Inside the twisted mind

Christmas Letter 2011

2011-12-11T18:38:00.003-05:00

Warmest greetings to our family, friends, loved ones, andeven the people that no one is quite sure who added them to the address bookbut we are afraid to remove;

The tree is up, lights are strung, presents have beenordered from the internet, eggnog is in the fridge, and we have even had a fewflakes of that frozen white death coming down. It must be time once again for our annual letter letting everyone knowthat yes, Virginia, we are alive and well in the wilderness of Ohio.

So how did 2011 start? For me it was therapy. Now quitgetting your hopes up, it wasn’t thatkind of therapy. I started out the NewYear getting physical therapy for my hand, because, after our exciting missive lastyear, I had carpal tunnel surgery on my right hand. It went off without any problems, well exceptfor getting the flu on New Year’s Eve and not being able to keep anything(including the pain meds) down or in. The frequent trips to the bathroom were made all that more fun by nothaving the use of my primary hand. J Other than that excitement, I continue towork at The Design Knowledge Company (which has nearly tripled in size since Istarted almost three years ago – a good problem to have); I am working (ok,more like coasting through) my last year as Band Booster Treasurer; I continueto brew beer (with three kegs ready to take to my company Christmas party nextweek!) and play with toy soldiers (winning General’s Choice at the BuckeyeBattles – basically being voted favorite army from nearly a hundredcompetitors). So the geek continues tobe turned up to 11!

Diane started the year celebrating her ~~birthday~~birthMONTH (she somehow managed to extend the celebration for the entire monthof January) with a trip back home to Minnesota. If you are looking for any greater expression of affection I wouldchallenge you to find one like voluntarily going to Minnesota in January. Maybe I do need that kind of therapy after all. Her health has been improving, but then we have figured this is her‘off’ year for hospital stays (I write that with a little bit of dread for2012!). While the real estate marketcontinues to slump, she has been very busy with the Women’s Council of Realtorsand the Dayton Board of Realtors. Shecan’t deny that she has enjoyed some of the travelling that she gets to do forthese (including visiting her brother in California).

Becky continues to love her chosen profession ofInterpreting for the Deaf, still doing freelance work as well as working atSorenson’s and picking up a government job covering for a woman on maternityleave. Burr-d and Lou continue to be theloves of her life, and despite living in the frozen wasteland of Minneapolis stillenjoys her life.

Jon continues to facechallenges in his academic career, and hopes to move back to the Dayton area inthe summer, and eventually get back to school to finish his degree. He continues to sport the chemo-patient look,keeping his head shaved (and he used to tease me about losing my hair). He also has realized that despite being theoldest boy, he is now shorter than both his brothers.

Katlyn continues to live in Albuquerque, celebrating herfirst year out there by moving out of her mother’s apartment. Not too far, as she is a live-in babysitterfor a family she met through her church, just a few doors down in the sameapartment complex. She is enjoyinggetting involved in the local Mormon Church, and may finally be realizing thatat 21 she is, indeed, responsible for her own life.

Erik continues studying Computer Engineering at theUniversity of Dayton. While he and Emilyhave grown apart, they remain friends. InJanuary he will be starting a paid internship at Regal Beloit (formerly A. O.Smith) in Tipp City, the largest NorthAmerican manufacturer of electric motors for residential and commercialapplications (or so their web site says). He is really looking forward to doing this for both the spring and fallsemesters (going back to school in the summer to keep studying).

Matthew has beenenjoying his senior year of high school, with a fall highlight taking 4^thplace at the MSBA Class A Marching Band Championship, the best that WestCarrollton High School has ever done. Heis currently taking drafting courses, and has applied to both the University ofCincinnati and Miami University (in Oxford, Ohio, not Florida) where he isinterested in studying architecture. Heis really looking forward to graduating in May.

Scout continues toprotect us from any varmint that may dare to enter his yard, or even have theaudacity to walk within his sight, including a kitten he caught in the backyard. The only thing keeping him fromconstantly patrolling is his overwhelming need to sleep most of the dayaway. His sighs of exasperation as hemoves from the couch to the floor are sometimes overwhelming.

2011 has been a yearfilled with both good and bad times. Itis hard for Diane and I to imagine this big house being empty in just a fewshort months, and we continue to argue about which room we want to turn intothe ‘naked room’. We hope that everyonehas a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year filled with love and joy forall.

May the blessing of light be on you –

light without and light within.

May the blessed sunlight shine on you

and warm your heart

till it glows like a great peat fire.

Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Erik, Katlyn, Matthewand Scout

Occupy Wall Street - explained

2011-12-11T14:18:00.001-05:00

A great article by Marybeth Hicks.

Call it an occupational hazard, but I can't look at the Occupy Wall Street protesters without thinking, "Who parented these people?"

As a culture columnist, I've commented on the social and political ramifications of the "movement" - now known as "OWS" - whose fairyland agenda can be summarized by one of their placards: "Everything for everybody."

Thanks to their pipe-dream platform, it's clear there are people with serious designs on "transformational" change in America who are using the protesters like bedsprings in a brothel.

Yet it's not my role as a commentator that prompts my parenting question, but rather the fact that I'm the mother of four teens and young adults. There are some crucial life lessons that the protesters' moms clearly have not passed along.

Here, then, are five things the OWS protesters' mothers should have taught their children but obviously didn't, so I will:

* Life isn't fair. The concept of justice - that everyone should be treated fairly - is a worthy and worthwhile moral imperative on which our nation was founded. But justice and economic equality are not the same. Or, as Mick Jagger said, "You can't always get what you want."

No matter how you try to "level the playing field," some people have better luck, skills, talents or connections that land them in better places. Some seem to have all the advantages in life but squander them, others play the modest hand they're dealt and make up the difference in hard work and perseverance, and some find jobs on Wall Street and eventually buy houses in the Hamptons . Is it fair? Stupid question.

