Eulogy for my Dad

1 Bob Dylan most famously asked “How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?” How do you measure the life of a man?  How many roads did my Father walk in his life?

2 He was a son, born Carrol Joseph Carter in Portageville Missouri, the youngest of nine children.  He grew up playing in the cotton fields and helping his father in the family plumbing business.  It didn’t take him long to dislike his name and go by Joe (or C. Joe for more formal occasions).

3 He was a newspaperman, getting his first ‘real’ job when he was old enough, working after school at the local newspaper, setting type and learning the day to day business of putting out a paper.  He never realized at the time how important this first job would later be.

4 He was a Mississippi Riverman.  After graduating high school (a feat that not many in his family had accomplished to that point) he worked on Mississippi riverboats for two years.  He always loved the riverboats, and I remember him painstakingly working on a scratch built riverboat model when I was younger.

5 He was a soldier, enlisting in the army.  He never served overseas, instead being stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO as a corporal and company clerk.  When asked what he did during his service, he would refer to the classic character “Radar” in “M*A*S*H” – stating he worked filing papers and driving the colonel around.

6 He was a traveler.  After leaving the service, he tried to follow the traditional path of getting married and settling down, but his girlfriend turned him down.  So instead he decided that he had enough of the cotton fields and Mississippi river and wanted a change of scenery and life. He headed out to Colorado where his brother Leo lived, only to find that he loved his newly adopted state so much that never left it for more than a few months ever again

7 He said that he liked being a thousand miles from his relatives – close enough that they could come and visit, but not so close that they could just drop in unannounced.   I think this idea came back to bite him with all his grandchildren being that far away later in life.

8 He was a scholar.  He took advantage of the G.I. Bill and enrolled at the University of Southern Colorado in Pueblo. While he was in school he decided that with his experience working on the newspaper that journalism would be something to look into, along with history and political science.   He applied for the editor of the school newspaper, his only competition being a local young woman who had run her high school paper.  He got the job on the newspaper, and Shirley Apple became editor of the yearbook.

9 He was a husband.  I believe Mom must have eventually forgiven him for beating her out as editor, as their marriage lasted 58 years until she passed away last July.  Mom and Dad made sure to never fight in front of the children, but that doesn’t mean they never had disagreements.    I recall hearing them arguing once through the vents in the small house where we grew up (he had driven us home after having a beer or two more than he should have), and I remember thinking that I hoped one day to marry someone who loved me as much.

10 He was a lineman.  While in school he worked for the power company in Pueblo, reading meters and repairing lines.  He learned the city that way, and every time we visited he would point out landmarks, and how they had changed over the years.

11 He was a father, of course, or I wouldn’t be standing up here now.  Mom and Dad had four children.  Their first, Jonathan Andrew, was born prematurely in 1959 and only lived for two days.  Margaret Carol was born in 1960, Norma Katherine in 1962, and I followed in 1964.

12 He and mom continued their education after they graduated, both earning Masters Degrees at Adams State College.  He then continued on eventually earning his Doctorate from the University of Colorado at Boulder. His dedication and hard work inspired his young son, who at only four years old began carrying around an old green notebook (with a frog drawn on it), filled with lined paper, in which I would dutifully scribble (trying to stay between the lines) for hours at a time, filling page after page.  When asked what I was doing, I responded that I was working on my dissertation, just like my Daddy.

13 He was a teacher.  He began teaching History and Political Science back at Adams State College even before he finished his doctorate.  He taught there until he retired, inspiring more students than anyone could ever count, touching their lives.  I was lucky enough to take a couple of his classes when I went to college.

14 In his American Studies class (basically freshman American history) he spent a lot of time on Native American history, as well as personal history.  I used to joke that my sisters and I were the only students in his class that had their personal history papers corrected (though not graded) for content.  To this day I still can’t keep all of his brothers and sisters and my cousins straight.

15 He was a fair and strict educator.  He once gave my sister Norma an ‘F’ on a paper with a notation "did you think I couldn’t tell you didn’t read the book?"  Good or bad she took every class he taught at ASC. He used to joke that he would give students credit when they didn’t know an answer if they could at least be original and funny, although after almost 30 years that was very challenging to do.

16 Dad always had his course notes on 3x5 cards, and kept a bunch in his pocket for taking down any notes he might need.  I once asked him after seeing him flip through several at once during a lecture if he just decided to skip several items, or had he covered them already?

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19 He showed me he actually included blank cards, in case he decided to add something later.  I could have printed this on regular paper, but I think note cards were more fitting.

20 Beyond being a teacher, he was also a professor.  He was extremely proud of his degree, and the fact that despite neither of his parents being able to read or write, he was not only one of the first in his family to graduate high school, but to also go on to earn his PhD.  He felt that it was his duty to do more than just teach, but to research and expand on his field of knowledge.

21 He was a historian.  He was an expert in southern Colorado history, participating and leading several historical associations.  He proved that the accepted version of Zebulon Montgomery Pike’s expedition (which led to Pike’s Peak being named after him) was wrong, and they did not stop where it was previously believed, but found and documented the true location of his stockade.

22 He even created the “Pike Hike”, where a brave group of friends, students and others would recreate Pike’s winter trek – no small feat hiking and camping in the San Luis Valley in February each year, in the late 60s and early 70s before the advent of modern technology. Even after he retired, he would give tours at the Creede Mining Museum, as he and Mom relocated there to enjoy the mountains even more.

