oriented code, and the Yanks left With a new found respect for
Australian wildlife..

Simulator supervisors report that pilots from that point onward have
strictly avoided kangaroos, just as they were meant to.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Winners don't have to worry about things like sportsmanship

A colleague of my wife posted the title as his facebook status this morning. I immediately wanted to comment, however my Crackberry doesn't have an app that allows me to, at least not correctly. Any normal person would thus just blow it off and forget about it - but then if you have reading this for any time at all you reallize that I am far from normal; that plus twenty minutes to wait before the presentations start means that I'm phoning this one in.

I really don't think of myself as a liberal - especially compared to those in public office. And while I may be a registered Democrat, it is more because I see the Republicans as much evil, while the Democrats are just ignorant. But when I saw this all the liberal alarms went shrieking off in my head.

This statement translates to the win at all costs mentality in my mind. Did you make an illegal move that injured another player - no problem if you win! Did you lie, cheat or steal to suceed? Good for you because you suceeded! Screw them all to get ahead. It isn't personal after all, it is just business.

With this attitude, we should be applauding the Kenneth Lay's of the world - look at all the money they made after all. Oh, an they managed to ruin lives doing that? Big deal.

Sportsmanship, which in life translates to moral character, is so much more important than winning. Doing what is right, even when no one looking, is truly what is important in life. Sportsmanship is not for losers, it is for everyone. It does not prevent you from winning, but it enhances the win.

In my professional life, I have worked for a company whose owner is solely dedicated to his own personal success, with no regard for his employees nor his customers. I have also worked for a company that truly embodies the idea that the employees are the essence of the company. The first is struggling, losing customers and firing employees, while the second is growing and hiring.

In the end we all die with nothing, leaving behind only the relastionships we have made, and how we have influenced the people we have encountered. All the money in the world, all the victories in sports, aren't going to buy one more breath when it is your time to go.

Me - I'd rather leave behind memories of how I was kind and fair and just, even if that means I didn't win at business or sports or games.
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Monday, December 21, 2009

I Hate My Job

Ok. I don't hate my job. In fact, I really like it. Maybe even like-like it. But in a manly way of course.
However, I did find this over at Murder Burger, a site for a hamburger restaurant in New Zealand, that I just had to share it. Enjoy, and if you are ever in Aukland - this sounds like a great place for a hamburger.

I Hate my Job

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Christmas Letter 2009

Hello to all our friends, neighbors, family, acquaintances (and just who are some of these people anyway?):

Tide and time wait for no man, nor for any family. The Ohio branch of the Carter clan is still enjoying the good life in the paradise here, luxuriating in the beautiful . . . ok I almost got through that with a straight face. While we still aren’t in the big city, life in the suburbs continues on. This has been a year of changes, but then what year hasn’t.

The biggest change since our last annual letter is, wait for it, . . . Employment! And that is always a good change. The good news is that after two months of looking, I found a contract position with Computer Sciences Corporation. The bad news is it was in Detroit. A short term contract over the holidays turned into a three month engagement, and by the time I completed it I knew could drive I-75 in my sleep (and sometimes did ? ). Fortunately, after only a single week I was able to land a permanent position with The Design Knowledge Company in Fairborn – a difference of only 1200% in commute time (from four hours to 20 minutes). It is a strong, growing company and I am really enjoying working at a place that respects and appreciates its employees. In what little spare time I’ve had this year I chaperoned band camp again, and have continued to play games and win a few small awards.

Diane’s year has not been quite so strong. As is in the news, the Real Estate market is not the best place to be right now. The highlight for her (and for me) was her company’s annual convention – which was held on a Caribbean cruise in February. Diane continues to write the monthly band booster newsletter, as well as a monthly Women’s Council of Realtors newsletter (yet I am still the one that has to write the family letter every year – go figure!).

Becky is doing well for being almost two years out of college. She still works full time as a sign language interpreter at a high school, as well as doing some freelance interpreting, and interpreting through a video relay service. Lou got a puppy this summer and Becky is in love with her . . . and Lou too. She is still living in Minneapolis and having fun.

Jon is in his fourth year at Bowling Green State University, still majoring in Psychology with an art minor. He has changed apartments, and still continues to work for food services on campus. He had a bit of a scare this fall when his hand slipped into a vat of hot oil while demonstrating how not to clean the fryer, but it turned out not to be as bad as he first thought, and has completely healed up with no lasting effects.

Katie graduated from high school in May, and on her 19th birthday moved into her own apartment. She had started school at Sinclair Community College, majoring in creative writing. At the beginning of December she moved into a new apartment, this time without a roommate, and is looking forward to living completely on her own. She also has said that she is looking for a job, and we all are anxiously waiting for her to be employed again.