* Nothing is "free." Protesting with signs that seek "free" college degrees and "free" health care make you look like idiots, because colleges and hospitals don't operate on rainbows and sunshine. There is no magic money machine to tap for your meandering educational careers and "slow paths" to adulthood, and the 53 percent of taxpaying Americans owe you neither a degree nor an annual physical.

While I'm pointing out this obvious fact, here are a few other things that are not free: overtime for police officers and municipal workers, trash hauling, repairs to fixtures and property, condoms, Band-Aids and the food that inexplicably appears on the tables in your makeshift protest kitchens. Real people with real dollars are underwriting your civic temper tantrum.

* Your word is your bond. When you demonstrate to eliminate student loan debt, you are advocating precisely the lack of integrity you decry in others. Loans are made based on solemn promises to repay them. No one forces you to borrow money; you are free to choose educational pursuits that don't require loans, or to seek technical or vocational training that allows you to support yourself and your ongoing educational goals. Also, for the record, being a college student is not a state of victimization. It's a privilege that billions of young people around the globe would die for - literally.

* A protest is not a party. On Saturday in New York , while making a mad dash from my cab to the door of my hotel to avoid you, I saw what isn't evident in the newsreel footage of your demonstrations: Most of you are doing this only for attention and fun. Serious people in a sober pursuit of social and political change don't dance jigs down Sixth Avenue like attendees of a Renaissance festival. You look foolish, you smell gross, you are clearly high and you don't seem to realize that all around you are people who deem you irrelevant.

* There are reasons you haven't found jobs. The truth? Your tattooed necks, gauged ears, facial piercings and dirty dreadlocks are off-putting. Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity isn't a virtue. Occupy reality: Only 4 percent of college graduates are out of work. If you are among that 4 percent, find a mirror and face the problem. It's not them. It's you.

Marybeth Hicks is a weekly columnist for the The Washington Times and editor of Family Events, a weekly e-newsletter and blog site for women from the publishers of Human Events. She is the author of Don't Let the Kids Drink the Kool-Aid: Confronting the Left's Assault on Our Families, Faith, and Freedom (Regnery Publishers, 2011), Bringing up GEEKS: How to Protect Your Kid’s Childhood in a Grow-up-too-fast World (Penguin/Berkley, 2008) and The Perfect World Inside My Minivan–One Mom’s Journey Throu gh the Streets of Suburbia (Faith Publishing, 2006).

Walking thoughts on a nice day

2011-06-13T11:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, it seems to be that extremely rare occurrance here, a nice day. Mid 60's at noon with a small breeze. And the second one in a row - I guess I had better enjoy these few days of actual spring.

Taking a walk at lunch, and going to get my butt kicked at water aerobics again tonight (it must be a good workout if you are sweating while in the pool).

I was down 3 lbs yesterday, but back up this morning. I so hate the variable nature of the human body. But I have managed to hit the gym 15 of the last 16 days, so that is good.

Ok, enough looking at my phone, time to enjoy the sunshine for once.

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it

2011-06-08T13:16:00.002-05:00

I think it is harder being fat in the summer, because you are always just a big ball of sweat. Of course it isn't actually summer yet, just hitting over 90 outside with the humidity making it feel like 98, and still going up. Of course the air conditioning in my van is still broken, so it makes for a nice, toasty evening commute home.

They can't seem to get the AC balanced at the office either - my office is a bit too warm, however I did find that the vent was partially covered (from back two years ago when it used to get way too cold - go figure). Maybe it will get better now.

At least the boss went out and bought ice cream for everybody - a nice, fattening, break.

Weight - again

2011-06-01T14:01:00.003-05:00

Fat. I'm fat. I have to admit that first before I can do anything about it, and I am trying to do something about it.

This feels like deja vu a bit, or another glitch in the matrix. Oh yeah, maybe because I was here before : http://puggimer.blogspot.com/2006/09/weight.html

What is worse is that this time I'm not only fat, but also a failure. Why - because at one time I wasn't fat : http://puggimer.blogspot.com/2007/10/he-shoots-he-scores.html . I hit my weight and BMI goals, and finished maintenance on Weight Watchers to achieve lifetime status.

So what happened? I said I was going to keep it off, and obviously did not.

Part of it was support. At my goal weight I didn't really have any. In fact I had a lot of negative feedback about it - people saying that I actually looked sick and gaunt. I had some people asking Diane if I had cancer. Nice way to be encouraged.

I also was so tired of watching everything that went into my mouth and counting points.

I let it slip, but when it started to slip I paid attention, and got started back with weight watchers at work. Lost a couple of pounds there, back towards where I wanted to be. I admitted that I didn't need to be at the perfect weight (and my doctor even says that the BMI range may not fit me right - he is thinking around 200 and I agree).

But I was starting to watch it again, and then lost my job. That was good in a way, because for at least the first few weeks I was so depressed I wasn't eating :-). Unfortunately that couldn't last, and I got a job, but it was in Detroit, so I was eating out Sunday night through Friday night. Plus a lot of beer at the hotel bar for the first half of the contract (until I moved to a cheaper hotel). I tried to work out a bit after work each night, and was doing ok.

Then I got this job. A great job. But no workout facility (yes, that spoiled me). And I was tired of making my lunch - that gets boring having the same stuff after a few years, even if you know exactly the points for it. Then it just went. Since I started here I've put on almost as much as I lost before - such that I am bigger than I was before I started last time five years ago.

So I'm fat and a failure. But once more I am trying again, and I figure one way to help was I held myself accountable here, and will do it again.

I weigh 275. I need to get down to at least 200, but probably not to 169 again. Diane and I have joined LA Fitness to work out - they have one near her work and near mine, so I am starting to go work out at lunch again. Not quite as convenient as being in the building, but still only a few minutes away.