23 He was an author.  He published several books, including his doctoral dissertation (not in a green notebook) titled “The Colonels of Politics” – about Colorado county commissioners.   He also published his master’s thesis on the history of the local Catholic Church (Sacred Heart) in Alamosa.   I cannot count the number of papers and articles he wrote for historical journals and other publications as well.

24 His biggest achievement however was when he had his book “Pike in Colorado” published in 1978.  A limited edition hardback (500 signed copies), and a paperback edition.  This full color book described all that he had found about Pike’s travels in the Valley, and was available at local museums for several years.   I was very excited a few months ago to find several copies on Amazon, buying them for my kids to have.

25 He was a man of faith.  He grew up in the Catholic Church (almost literally, as he lived both across the street from and then behind the local church in Portageville).  Of course as an altar boy, that meant he was often called upon to help serve mass at the last minute when others failed to show.   His faith was a deep part of him, and even when travelling he and Mom would always find the local church to attend mass on Saturday evenings.

26 It was always Saturday evenings, because while it was important, it wasn’t worth getting up early on Sunday mornings for, though he never complained about having to get up early when either I or my sister Norma were scheduled get up at 5:30am to serve morning mass.

27 He was a craftsman.  Not only building a garage behind the house, but also created his own house painting business.  Pride Painters may have started to help pay off the charge account my sisters had run up at the Medicine Chest (you mean we can really buy things just by signing without any money?), but it continued for over fifteen years in the summers and holidays.

28 This gave him a little extra money (he would often mention the new truck that he bought from this business) and providing summer jobs for his kids and just about every boy and girlfriend they had, and even some former students. While the painting business earned him and his many employees their wages, as the owner he never actually turned a profit.  This was usually because he always seemed to be contracting out to, as he said, “Divorcees and Widow Women”.

29 I myself worked on the very first house at the age of 9, earning a whopping $1 a day (which would often be spent on a candy bar when we stopped at the hardware store for supplies after work).  I still remember the farm, and mixing the paint and linseed oil for the old shake shingle roof; Roscoe the tom turkey who would run up to greet visitors, wanting to be thumped on the chest before wandering away;  or the old dog that had adopted a litter of kittens as her own after their mother was hit and killed by a car on the road (and those kittens always seemed to be getting into the paint).

30 He was a businessman.   Or at least he tried to be one.  While his brothers and nephews were often very successful traders, the entire “profit” thing seemed to elude him.  Whenever anyone would visit, they always had to go “shopping” in Dad’s garage to see what incredible treasures he had.   He loved to go “junking” – finding garage sales and flea markets to get some fantastic piece of treasure, that he never managed to resell for a profit.

31 He and mom always enjoyed putting up a table at gun shows for many years, though I suspect this was more as an excuse to travel a bit. After he retired from teaching, He and Mom started a retail business – “Shirley’s Selectables and Joe’s Junk” in Creede, but it was too far off the main street to attract much traffic, and eventually folded.

32 He was a patron of the arts.  While they lived in Creede, he and Mom were loyal patrons of the Creed Repertory Theatre Company, attending each of the productions put on throughout the summer, and often helping with fundraising for the theatre (and even often feeding the actors and crew).

33 He was a friend.  Whether colleagues or students, friends from church or other old farts, he loved to sit and visit with people.  Coffee every morning was more than a ritual with him; it often was the highlight of his day during his later years.

34 He was a grandfather; with seven grandchildren he was extremely proud of...   Jonathan, Katlyn, Erik and Matthew Carter  Joseph and Meg Harmon.   And his step-granddaughter Becky Lukkason (who is due with what would have been his first great-grandchild in October), He loved visiting them, and once even did a presentation for Jon’s social studies class on how Native Americans would make and throw spears using atl-atls.

35 He was the patriarch of the Carter family.  There are so many stories others can tell about Uncle Joe and Aunt Shirley, and they were loved very much by their family, and touched so many lives.

36 Dr. C Joe Carter walked many roads in his life, and touched so many people.  He will long be remembered and loved by family, friends and all those he met with a smile and a joke.  I have always been very proud of him, and to be his son.  Now that he has taken his final road, he will be eternally missed and I hope that I can live to be half the man that he was.

Christmas Letter 2016

In-laws, out-laws, relatives and friends. And even those three people that we still don’t know how they got onto the mailing list in the first place. Here in the wilds of Ohio the Carters continue to find new and exciting ways to describe our dull and humdrum lives. This past year has been one for celebrations and for mourning, as we have both lost and gained members of our family.

This July saw the passing of the matriarch of our clan – known to so many of the extended family as Aunt Shirley, but to Michael simply as Mom. She died in her sleep after a short illness and after the many accidents and injuries of the past few years is finally out of pain and at peace. We think of her often, and can’t quite express the pain knowing that she is no longer at the other end of a quick phone call.

Mike, Diane, Erik and Matt were able to fly out for the funeral and to visit with Dad a bit. It was intentionally kept very small, though Margaret did come in from New Jersey, and a few cousins did drive out for it.

In September, Dad fell again with (we believe) some more TIAs (essentially mini ‘warning’ strokes that resolved themselves). While not always happy about it, he is now in an assisted living facility and we hope will be in a new apartment soon. Norma, cousin Greg and Mom’s friend Millie have been invaluable helping out with everything there.

Mike and Diane went back out again to visit Dad in November, and will continue to try to get back to Colorado more often.