Erik is a senior in high school this year, and is looking forward to graduation in May. This fall he was featured five times in the marching band show, including opening the show with a solo. The band managed to qualify for finals at the mid-states marching championship for the first time in seven years – quite a big deal for them. He is still involved in the Jazz band (and you should hear him scat!). Ohio Northern University is currently at the top of the lists of colleges he would like to attend, looking at majoring in computer engineering (a micro-chip off the old block, you might say ? ).

Matthew is a sophomore at WCHS and also in the marching band, having loads of fun playing baritone, including being in a quartet with his brother (that the director liked to call the “Carter Brothers Gospel Quartet”). He is still growing, and looks to soon be the tallest one in the family. He was elected patrol leader in his scout troop, and just received his Life rank, and has begun working on his Eagle.

Scout spends his time sleeping, eating, sleeping, patrolling the yard, and sleeping, and doesn’t let anything get in his yard, except maybe the squirrels. He was recently upset by the idea that he might only be able to sleep for 20 hours in a day, however we quickly managed to bust that myth wide open.

2009 has been a year with many ups and downs, and we look forward to 2010 for more improvements. As always, we wish you and yours the very best during this season, and throughout the coming year.

Wishing you always...
Walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain
And tea beside the fire.
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire


Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Katlyn, Erik, Matthew and Scout

Monday, December 07, 2009

A date which will live in infamy

And how many people remember it today? December 7th, 1941. What strikes me is the parallel the attack has to September 11, 2001.

What is unfortunate is the difference in response.

"Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God." - FDR, December 8th, 1941

What have we learned? Even more important, unfortunately, what have we forgotten since then?

It may be 68 years later, and it seems that as a country, as a people, we are but a pale shadow of those who came before.

There is a joke about the French, saying that they should be thankful to the Americans that they don't speak German now. What I'm wondering is, in forty years time, who might we be thanking that we don't speak Arabic?

Friday, November 13, 2009

Relax, nobody gets out of here alive

People never cease to shock and amaze me, and all too often not in a good way.

There are just way too many people who take life way too seriously. As Costaki Economopoulis says, "C'mon, it's jokes". I simply can't conceive how people can function without a sense of humor, especially in the modern world. While there is a place for being serious, there is never a time when a sense of humor does not help.

When a tragedy strikes, you can always tell that the healing has begun because the jokes start. When people say you can't joke about something - then that is exactly what needs to be joked about. Reader's Digest has always claimed that Laughter is the Best Medicne and I truly believe it.

Political correctness is part of this problem. You end up with some uptight upper class snobs who decide that someone else might be offended by something, so you can't say that any more. If you say something it might offend someone. Guess what folks - nowhere in the constitution does it EVER say that you have a right not to be offended. But you have people trying to ban books, music, tv shows and movies because they are offended by them, or even worse, because they feel someone else might be offended by them. To them I say - so what!!!

If you don't like it - turn the channel. Don't buy it. Support the things you like, but don't tell me I can't listen to it, read it or watch it because you don't like it.

So lighten up and grow a sense of humor. You not only will live longer, but you will enjoy it a lot more as well.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Proud 'fer ya

I don't talk about family much in my blog, mainly because I know that several of them read it and I'm not sure about writing things on more 'sensitive' family issues and people.

Usually, but not always.

I dob't consider myself southern, nor a redneck. My dad's famuily is from Missour, and that is just about the dfefinition of mid-west. They do come from down in the very southern part (the boot heel as it is called). My dad has his PhD in Government and history, and my mom has a Masters (I think in education). I grew up the son of two teachers in Colorado - so I'm not southern at all - i consider myself western, even if I have lived in Ohio for the past 20+ years.

However, once in a while, the redneck comes through, usually with a wink and a nod. Thus it was that I grew up hearing again and again how my relatives would say they were proud "fer ya" instead of "of you".

This afternoon I am down in Cincinnatti watching my boys marching band perform. (If you wanted to read something that gets straight to the poiint, then boy are you in the wrong place!). Erik is a senior, and he has 5 features in the show, including solos ro open and close the first number, a brass choir, a brass quartet (with his younger brother - the band director likes to call it "The Carter Brother's
Gospel Quartet"), and a trio to close the show.

Well the band has finally made MSBA finals (the first time since 2003) tonight. This is a pretty big deal for them. And as a father, I really want to say that I'm extremely proud 'fer my boys and the band.

I'm not sure if I ever say it enough, but I am very proud 'fer my boys, and I love them very much.
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