We started on Saturday, and I did strength training (i.e. weights) again for the first time in over three years on Monday. And that means, of course, that I hurt. I hurt all over, but especially in my abs, my thighs, my upper arms and across my chest. And it will be time to do it (weights) again tomorrow. oh boy.

I don't know if I will do weight watchers again or not, though it could work to work out after work on Wednesdays then head to a meeting again - that always felt like I was working the system and not being quite honest (though you can't work the system for 70+ lbs, can you?)

However going back to my old meeting makes me feel like an even bigger failure. Probably time to just man up and it - the accountability helps even if the support doesn't feel like it sometimes.

Influences, pt 1

2011-05-16T14:03:00.003-05:00

Today marks 21 years since Jim Henson died. I couldn't help but think, while I took my walk at lunch, about him and how, while I never knew him, how much he influenced me growing up. So since I don't have anything to complain about at work, I thought I would take a bit and just go over some of the influences in my life.

It is interesting to me how there are people who are extremely significant to the process of becoming who it is that you are, yet you have never met them. Through their work they influence you in so many ways, and yet as important as they are to you, they could never be called friends.

Jim Henson - well he got this post started, so I'll start with him. The muppets were just always there growing up, first on Sesame Street, then with The muppet show - I looked forward to it every week. Then to see him go beyond learning and comedy with Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. It was like a part of my childhood died with him.

Mel Blanc - the voice of Bugs Bunny and so many other Looney Tunes characters. Even though he may not have been the guiding force behind the humor and irreverence of the old Warner brothers cartoons, he was their voice and their soul.

Alan Parsons - along with Eric Woolfsons created the Alan Parsons Project - and since discovering his music back in 1980 with "Time" off the album "Games People Play" his music was a major factor in keeping me sane through high school and college. I can't remember how many times I would come home after a stressful day, put on one of their tapes and lay back with my headphones and let the melodies and lyrics just float me away from my troubles.

Douglas R Hofstadter - I don't read much any more, but back in high school and college I read everything I could find. One of my college professors recommended I read "Godel, Escher, Bach" for a project I was working on, and I had to special order it because in my small hometown no one carried it (we had no chain bookstores). I came in over spring break, and my life was never the same. While I have read several books more than once, I have read this one at least six or seven times, each time gaining more and more from it. From the way music, math and art are tied together to the pure exploration of thought and what it means to think, this book has inspired so much of who I am now. Not light reading by any means, I still find myself picking it up again every few years, if for nothing else than to marvel at the dialogs.

Isaac Asimov - I must have been only in Junior High, if that old, when a colleague of father's lent me a copy of "I Robot". It grabbed me like no book before - the stories of robots and other planets - I had never read anything like it. It was the first science fiction I ever read, and opened me up to so much joy since then.

Stephen R Donaldson - The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant were such massive work, building a fantasy world that still today, after over thirty years is unlike any other I have ever found, so rich, vibrant. The anti-hero Thomas Covenant was one of the first characters in a book that made me want to reach into the pages. When I discovered that he was writing four new books a few years ago I was elated - and I eagerly await the final installment.

JRR Tolkien - It took me three tries to get through The Fellowship of the Ring - and now I've read it several times. Finally seeing The Lord of the Rings on the big screen a few years ago brought back so much of my childhood joy in getting lost in another world.

Brian W. Kernighan, Dennis M. Ritchie and Rob Pike - Not just for 'C' - for which I owe them the first half of my career, but also for their excellent writing on Unix, and programming in general. I still refer to "The Practice of Programming" as a text on how to write code correctly, regardless of what language you are writing in.

These are just some of the stronger influences, but some of the people who helped to shape me into the man I am today, for which I will always be grateful.

Zombie Awareness Month

2011-05-02T12:19:00.001-05:00

To prepare for Zombie Awareness Month and subsequently the Zombie Apocalypse, it's important to have these items at arms length:   1) A cricket bat. The reason: you know you're gonna run out of bullets.  Also, an actual gun is completely different from a PS3 controller used for Black Ops.   2) An MP3 player full of Queen music. "Don't Stop Me Now" has to be one of the songs!   3) A box of twinkies. They stay preserved forever  4) An assortment of plants that have various fighting abilities (Plants vs Zombies...we figured that not everyone would get this).   Other tips:  1) Get Bill Murray. No look alikes will count.   2) Avoid anyone with the T-virus   3) Destroy the staircase. Zombie's can't climb!!   The most important thing of all is to ALWAYS BE AWARE OF THE LOCATION OF YOUR ZOMBIE!!

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE

2011-04-25T10:20:00.002-05:00

(To give credit where due, this was sent to me by my wife, but I had to share).

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in

Libya

and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in

France

are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed

France

's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy

has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia

, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be all right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese--

Only a few days early

2011-03-18T11:25:00.001-05:00

With spring officially only a few more days away, it seems to finally be acting like it. So time to exchange sweaters for alergies. But at least it is pleasant enough to resume walking at lunch, so time to think and actually update my blog.

Not that I can actually think of anything to write today.

This month can't end soon enough

2011-02-28T19:48:00.002-05:00

Just a few more hours, and then this stupid February will be over and done with for good. I have to say it has been a pretty miserable month.

I'm afraid that as much as I tried to not let it, my SAD has most likely cropped up yet again. Of course by the time I realize and/or admit that it is back, it is too late to do much about it because it will naturally be going away before any meds can affect it. I've noticed it the most the past couple of weeks, and feel a bit frustrated about it.

I'm sick of winter, the snow, the cold, the ice, and the dark. And being grey and wet outside isn't really any better. Slipping on the icy steps last week as I was warning my son that they were slick and falling on my ass doesn't do much to help my mood either.