In much happier news, the clan also grew by one as we welcomed Eric into our hearts as Becky married him and became Mrs. Lukkason on the 10^th of December. Diane, Mike, Jon, Erik and Matt braved the drive up to Minnesota for the wedding, and the even longer drive home in the snow the day after as well. The happy couple had already purchased a house together in Pine Island MN earlier in the year, and Becky is continuing her sign language interpreting in the Rochester area. Eric transferred to the Rochester HOM Furniture store in the sales lead position.

Jon’s work at the call center continues, and even though people are very happy to be able to understand his accent, he hopes to be able to move upward soon. He and Erik no longer share an apartment, though he continues to play miniature games with his father and friends.

Katie is still with Sam in the metropolis of Lebanon, Oregon. She is continuing to work on her art, and continues to get some commission work to keep her busy. Mike and Diane were able to fly out and see them in the spring and enjoyed seeing the sea lions as well as trying the notorious Voodoo Donuts! They are in the process of packing up the cats and moving to a new apartment after Christmas.

Erik continues to show up his dad at work, enjoying himself and now living on his own. He bought a new car and enjoys having a little bit of spending money. He and his best friend have started a small venture company providing video game consoles for rental at events large and small.

Matt is finishing his degree at Miami University before Christmas, after having a successful internship this past spring. He is still living with Megan, and she somehow manages to tolerate the madness of the family when she comes over for the holidays.

Diane continues her amazing success after her surgery, now having lost more than 130 pounds and is feeling wonderful.  She has had a few part time jobs to start getting back into the work force, and continues her volunteer work as well, as well as her quilting and crafting.  The amount of energy she now has is amazing, and Mike seems to have replaced her spot on the couch.

Mike continues to talk to computers and the little toy soldiers that have invaded the dining room table (and even though they retreat for the holidays, they are soon back in even more numbers).  He continues to do a little bit of home brewing (four kegs for Becky’s wedding plus another one for his work Christmas party) and a bit of travelling to game tournaments.  He continues to throw a few words up a couple of times a week on his gaming blog – which at least keeps him out of the girly bars.

Devo and Tip continue to fill our lives with their young energy, of course constantly wanting to go out so they can come back in again so they can go back out again so they can come in again so they can go out again . . .and Tip helps to keep the neighborhood feral cat population down whenever he can escape the house.

As we say goodbye to 2016 and the rollercoaster ride it has been, we are still thankful for the family and friends around us, and wish everyone a better new year.

There are 4 things you must never do: lie, steal, cheat, or drink. 

But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. 

If you must steal, steal away from bad company. 

If you must cheat, cheat death. 

And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

Mom & Dad

Katie & Sam

Devo & Tip with Santa

Jon, Erik, Becky & Matt the night before the wedding

Becky & Eric, Mr & Mrs Lukkason

Mike & Diane

-Mike, Diane, Becky & Eric, Jon, Erik, Katie & Sam, Matthew, Devo and Tip

Christmas Letter 2015

To all those we know, don’t know, don’t care and can’t seem to purge from a mailing list that just seems to continually grow like a fungus.  Here in the wilderness of Ohio the Carters are flourishing as we embrace all the new technological marvels like wi-fi, blu-tooth and even electricity.  It has been a year of highs and lows, so time to get into it.

Overall for the clan things have been relatively stable. No family trips this year, as these are getting much more difficult to do with the kids all spreading out and living their own lives. Mike and Diane flew out to see his parents and sister in Colorado before Thanksgiving and we did enjoy that.

Mike continues to attempt to tell these computer thingies what to do – and enjoys it because at least computers do what you tell them, unlike children. Nothing always does what you want it do, but you take what you can get. He is still dabbling a little in home brewing, though he found it sad that his Kegerator was actually empty for most of the year. He continues to play with toy soldiers, organizing events both locally and a little further out, such as the national championships in Chicago and a big tournament in Nashville.

Diane had a bit more excitement this year, going under the knife for a gastric sleeve procedure, and so far has managed to lose over 40 lbs. Her sewing and quilting have continued to invade more of the house, recently taking over another room as she acquired a huge quilting frame with long-arm machine. I’m not quite sure what that means, but it was ten feet wide and required an entire rainy afternoon to bring it up from Cincinnati. She has also become very involved in some local dog rescue operations, doing many dog transports to help them get to their furever homes.

Becky has gone back to being a freelance sign language interpreter full time (because who needs a stable, steady job anyway?  FREEDOM!!!)  She has been doing a lot of work in Rochester with the Mayo clinic (and her step-father keeps wondering why they need a clinic for mayonnaise?) and she and Eric are looking at moving out of the cities so that they will be closer. She continues to play volleyball, and has even started coaching her old team.

Jon continues to work at the call center, and finally managed to get a new apartment with his brother Erik and another roommate. And though he doesn’t remember, it is actually in the same complex that he lived in about 25 years ago, just around the corner from their former apartment in Centerville.

Katie is still enjoying the great northwest in Oregon. She and Sam have postponed their wedding plans (though they are still on). She continues to sell her dragon sculptures, and has even started working with a shop that wants to carry them. Her health has improved, and things continue to look up.

Erik graduated as everyone expected, and then went and got a job, a fancy job, smacking at a keyboard at the same company as his father (who was told that Erik interviewed better than he did!). He and Isolde (Z) broke off their relationship a few months after graduation, and so he is now figuring out

how to deal with life after college with a good job and even a little money in his pocket after student loan payments.

Matt continues to matriculate (in public even) at Miami of Ohio, getting into a program this upcoming spring to do an internship down in Cincinnati. He changed his major and is doing much better now that he moved out of the engineering program. He also managed to find a sweet geek girl to hook up with, and so far Megan has managed to even meet his brothers and parents without running away screaming in fear.

One of the sad lows of the year was when we had to help Scout cross the Rainbow Bridge back in June.  He was diagnosed with cancer earlier in the year as well as heart issues, and the consensus was that he would not have been able to survive the surgery to attempt to remove the tumor. So we just kept him comfortable and happy. Once he started to suffer we let him go.

Fate of course always surprises you, and only two weeks after Scout passed Diane gets a call from one of the rescue organizations she works with. A stray puppy was found collapsed in the heat, and when they took him to the vet he tested positive for Parvovirus, so he could not be around any other dogs. They knew that we did not have a dog in our home at the time, so asked if we could foster him. When we picked him up he was so sick he couldn’t even move, eat or drink. We did notice in the car that he had a very long, thin tail, and Mike said that it looked like when he grew up and was happy that tail was going to whip around – at which Diane and he instantly knew his name should be Devo. Suffice to say we failed as a foster family, as we could not give him up.  Nursed back from the brink, his is a very happy and healthy addition to our family. 

We did discuss the idea of getting a second dog to play with and be a little more sociable than Scout was. Again Fate intervened – we took Devo to the dog park for the first time once he hit six months old, and there was no one else there. We then looked back at the car – and there was another dog up on the car looking in the window. He had obviously been well taken care of before – was clean and not even hungry. He, however, was not chipped or fixed and no one claimed him, so Tip also joined our home. He unfortunately turned out to have heartworms, so he is undergoing treatment for that.  However we have decided that two is definitely enough.

So 2015 had its highs and lows and ups and downs.  But it isn’t the ‘normal’ days that make the memories, it is the best and the worst, and what does not kill us makes us stronger.

May love and laughter light your days,

And warm your heart and home.

May good and faithful friends be yours,

Wherever you may roam.

May peace and plenty bless your world

With joy that long endures

May all life’s passing seasons

Bring the best to you and yours!

Scout

This is as close to looking at you as you are going to get (February 2013)

It all started so unexpectedly, as so many true relationships do.  Things in my life were fairly stable, I had a decent job, the kids were healthy and as happy as you could expect 4 children to be in a single father household.  I think it was a Tuesday night, because if I remember correctly that was the night my middle son had his cub scout meetings.  He was a first year webelo at the time, and part of what they did in the spring was to visit various scout troops in order to help them decide which one they would want to join when they crossed over the next February.

I remember my daughter was running around, getting into things, and somehow got a minor burn on her arm from being careless with one of the activities.  And then he came in.

Now it wasn't dramatic or anything, and if you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't have even notices this tiny puppy being carried into the church basement hall where the scout meetings were.  Of course everyone gathered round to hear the story.

The woman holding him said they were down in Kentucky visiting her aging mother, who still lived on the family farm, though she could barely take care of the house, let alone the land.  Well some idiot had a dog who just had pups - he saw this farm and thought 'well farms can always use dogs', so dumped the mother and her litter and drove off.

Of course this grandmother couldn't take care of them, so the family brought them back to West Carrollton.  They had actually managed to successfully given away both the mother and all but this last pup.  Of course the three of my kids with me (my oldest son was at home doing homework) all asked if they could keep him.  I was raised with a dog, and I had not had one since my wife and I split up a few years before (she took our dog in the divorce).

My heart melted, and a new member joined our family that night, appropriately named "Scout".

I had never raised a puppy as an adult before (even the ones my parents got when I was in high school were theirs - I didn't raise or train them).  I admit, I probably made a lot of mistakes with that tiny bundle of fur.  I drove home with him on one arm - so tiny it was nothing to hold him while steering.  As I turned into the apartment complex, I noticed the vet office that was just across from the entrance - not two blocks from our apartment.

I got some puppy chow, water and food dish, collar and leash for him.  I put him in the downstairs half bath for most of his house breaking time - of course had to listen to him cry and whine for hours that first night.  The next day I walked him to the vet - less than two blocks.  Unfortunately I didn't think of car training him, so after his ride home he didn't get into a car again for a year since the vet was so close (like I said, I made some mistakes).  Of course he turned out to be so anemic from the horrible flea infestation he had that the vet was surprised he was alive, but we got that cleared up, all his shots etc, and talked to the vet about getting him fixed - and when we could do that.  A few months later he was fixed.

I remember taking him out morning and evenings to house break him.  Standing in the rain as he did his duty, but finally that was done.

When I bought our house, he loved the fact he now had a yard, even though I did have to stake down the fence in a few places to keep his adventurous spirit contained.  He quickly adapted to his role of protector of the family, and kept us safe from the varmints that would dare to enter his domain.  Two rabbits, a baby possum, four kittens and a woodchuck all succumbed to his protective skills.  A raccoon, bat and the squirrels all evaded him however.

When Diane and I got married and she moved down, Scout immediately became her dog.  We used to joke that he didn't like me at all - as whenever we came home, he would rush to the door and sniff everyone but me.  Yes, sometimes he could be an ass, but we all loved him.

Diane finally got him used to riding in the car, though he never really enjoyed it.  But at least he stopped getting carsick every time.  He did love going to the local dog parks, just to circle around the perimeter and check for new smells, always leaving his little tag to say "I was here".  He never was very social with other dogs though.  It was always funny to watch him, as he would of course sniff their butts, but when they went to sniff them he would move away with this look like "what are you doing with my butt?".  (Very similar to the look Diane said he got when he had gas - he would seem to be surprised by it).