I need to get out and at least walk some - as well as actually start a new, real exercise program and diet. I haven't gotten it turned on in my head just yet, but it is a lot closer, and I'm getting to the point that I simply can't stand to be in my own body anymore - huffing and wheezing over every flight of stairs and straining just to bend down, tie my shoes or pick up something off the floor.

While the operation in December eliminated the numbness and burning in my hand, it is still sore and that frustrates me, and the scar is right where I rest my hand when I use the computer mouse, and that is uncomfortable.

So just venting a little, before crawling back in my cave as I wait for this damnable winter to end for good.

Cincy Beer Festival

2011-02-13T00:10:00.002-05:00

So I thought I would write up a bit of a review of the Cincinnati Beer Fest that we attended tonight. Understand, I'm not beer expert nor professional reviewer, just a person who likes craft beer and brews a few of my own. I have very little to compare it against (all of one other event, the Miami Valley BeerFest last October).

Promotions before hand were good. While we don't get the Cincinnati Citybeat paper up here in Dayton, I was able to find it on the web ahead of time, and it was a nice supplement. I bought the VIP tickets before Christmas when they were on sale, and were a good deal ($30 for VIP tickets).

It was easy to find, and parking was adequate in a lot across the street for $10 (event price).

We enter the convention center, and the organization seems a bit weak. There are no signs at all for Designated Driver tickets (which were not available beforehand, which makes sense to me).

There were enough people showing up early on Saturday that they actually opened for VIP tickets just after 6 instead of 6:30. However Diane had to walk all the way back to the front of the convention center to stand in other lines to pay her $10 as a DD - for which she got admission and two free bottles of water. I much, much preferred the MVBF where the DD simply paid as they entered, and got a coupon for a glass as they left. DD's here got no glass, and pretty much nothing for their $10. Sorry, saying they got admission into a beer tasting event where they would not be tasting beer was not worth the $10.

The hall had vendors all around the outside and in the middle, and then a few tables all the way in the back. I immediately noticed there was no list of vendors or beers. It took me quite some time to find copies of the newspaper insert, and while a great promotional tool, it was not updated to reflect the actual vendors and beers. Several beers in the listing were not there, and others that were were not in the listing. Some simply had "to be announced", which was even more frustrating. We found several other people also looking for a guide.

The food seemed ok, if a little overpriced. For an event like this, I think the best is to have little, easy finger type food available. I thought that the MVBF with the 3/$1 eggrolls from Thai/9 and the $1 ribs were great (though Chappy's booth there was fairly poor - serving a $6 pulled pork sandwich that was half the size it should have been for the price). Montgomery Inn's pulled pork sandwich was good, their chips w/ warm BBQ sauce were great, and the big soft pretzels (with warm butter on them) were really good. The hamburgers were making me drool every time I walked by, though they still seemed to be regular concessions burgers - but it could have been the beer making me hungry.

For the first couple hours it was really great - you could walk up and get your samples, and there was enough seating. Then the general admission let in, and a fun event went to a huge, crowded madhouse. The floor was simply packed with people - you could barely move. People would get a sample, and because it was so crowded were unable to move from the front of the table to let others in, so you felt like you were always fighting through crowds and pushing in front of others to get a sample.

Some of them did have actual lines - though it was very difficult to tell where the line was as compared to the heaving mass of bodies in the main area just milling around and talking. Back at our table (which we wanted because Diane, despite the new knee, still can't stand around for 4-5 hours) - it was a near fight to keep our chairs, as there simple weren't enough for this huge mass of humanity.

I started getting very frustrated. I would fight my way through the heaving throng, only to get to a booth that did no have the beer that I wanted to try because the newspaper supplement was out of date, only to have to turn around and fight my way back to our table. What started out very enjoyable was becoming less and less so.

We met some fun people and had some good conversations over some excellent beer samples. I liked that there were also some other vendors and organizations there aside from the beer vendors - I want to follow up with both the American Homebrew Association and BeerArmy.com.

However, in the end we left about an hour before it closed. I was getting more and more frustrated trying to find samples I wanted, and the gradual smell of where some one had vomited began to fill the area we were sitting in, so I knew it was time to go.

Overall I was not happy. While this is a bigger venue than in the past, it seems that instead of making it better and spreading it out, they just added more and more people. For the crowd that was there, I felt they should have opened the adjoining exhibit hall as well. The lack of seating was frustrating, both for us and all the people we saw later needing seats simple to be able to eat a sandwich. We had a much better time at MVBF - simply because it was less crowded and had adequate seating. At this point while we really look forward to both AleFest and MV BeerFest this year, we are not so excited about heading back to Cincy BeerFest in 2012.

I do not support Heart Disease or Breast Cancer!

2011-02-04T09:01:00.002-05:00

Not wearing red today. I've heard that today is wear red to support heart disease in women. Personally I think this is a bad thing, so I am not wearing red as an act against Heart Disease in Women. It is a bad thing and should not be supported, instead we should support the women against heart disease.

Just like all those pink ribbons supporting breast cancer. We should be protesting against such an awful disease not supporting it!

How about we set up a day to actually support the people who have diseases, and those working for the cure, instead of supporting the diseases?

Or even better, how about a day to support the proper use of English to express what it is we mean! What a concept! And then maybe instead of making a facebook update about it, or wearing a ribbon or shirt, you could actually go out and volunteer and really help someone, or donate to a cause. And while I'm a big, big fan of Boobie Wednesday (because I enjoy pictures of women's breast just as much as the next heterosexual man), does changing your avatar for a day or posting a facebook status really do anything?

We need a lot less people saying they support something, and a lot more of people actually doing the support of a cause, whatever cause it may be.

Post Op Day 20

2011-01-18T09:46:00.002-05:00

And the brace/splint came off for the last time this morning. Things look very good - they did several strength tests - my grip is about half with the right hand that it is with the left, but the pinch tests are nearly identical.

I got a big ol' glob of green silly putty to do exercises with, and a weird sticky pad to wear over the scar at night to help soften it up (it feels a little 'thick' under the scar right now).

The most surprising thing was no more PT - only the two visits. See the dr. again in two weeks, and I figure that will be it.

unstitched

2011-01-10T16:26:00.002-05:00

So today the stitches came out - three snips, three tugs and gone. The dr. says it looks good, and I'm making good progress. It will take time to build back all the strength in my hand, and I'm still restricted from fully using it for another week (while I have the brace on).

It is nice not having the pain or numbness I had, and I'm looking forward to getting back to some of my hobbies (i.e modeling and painting 'ugly little figures' as my wife calls them).

It is also really nice to be able to type and use the mouse on the computer without it hurting nearly constantly.

The question that remains is the left hand. It is not nearly as bad as the right - there is absolutely no urgency for it at all. The Dr. thinks I should have it done as well, but there is no hurry about it. I'm not so sure, simply because the symptoms are so slight as compared to what I had. It is, honestly, like what my right had been for what - 18 years?. Meaning that occasionally it bothers me at night, on long drives, or mowing the lawn (but then what are teenage boys for if no mowing the lawn). It doesn't normally bother me, and I will go days, if not weeks, between feeling any symptoms in it. The tests did come back with a moderate level, and one important thing is to get it dealt with before there is any nerve damage.

One thing I have to consider though is how much is my weight affecting it? Maybe this is yet another reason why I need to get off my fat ass and get back on a program and get rid of this excess. I did it once, I can do it again.

Physical Therapy

2011-01-04T15:47:00.002-05:00

Well, not really any therapy yet. But the bandages are now gone (yeah!!!) - just a little piece of gauze and a thin compression sleeve on the stitches, and a new splint that I have to wear for the next two weeks.

The therapist said I had really good range of motion and the stitches looked great. The Dr has put in a drain - basically about a 1/8" wide thin piece of plastic that stuck out either end of the incision to allow any blood or other stuff to drain out - the therapist pulled that as well since it was no longer needed (and it didn't look like much had drained out anyway).

Almost no pain. Need to rub the incision several times a day to limit scarring, and have exercises to do to keep things sliding smoothly (I don't want scar tissue to end up doing the same thing the ligament did, or else I could have to do this all over again.

Personal Terrorist tomorrow

2011-01-03T23:17:00.002-05:00

Or at least that is what Diane calls her Physical Therapist. I'll just be happy to get this huge bandage off my hand (will make typing and writing quite a bit easier).

Today the incision has been a bit sore, and I think it might be a good idea to take some advil or something before the appointment, depending on what they do. I know I will be getting some putty to manipulate to rebuild strength, but other than that...

Of course before then I have to see about getting the insurance straightened out since it has all changed. I don't even know which one covers what part of it any more. But I hope to find that out at work tomorrow.

It has been kind of weird being off for this long (today was our holiday for New Year's), especially with the kids back in school. If I get the left hand done, at least I know I need more than 1 day (though I don't need 6 definitely!) Of course it would have helped had I not had the flu at the same time (but at least I'm efficient!)

Post op day 4

2011-01-02T20:13:00.002-05:00

No pain meds, still a little sore. Still get the sharp, burning feelings when I stretch or move it wrong, often with no idea that it is going to happen.

Stomach flu nearly gone - but still no heat. House is down to 61 right now, with the predicted low tonight of 19. Been keeping the oven on, and venting the dryer inside, plus the one electric radiator going (will move that to the bedroom tonight as it is the coldest room in the house). Doesn't make for comfortable sleeping, especially trying to keep my hand elevated (to I still need to do that?)

One thing I can't do is lift or pull anything - that is where there is absolutely no strength yet. Typing is fine, except for the huge pad of gauze still over my palm that gets in the way. I can touch 3 out of 4 of my fingers now without any discomfort, which I guess is good.

Unfortunately my first therapy was moved to Tuesday from tomorrow, which is one more day of this bandage, but is good in a way. I hope to be able to go into work in Tuesday morning and at least print out something to show the new insurance, since it changed to a different carrier yesterday.

One of the most annoying parts is the bandage itching on my arm - mainly where there is hair there. It will be nice to be able to give my arm and wrist a good rub down to help that once this is gone.

One question in my mind - when do I do the other hand? Not as severe, but still there. I want to work it a bit better around my schedule (such as Diane's birthday trip at the end of the month, and then the Cincinnati BeerFest that I've already got tickets for).

Meds and pain

2011-01-01T12:08:00.002-05:00

It has been interesting, getting the stomach flu while recovering from surgery. A good 24 hours without eating or taking my pain meds, and I think I have figured something out.

Apparently there are two different types of pain to deal with after the surgery. The first, which is what I could deal with but was not going away like I thought it should, was a dull, sore ache when moving or trying to use my hand at all. The meds did not affect that at all.

The second is the actual pain from the incision. That is much more of a sharp, intense, burning (like being cut with a burning knife). The meds made that go away completely - it wasn't until I wasn't taking them (in an attempt to keep my stomach where it belonged) that I began to notice it.

So the meds are working as they should. I wonder if the stitches are stuck to the bandage, because at times it feels like they are pulling (and not always predictable - often the odd movement sets that off).

But I now seem to be able to keep some food down, and everything is getting back to where it should be. I will be very glad on Tuesday to get the bulky bandage off.

post operatum

2010-12-29T22:23:00.002-05:00

I was going to call this post mortem, but then figured that wasn't a good idea after surgery.

Everything went well. The Dr was running about an hour late getting there from his morning surgeries, but mine was first once he got there and it took a total of 20 minutes from when I left pre-op to recovery - not enough time for Diane to get lunch.