He loved to watch the world out the living room or bedroom windows.  He pretty much took over our old couch, pulling out the stuffing to perfectly fit him in the corner.  We were trained pretty well, so that we gave him his nightly (then daily, then seemingly hourly) treats on schedule.  He would devour a piece of rawhide in a matter of minutes.  And don't ever take off his collar - he hated being 'naked'.  If you took it off for any reason he would freeze (which is the only way we got him in a couple of family pictures :-) ), and then when you put is back on he'd walk off in a huff, ignoring you until he got over being mad (which was usually until you had food).

The past year we could see that he was getting old.  He started having a hard time with the stairs, and of course our house has four levels.  He also was getting lots of various lumps all over.  What started to concern us however was a large lump between his back legs (since he had the lumps that belonged there removed many years ago).  The vet examined him, and then ran some tests, and it turned out it was cancerous.  Unfortunately any treatment was not guaranteed to extend his life any, nor would it be pleasant for him.  In addition due to his older heart, he might not even make it through any surgery.  He didn't know he was sick, so we just decided to keep him happy as long as he wasn't suffering.

Well the lump slowly grew bigger, until it was the size of a softball.  But he didn't seem to even notice it.  Then a couple of weeks ago there were a couple of drops of blood and some fluid seeping from it.  This started to grow bigger, and when we called the vet she said that the tumor was necrotizing, and that was the final stages.  On Tuesday we talked to our vet, we thought it was time.  We found a vet that makes house calls, which we thought would be better since he never liked going to the vet, nor did he want to get in the car at all any more.   We didn't want him scared for his trip over the Rainbow Bridge.  So we scheduled it for Friday, so that they boys could be here to say goodbye.

For me one of the hardest points leading up to the end was the waiting.  Especially as his deterioration rapidly got worse, the necrotic tumor pushing out.  At first I my feelings had been that I was being selfish because I was uncomfortable, but that quickly changed to feeling like we waited too long.  Tuesday night after I got home from work he was noticeably worse.  Wednesday he was much slower moving at all, and spent most of the day sleeping.  I was shocked at how big the tumor had gotten and how much it had pushed out.  Oh, and the smell.  I was getting really worried - he didn't want to move or go out even.  Then this morning he wouldn't even get up when my son and I went to work.  Diane was only able to get him to the landing on the stairs, and it wasn't until I returned home that we got him outside (boy did he have to pee!)  We knew that we had waited too long, so called the vet and he made it out as soon as he could.  We had scheduled it for our convenience, but it was his needs that we needed to take care of now.

When the vet arrived, Scout actually got up to sniff him.  The vet did confirm that with his heart murmur he would not have survived surgery had we tried to remove the cancer.   He went calmly and quietly, and one of the boys did make it in time to say goodbye.  The vet takes care of the cremation so that is one less worry.  There will always be a part of him in the house, because we will never get all the dog hair cleaned up.

Thursday, July 9th at 10:18 am, we said goodbye to my faithful pet, friend and family member.  Unfortunately only one of the boys could be there.  Scout has crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and isn't suffering any more.

Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass?

Yes, I have watched South Park.  And now that I'm 50 Cartman's quote from the first episode just seems to be feeling more appropriate.  Routine checkup last week, which meant a referral to a specialist.  Yes, I get the joy of having a camera stuck up where the sun doesn't shine just to take a look and see what is going on up there.

Of course a colonoscopy requires anesthesia, so it is a day off work (though I'm thinking that even on the worst day at my current job I'd rather be working).  But really, it is ok because I really REALLY wouldn't want to be awake for something like this anyway.  My doctor did say it is just a mile anesthesia, if I wanted to I could try to stay awake - but that just isn't on option I want to even consider.

It is actually two weeks away, but I can't stop thinking about it.  I have to avoid Olestra for a week before hand - but the whole warning about "anal seepage" has steered me clear of that forever.   Really, I may be fat but that doesn't mean I want to crap my pants to get thinner.  Then there comes the low fiber diet for a few days, with a liquid diet the day before.  Then comes the "preparation" - basically high powered laxatives (and it just seemed fitting to me that the SNL 40th special had the "Colon Blow" commercial on).  Really looking forward to getting up at 2 am to give my ass the dry heaves.

But what is really intriguing me how does a doctor end up choosing this as their specialty?  Brain surgeon - that is cool.  Obstetrician is another cool one - delivering babies.  I can even see some people that want to be podiatrists - we have all heard of people with a foot fetish, and it beats being a shoe salesman.  But proctologist?  Is this the guy who lost the lottery?  Or is he the last one in his class?  Did he get there late and nothing else was left?  Does anybody really go into medical school thinking "I want to specialize in looking up people's asses all day every day for the rest of my life!".  Now some of us end up in that virtual position. (makes me think of my previous job (I love the one I have now) because there were a lot of people there who actually seemed to spend every day with their heads up their asses).  Some jobs are about as much fun as being up someones butt.  But really choosing this?

Granted it is an effective screening and preventative for colon cancer, and I can see any doctor wanting to help prevent cancer in their patients.  But sticking a camera up peoples butts and then watching it on TV (and does your colon look ten pounds bigger on TV?) just doesn't seem to be the best career option.  Now honestly I haven't even met the doctor yet, and I assume that she (which is actually worse, having a man or woman look up your butt) is very smart and competent, and did great on all her exams in medical school.  And it is a "Digestive" specialty center - so she probably gets to look down peoples throats on occasion as well, which can make it better.

A few years ago, my wife had to go in for an Upper and Lower GI screening - which is putting cameras down your throat and up your butt.  I told her to make sure they did the Upper GI FIRST, and you don't want to piss off that doctor!  Make them mad and when you wake up they'll ask how it tasted smartass!  (Oh, and you know what the difference is between and Oral and Anal thermometer?  The taste!).

So I'm not really worried, but I just had to get some of these jokes out.   And I figure I don't ALWAYS have to bitch here.  (I actually started a happy blog about my gaming hobby (not gambling, or video games - but actual physical games you have to have another person to play with, most involve miniatures.  Because it's all fun and games Until Somebody Loses An Eye.

Getting Cranky in my old age

Maybe this is a better forum for me to rant a bit.  Not that anyone will read it (because who reads a blog that is updated only once a year?).  But at least here when I actually research an opinion it can't be deleted for being too controversial where I had posted it.

I find that I don't tend to write (at all) when I'm in a good mood - happiness is just not much of a muse for me.  When I'm not however, then I get in the mood to rant and rave and become a Tubthumper, and it seems like there is a lot of things that are just pissing me off right now.

I don't want to repeat my facebook post, nor try to recreate the deleted responses here.  But they did make me think (which as my wife will attest to is a VERY dangerous thing).

Whatever happened to the right in our society to be wrong?  I don't mean the right to believe in something that is incorrect.  Unfortunately that is being upheld constantly these days - and even worse being validated by sheer force of will, all evidence and scientific rigor be damned.  No, I mean that we have some how lost the ability to actually be told and accept that we are wrong.

There is no greater learning experience than making a mistake and correcting it.  It is said that wisdom is the ability to make good decisions, and you gain wisdom by making bad decisions.  However you can't correct and learn from (thus gaining wisdom) a bad decision if everyone around you is so busy trying to pump up your self esteem (which cannot be given, but must be earned) that you don't ever see that it is wrong.

The idea that every opinion is valid is in itself an invalid premise, but is being promoted more and more.  Along with this is the notion that we have to respect other peoples beliefs, even if we disagree with them.  I call BULLSHIT on this.  You need to respect people yes.  But you do not need to respect their beliefs, especially when they are flat out wrong.

Children will NEVER learn if they are never corrected when they make a mistake.  If you don't tell little Johnny that when he wrote that 2 + 2 = 3 he was wrong, and the correct answer is 4, he will never learn basic math and eventually grow up to be a budget analyst for the federal government, completely unable to see the basic fact that you cannot balance a budget if you spend more money than you take in.  If you never correct the teenage Jane when she doesn't know the difference between correlation and causation so that she believes because everyone wears coats in the winter (correlation) that by wearing coats, the temperature goes down (causation), she may grow up to be an actress who spouts off absolute uniformed crap from a discredited and debunked fraud on a national stage and pushes a movement that ends up with hundreds of children in the hospital with completely preventable illnesses, and some of these unfortunate kids end up dead.

Not all ideas or beliefs are valid.  The universe DOES NOT revolve around the earth, no matter how much you might believe it does because you think you are the center of all creation.  The earth is not flat, nor is it hollow.  There is no bearded omniscient, omnipotent being living in the sky created everything in six days, and then created it again in a DIFFERENT ORDER in the next chapter of your book, and both of these creations have the earth as the center of existence.  Sorry, but there are no pixies, dragons, elves or vampires (and I for one really wish there were dragons - just so they could eat some of these idiots out there).  People do NOT bend spoons with their minds, magicians do NOT saw their assistants in half, and psychics cannot see the future.

We need to go back to a mindset where you can tell someone they are wrong.  We need to stop this insanity of accepting every inane utterance that comes out of peoples mouths as fact.  Even more so, we need to quickly abandon the idea that there are equal sides to every story, and just because SCIENCE states something doesn't mean that alternates aren't valid.  Guess what - THEY AREN'T VALID.  Neil DeGrasse Tyson made a wonderful quote on Real Time with Bill Maher: "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it".

It is ok to be wrong, provided that you do not refuse to acknowledge when presented with the facts that show you are wrong.  What is not ok is to fight against the facts, insisting that your opinion is correct against all the evidence that shows it is not, and refusing to correct yourself.  Then even worse, spreading your incorrect beliefs and be offended when rational people point out that you are wrong.  Accept that perhaps you are not the omniscient being you think you might be on a given subject - take a look at what the REAL experts in a field have to say about it, and change your mind.  And in doing so, gain at least a tiny bit of wisdom, which this world is in serious need of right now.

Christmas Letter 2014

November 26th, 2014

Friends, Relatives, Countrymen, Citizens, In-laws, Out-laws, documented, undocumented, legal, illegal and you, yes, you, there in the corner, hiding out on the mailing list pretending like we don’t notice, with Mike thinking “this is Diane’s friend”, and Diane thinking “this is one of the kids friends” and the Kids thinking “not another Christmas letter, we barely know any of these people” and Scout not caring who you are as long as you scratch his butt;

Once again it is time to greet you from the untamed wilds of Ohio, where men are men, women are women, and the Buckeyes try to pretend they are actual “amateur” athletes.  It has been another year, so come on in and enjoy the madness that is the Carter Clan!