I have noticed no tingling at all, but my two middle fingers are still a bit numb. The rest of the anesthetic has worn off, and I am probably being a bit too conservative with my pain pills so far even though I have enough to make it through Sunday so I should be good; I have just never been one for wanting to take pain pills.

However I figure take two and head to bed in a bit.

The waiting is the hardest part

2010-12-28T23:10:00.003-05:00

So it is 11:08 pm, 10 hours and 52 minutes before I report to the hospital for a relatively minor operation. I thought it would be funny to tweet earlier:

I just can't take this anymore. Tomorrow it will all be over with. Remember, across is just a plea for help, up and down is serious!

I have to laugh - because apparently lots of people asked my wife about it, but none at all asked me. Ok, so her friends care that I'm about to slit open my wrists, but my friends either get my sense of humor or don't care.

No, I'm not slitting my wrists. It is only the right one, and I'm having a doctor do it. Tomorrow at 10:00 am I check in for "Open Carpal Tunnel Release" surgery - where the doctor slices open my hand and wrist (ok, so only and inch or two) and snips the transverse carpal ligament in order to relieve the pressure on the median nerve and thus eliminate the tingling, numbness, weakness and pain in my right hand. The surgery should only take about half an hour, but I'll have a huge friggin bandage on my hand afterward and won't be able to use it for at least a few days (if for no other reason than there is a huge bandage on it). For reference check out this blog entry I came across : http://laslink.net/jody/2010/01/17/roys-carpal-tunnel-surgery/

My only experience with surgery so far (knock wood) has been a small lump of scar tissue removed from my finger when I was in high school, and my gall bladder removal about 8 years ago, so I'm not really sure how I'll respond afterward, though it does seem to take an awful lot to knock me down (consider that I'm taking 3 days off of work for this, which is the longest amount of consecutive (if not complete) sick time I've taken since the gall bladder surgery)) plus a three day weekend after it (I get January 3rd off since the 1st is a Saturday)).

I'm more worried about making it through the morning since I seem to always feel so dehydrated at night, and I'm not supposed to have anything after midnight - so that is 10+ hours. I remember with my gall bladder once I was on the pain medicine the biggest issues was I was so thirsty until after the surgery (I was even grateful for the barium sludge I had to drink for the tests simply because it was something to swallow).

I want to say that I'm not worried, just already feeling thirsty and wanting to get this over with. I always find it hard to sleep when I have something big and new the next day.

It will be nice to not have the pain, tingling and numbness anymore, and I figure that soon I'll have the left done as well (though it isn't nearly so bad as the right).

We'll see how long it takes to get back to it.

Business model

2010-12-06T13:32:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, especially when it inconviences me, I wonder about some business models.

Take, for example, Panera Bread Company. They offer free wi-fi, so people will come there to use it. I wonder how many people are there however, sipping a latte' for hours. This is assuming, of course, that they have the common courtesy to even buy anything.

I have to wonder however, how much money they are loosing because thse people are taking up all the parking spaces, keeping other paying customers that would just like to get a quick soup and sandwich to go on a cold snowy day from being able to even get in the door.

Maybe it isn't the free wifi. Maybe they are simply so overwhelmingly successful that they don't need my business the last six times I have tried to get lunch from them. But the chinese place seems grateful for my business instead.

Hot and Sour soup and sesame' chicken may not be quite the same as French Onion soup in a bread bowl, but I'm able to actually get in and purchase the later, while after circling the lot with several other cars, I abandoned any hope for the former.

Annual Christmas Letter to Friends

2010-12-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

December 4, 2010

Once again it is time to greet our family, friends, neighbors and whoever it is hiding behind the bushes – come out here now:

As the frozen white death falls from the sky, and the annual tradition of weeding out the broken holiday lights is finally complete, it is time to gather around the image of a fireplace on the DVD player with a cup of eggnog (ok, who drank all the rum?) and share our lives again.

So what has 2010 brought me this year? Beer. Really, what more could a man ask for? My Christmas present from the kids last year was a beer making kit, and I have successfully made five batches now, and am continuing to learn about and enjoy this hobby. Ever since I found a great deal on a kegerator from one of Diane’s clients I have been hoping to get it set up so I can have my own home brew on tap. Other than brewing and drinking, I continue to work at The Design Knowledge Company and like it a lot. I still am working with the band, and did another successful band camp, and still play with toy soldiers. Yes, I’m a modern Renaissance man!

Diane’s year has not been quite so good, having been in the hospital a couple of times. As she likes to put it, this has been her ‘rebuilding’ decade. And she has been rebuilt. I never thought I would be married to a cyborg, but she know has a completely new titanium knee, and is finally able to walk without pain for the first time in many years. The Real Estate market is still down though we hope it begins to recover soon. She was elected to be the Vice President of Membership of The Women’s Council of Realtors, and is expecting lots of trips to Columbus for meetings this coming year.

Becky took the big step of quitting her job at Coon Rapids high school to go completely freelance, and has not regretted it at all. While still doing work for Sorenson’s video relay service, she is also interpreting at Le’ Cordon Bleu Academy, and may go full time there soon. She and Lou are still together, and his puppy Burr-d loves her to death. She still lives up in the snowy wilderness of Minneapolis and enjoying her life.

Jon had a bit of a rough year, with the school deciding he needed a little time to get himself together. Luckily he took this to heart, eventually getting two jobs to pay his bills and get back on his feet. He was able to get back in school for the Winter Semester starting in January, and is determined to get his degree (possibly in Business). The biggest thing seems to be his head now, as he decided that heredity wasn’t working fast enough, and shaved his head completely bald!