As a family things seem to actually keep getting quieter around the house, what with the kids finally being shoved out of the nest, leaving us to turn the entire house into one big “naked” room.  Because we all know you wanted that image in your head at the beginning of the Holiday season.  We did have a big trip to Northern Illinois this summer where we met up with the Fullerton’s for a long weekend of drinking, Cards Against Humanity, drinking, eating, drinking, boating, drinking, Corn Hole (yes, in Ohio they call that bean bag toss game Corn Hole, and it is a big thing.  Now where I grew up corn hole meant something entirely different, because you need yet another image you can’t get out of your mind’s eye) and drinking.  Mike, Diane, Jon, Matt and Erik made the trip, as well as Becky and her beau Eric – and somehow with the name confusion we still managed to keep everyone straight.

Mike continues to fiddle around with those new fangled computer things (it is just a fad, really) during the day and somehow manages to get people to pay him to do it.  Once again his company (The Design Knowledge Company) was awarded one of the Best Places to Work by the Dayton Business Journal, and for the first time by the Dayton Daily News as well.  So he plans to stay there as long he can keep them fooled.  In his spare time he is still playing with “ugly little monsters” as Diane so ‘lovingly’ calls his miniature addiction, but as always, it keeps him out of the girly bars. The home brewing has slowed down a bit, but he still enjoys sharing his concoctions with those brave enough to try them.

Diane has had a mixed year.  On the good side, her health has improved so that she is no longer on oxygen at all, and thus no noisy machines running during the night.  She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia along with the Pulmonary Hypertension, but is responding well and feeling much better.   She did have to make the unfortunate decision to hang up her hat as a Realtor, and though she enjoyed it, she is moving on with her life.  She has taken over the large bedroom on the second floor for her quilting and other crafts, and is actually selling a few items on that internet thingy all the kids are talking about.

Becky continues to be successful up in the frozen north of Minnesota, and took the big plunge to consolidate bills, dogs and closets with her boyfriend Eric.  Diane seems to approve, and Mike hasn’t pulled out the shotgun yet (nor has Eric run screaming into the night after meeting his not-quite-in-laws and the rest of us crazy Carters and Fullertons) so he seems to be a keeper.  Becky did have some minor health issues, but in the end it was just a pain in the butt and she is once again sitting pretty.  Her latest adventure is coaching volleyball for the team that she used to play for when she was younger.

Jon may have actually stumbled into a career (as opposed to just a job) as he was promoted to manager at the call center where he works, with a salary, benefits, paid time off and all the trimmings like adults actually have.  Things didn’t work out with his roommate, so he temporarily moved back with Scout (when he gets on the bed he takes it over, no matter what Jon does) while he is looking for a new apartment.

Katie is still the only one to have reached escape velocity to get away from Ohio, still living in Oregon with her fiancée Sam. Planning for their August wedding continues, and their cats look forward to becoming legitimate and not having to explain the two last names to all their feline friends.  And if they aren’t enough, apparently she has opened up her own frog sanctuary complete with cricket consumables for the new inhabitants.  Katie’s dragon sculptures are starting to gain some traction (don’t you hate when they slide all over your desk) and she did very well with them at their (somewhat) local comic convention this past summer – selling out all she had brought and even gaining some commissions.

Erik is quickly preparing for that which has been long anticipated – graduating from the University of Dayton in May with his degree in Computer Engineering (though we still aren’t sure how those gizmos and thing-a-ma-bobs help him drive a train).  He is also still interning (is that a word?) at Regal Beloit, where after four years his coworkers figure he is there to do more than make copies, and he hopes to make it a permanent job after graduation.  He is still dating Z, whose volleyball team is doing very well, and is off to the big final tournament.

Matt is finding challenges at Miami University (of Ohio) down in Oxford, though he did get an off campus apartment with some friends (and just about anything is better than dorm living).  He is looking into alternatives for his major as he and engineering (what is with these boys and trains anyway?) doesn’t seem to be the best fit.  He has also been promoted to Student Manager for the University food services, where he is a bit too harsh with his employees (as opposed to Jon who is a little too soft with his).

Scout is unfortunately just getting older, slower and bumpier.  At 14 there isn’t much to be done but keep him happy and comfortable (which as ruler of the house he enjoys tremendously), training Diane to lift his royal butt up onto the bed at his request.  He acts just like his younger self when he sees the cats from next door daring to enter his yard – for about five seconds after which he remembers that he can’t run that fast and jumping off the porch really isn’t a good thing anymore.   But he continues to keep his domain varmint free!

2014 was a year of ups and downs, but then that is to be expected of life.  Life isn’t about the destination but about the journey, and may all of you have happiness, success and health to balance out the dips in your road.

May there always be work for your hands to do.   

May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine on your window pane.   

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.        

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

-Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Erik, Katlyn, Matthew and Scout

Christmas Letter 2013

December 05, 2013

Once again it is time to wish a Merry Christmas to all our friends and family, loved ones and acquaintances, and even a few people that never leave our address books even though we no longer even recognize their names (I think that is my ex’s cousins college roommates sister).

Looking at last year’s letter, I laugh because once again Diane is bugging me about writing the letter after Thanksgiving, but this time turkey day came quite a bit later.  Most of the Carter clan is still here in the wild and wooly state of Ohio.   I’m beginning to think that some of these new fads may actually take hold- it seems that the kids I keep yelling at to get off my lawn sure seem to have a lot of new tech toys.