Katie has also had a frustrating year. The concepts of going to school, getting a job, and being responsible for herself just didn’t seem to be coming together for her. With a bit of tough love I told her that as once her current lease was up at the end of November, I would no longer pay ANY of her bills for her. This finally got some action out of her, though not quite what I expected. The weekend after Thanksgiving she was packed and on a bus to Albuquerque, where she is now living with her mother and starting a new life.

Erik graduated 7^th in his class from West Carrollton High School, and in the fall started at the University of Dayton in the school of Engineering, studying Computer Engineering. He is sharing a dorm room with Zac Reed, one of his best friends for over 10 years. He and Emily are still dating, and he seems to really be enjoying the change to college life.

Matthew is a junior this year at WCHS and still in the marching band, having loads of fun playing baritone. Finally reaching 16, he traded in his glasses for contact lenses (like all the rest of the kids) but refuses to admit how much he and Erik look alike. While he is still in scouts (only needing his project to complete his Eagle), other things are starting to distract him, such as his girlfriend Jordan.

Scout was quite upset when the kegerator required his cage to be moved, and took well over a month to go back into again. However he took it like a real trooper, and refused to let it interfere with his busy sleep schedule. While starting to slow down a little bit, he is not looking to relinquish his spot on the couch any time soon.

2010 has been, as always, both a good and a bad year. Even though it is starting to get quieter in the house with only one kid left, we know that the bonds of family will always keeps us close. As always, we wish you and yours the very best during this season, and throughout the coming year.

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Katlyn, Erik, Matthew and Scout

Just some quick whining to get it out of my system

2010-12-01T08:38:00.000-05:00

Things really are not bad. I have a great wife, a fantastic job for a great company, and we are really doing OK. But, in the immortal words of Joe Walsh "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."

So just time to fire off some random bitches to get them out of my system.

First winter. I know it is part of the natural cycle and all of that, but even with the official start to winter still three weeks away I am already over it. It was snowing (ok, just flurries, not accumulation) this morning on the way to work. I think I would be perfectly happy to NEVER see snow again. Unfortunately the only way to get that is to then have ungodly hot summers, and I don't like that either. Or wind. Or rain. In fact I'm just done with this whole weather concept all together.

Add to that the fact that it is pretty much dark when I leave for work and when I get home. My hibernation instinct is kicking in - I just don't want to do much in the dark but curl up into a ball and try to stay warm.

Next is construction. Or is it destruction. Whatever, it is the constant banging and noise from the other side of the wall as they remodel that space for us to expand into. And it is only going to get worse, because once they actually open up the new hallway it is going to be right outside my door. Not 10 feet down the hall, not across the way. My desk faces the door, and that wall with the door is going to be the wall of the new hallway. The new opening will be about where the light switch is.

I've mentioned this one before, but it still irks me. The human body is simply very poorly designed. The fact that for some stupid reason my fat thinks that it still needs to save more fat on top of the huge amount of fat that it already has makes not sense. And that it won't burn the fat first either - simply the stupidest piece of engineering ever.

It is the holiday season - and god do I hate the crowds.

At least the elections are over, so we don't have to hear the constant political commercials with the politicians all lying to us about how they are not going to screw us over. Now we just have to wait to see the true extent of the screwage that we have elected for ourselves THIS time.

And finally, people with stupid personal blogs who don't update them, and then when they do don't have anything even remotely interesting or funny to say, just a list of complaints without any solutions. What a bunch of losers.

Stepping up

2010-10-12T10:47:00.000-05:00

What ever happened to personal responsibility in our society? To people admitting that they, and no one else, is responsible for how they act.

It doesn't matter one bit that it isn't your fault. I don't care who said something that hurt your precious feelings. The world isn't waiting to kiss it and make everything better.

When you make a commitment you follow through, and if you can't you find a replacement.

During my divorce, the ex filed a (trumped up) restraing order against me. I was the coach of my son's OM team, and now could be within 100 feet of him. Did I just walk away? No, I found someone to replace me.

I've made mistakes, but that did not mean I did not have to keep my committment. Again during my divorce, I coluld have walked away from my responsibilities; instead I fought tooth and. Nail for custody of my four kids. Were the years of being a single father easy? Not at all, but I did not give up.

Keep your commitments. Follow through. Step up and be a man.

A new bra

2010-09-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

After the news conference, announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the crap out of him.

(ok, I actually got this as an email from my wife, and I don't know where it originated. Still funny)

Feeling old

2010-09-10T10:47:00.001-05:00

A colleague of mine has been bringing her newborn into the office about once a week for everyone to see (she still has close to a month more vacation / maternity leave ). My own youngest turned 16 yesterday. My oldest turns 26 in November.

It just got me thinking a bit. My kids are starting to become adults one by one, and how many more years are there before I become a grandparent? Still a few away, but definitely out there.

I look back at when I last held, fed, bathed and cared for a baby, and I'm a bit surprised at how much I do not miss it. I like being a father, but as my kids are leaving home, it seems that the being with kids part is going with them.

A lot of the pelople I interact with are parents of young kids, and it is really surprising me that while I'm happy for them, I don't need to share it. I don't have any desire to hold Jessica's baby, and honestly most young kids of other parents I know are more annoying than cute.

On the one hand I find that I'm one of the "cool" parents that my kids friends all like (even to the point of soon runnikng yet another Pathfinder game for Matt and his friends), while on the other I don't want to be bothered by a bunch snot nosed rug rats. When did I get this old.

Now get off my lawn!

Intelligent Design - NOT!

2010-09-07T10:50:00.001-05:00

A while back there was some furor over Intelligent Design - with a bunch of people calling it a scientific theory (because they had obviously never looked up the definition of a theory, as opposed to a scientific lawm or even a hypothesis).

The whole idea is rubbish, on so many levels. A classic argument is the eye, which sends images to the optic upside down. Obviously not designed, at least not with any intelligence. Or the classic joke about the placement of human sex organs (i.e. putting a recreation area right next to a toxic waste disposal site).