This year has been a bit tough overall.  As most of you know Mom was in a very serious car accident in the spring, and spent nearly a month in the hospital.  She has finally recovered and is feeling good again, especially because she actually found a good lawyer to deal with the bills and other financial aspects, though nothing really makes up for that much time in the hospital and rehab.

For me, I’ve found another way to be busy.  I’m still working at TDKC, which hasn’t been growing as much this year because of all the political games going on in Washington (a big drawback for having the military as most of our business).  I’ve expanded my gaming hobby though, becoming a “pathfinder” for Mantic games – a miniature gaming company based in the UK.  This means I go out and do game demos and run events, and in return get yet more toys to play with!

Diane has had a very rough year.  At the end of last year she went in for a sleep study to help with her sleep apnea, and they became really concerned about her blood oxygen levels.  So much so they put her on oxygen 24/7 (with the exception of when she is just sitting doing nothing), and things have not gotten better.  They did rule out COPD, and while she does have some mild pulmonary hypertension, they now suspect it may be a problem with too much CO2 in her blood.   She had to put her Realtor license in escrow and has actually gone on disability, but really struggles with being very confined.

Becky continues to be a very successful sign language interpreter, working at Communication Services for the Deaf as the Deaf Domestic Violence Advocate, and was awarded “Advocate of the Year” this fall.  She got to attend several conventions, even if Vancouver did make her sick.   Unfortunately she lost her sweet boxer Harlow last winter due to a sudden heart attack.  However she did meet Eric, and as of yesterday has moved in with him and his dog Karma.  They dared to visit us in Ohio for a few days just before Thanksgiving, and he didn’t seem daunted by our crazy family.  To top off her year, she just got a job with benefits as the Dear/Hard of Hearing Project Coordinator for a grant at Cornerstone (as opposed to friends with benefits, which is something completely different).

Jon realized that selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door was not the career he wanted, and finally found a job working at TelePerformance where he does tech support for AT&T wireless, has already received a promotion and is on his way to becoming a manager.  He moved to Fairborn to be close to his job and shares an apartment with a friend he has known for over twenty years.

Katie is still living with Sam in Oregon (even more remote than Ohio, if you can believe that!).  They have a couple of cats, and enjoy going to comic conventions, where her clay figures are a big hit.  They had a bit of a rough time with getting their car broken into this spring, but managed to get insurance to cover most of the loss and are just continuing to live day to day.

Erik is doing well. He is currently in his fourth year of college, working towards a degree in Computer Engineering.  In addition to school he has been employed at Regal Beloit, a company that designs and manufactures a variety of electrical motors.  He is still on schedule to graduate from the University of Dayton in May of 2015. He is currently the treasurer for the UD Fantasy and Science Fiction Appreciation Club for the 3rd year in a row. The club raises money for Child's Play charity through multiple events throughout the year and has already broken its record from last year.  In addition to all this, he has started dating Isolde Hannan (known just as “Z” to us), a very sweet girl who is also in Computer Engineering and a volleyball player.

Matthew has stated to discover that college classes can be challenging as he continues as a sophomore at Miami University of Ohio working on his Mechanical Engineering degree.  He works on campus in a couple of food service positions, and then when he is home he also has a job at Toys ‘R’ Us, which meant we had an early Thanksgiving dinner this year as he had to work at 4:30.  He enjoys his campus game club, and is planning on finally getting his driver’s license over winter break so that he can actually drive the car he bought from a friend of Diane’s.

Scout has had some problems this year, and is really slowing down as we figure he just turned 13.  He had a nasty flea infection that we figure he got when he killed a feral cat (one of 3 he killed this year).  We finally seem to have that under control and he is no longer constantly scratching and is back to his normal, lazy self.

So even though 2013 was a year full of challenges, we look forward to the next year with much anticipation that things will be better.  We wish all of you happiness, health and success in all you do.

Matthew, Jon, Becky, Eric, Z and Erik May the rains sweep gentle across your fields, May the sun warm the land, May every good seed you have planted bear fruit, And late summer find you standing in fields of plenty.                                                  -Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Erik, Katlyn, Matthew and Scout

A lot of my modelling stuff

This isn't the only place that I choose to share my thoughts - one that I've been updating quite a bit more than here the last year is my Mantic blog - Puggimer's Pathfinder Progress - it started as a place to share pictures of my Mantic Kings of War Abyssal Dwarf army, but has expanded a little to include all the stuff I'm doing as a Mantic Pathfinder.

Most recently talking about the new DeadZone miniatures that I've received to do demos with over a month before the game will arrive.

Some sample pictures:

Check it out

TONS OF FREE STUFF!

Ok, so the Mars Attacks kickstarter was floundering this week. So what did Mantic decide to do - step it up and add a lot more free stuff!

They got it to rebound and these last two days are going to be really exciting. What kind of free stuff? How about free giant Bugs! How about a free Big Stompy Robot with shrink ray, and 5 free shrunken marines! How about a free Supreme Regeant to lead your Martian forces! How about a free Martian army standard bearer! How about a free hardback of all the rules (both the base game and escalation and all the scenarios)!

By my estimate that is over $100 of more free stuff added to the $300 pledges - which were already a great value. Check it out here : http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1744629938/mars-attacks-the-miniatures-game/posts/655831

 And who knows how much more will get added (piles of dead bodies, zombies, more heroes!) before it is done Sunday at 6:59! Don't get left behind!

 (and after that - I promise to quit posting about this kickstarter!)