Lately I'm more concerned with another completely back asswards human design problem. Our bodies are set up so that any excess calories are stored as fat for when we don't get enough. A good idea. But what happens when you don't get enough to eat then? Do we use those same stored calories, that fat that we were saving for a hungry day? Hell no. If you don't eat enough then you hoard the fat, and instead start breaking down muscle. So once food becomes scarce, our bodies make it even more difficult to obtaqin more. And when we get more does it go back to replenishing the muscles it just broke down? Of course not, that would be an intelligent decision. It goes back to storing it as fat.

There is no such thing as intelligent design. If we were designed at all, it was by a commitee of idiots.

Yes, diets make me cranky, you want to make something of it? I'd smack you, but I'm too weak from hunger while my fat belly just seems to grow.

(And you thought I wouldn't find anything to complain about :-) ).

Rule by the minorities

2010-09-02T10:55:00.001-05:00

One thing I have noticed the past few years, and that I have been curious as to when it happened, was the end of majority rule in our society.

It seems that everything is now based on taking care of the minorities - no matter how small they might be. We can't have anything that might adversely effect even the smallest percentage of people, even if it stongly benefits the vast majority.

The main example I remember is an article about new public toilets in NYC. They were from Europe, and were small, self cleaning, and efficient. The problem was that you couldn't fit a wheelchair in them, and when you made it big enough to do so, homeless people ended up moving in and sleeping in them. I believe in equal rights, and giving reasonable access to the handicapped, but in this case it was not possible. And because this small percentage of people could not use them, the city was sued, the project scrapped, and NOBODY got them.

Anlther case - some steakhouses used to have peanuts on the tables. There are some kids with peanut allergies - serious enough to cause hospitalization or death. To me the reasonable solution is, if you are allergic the DON'T GO THERE. But no, in our minority rule society the restaurant instead removes them - taking them from the vast majority who enjoy them for the sake of a small minority.

I won't even get into politics and the current approval ratings for our so called 'leaders'. They don't seem to represent the majority anymore.

To me it seems ridiculous to ever think everybody can have everything. Just because I can't do something should not mean that nobody can. Of course I'm in the minority for believing this, and it is the one case where the minority is ignored - go figure.

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do

2010-08-31T11:38:00.000-05:00

As the classic Joe Walsh song goes, "Life's been good to me." Well maybe not all of the past, but my present is in pretty good shape. I have a great wife that I love very much. I have a fantastic job that makes decent money, and where I get to do new and interesting things, and where everyone is treated with respect. None of my kids are on drugs or in jail (we won't go into school/jobs for some :-) ). I'm not out of debt by a long shot; however I'm not over my head either.

So things are good, and therein lies the problem. I've got little to write about. My old job made me feel like the guy working with monkeys. Horrible, but something to write about. My first marriage was a long period of emotional abuse from which I will always have scars, but it generated great stories.

People just don't appreciate the hard times. It is from these that all stories and lessons in life come. You never heard your parents talk about living a block away fcrom school and walking over when it was mild and 70. Nobody makes a movie about the guy who goes to college, has a few good jobs, a nice wife, raises a family and retires to Florida to fish every day.

Not that I want to have something bad happen, but things going well doesn't make for exciting writing.

Not like the other kids

2010-08-27T11:13:00.001-05:00

Something that I finally realized after forty years is that I don't fit in. I match no demographics, and seem to always be on the far side of any bell curve. This isn't intentional, but it seems to be the way it is.

I never set out to be different; and truthfully it still amazes me that I am. Take politics. I registered as a democrat many years ago, and haven't bothered to change it. However I have voted republican for the past umpteen presidential elections - because as much as I disliked the republican candidates, the democratic ones were worse. I haven't liked a candidate for president in 20 years or more.

I am a fiscal conservative but a social liberal. I believe the smaller the government, the better. I believe in helping people, but only those who are actively helping themselves.

I believe in personal responsibility. That alone seems to set me apart from so many in the US.

More than anything I believe that decisions should be based on rational thought, not emotions. I doesn't matter if my leaders can feel my pain, I want someone who can think about the issues.

It is time to quit trying to make people feel better, and instead make some good, rational decisions.

But that is just my opinion, and I keep finding out that it is the only one.

Still alive, still boring

2010-08-25T11:15:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was the first time all summer I took a walk for lunch, simply because I was working off site where there was no place to get lunch within walking distance. It occurred to me then that I missed the time that I spent thinking when I walked. Not deep thoughts usually; I'm not that profound. But I had missed.

It turns out that with things actually going pretty well lately, it was those walks that gave me any ideas to write even this little bit. So now that I'm back at the office I hope to update more often, even if it is from my new Droid (that replaced my Blackberry) while I walk (like right now).

One of THOSE days

2010-04-21T17:16:00.002-05:00

Yeah, it has been one of those days. To start out I wake up, and my alergies give me a good kick in the groin to get going. Ok, maybe more of a poke in the eye, as my eyes are horribly painful and bloodshot (so much so that Preston makes a pot joke whne I see him and that is five hours later). They at least feel slightly better (not like they are full of sand - thank Zrytec!)

Then I drive in to work, having to stare half the way at the stupid water filled dildo the city of Dayton is erecting on the horizon. Once I get there I see a cop taking notes - it turns out our building was broken into last night, and the other side offices were also broken into. It doesn't look like they got in my side at least, though we are still missing several laptops and ipods at least. To top that off, turns out there is also a registered sex offender working in the building - nice.

But the kicker comes when Diane gets home - and finds that where we were noticing some leakage from the upstairs bathroom into the kitchen - well now we have a hole in the ceiling where the new drywall we had put up two years ago has collapsed - but we can definitely see the drip!

And looking down from the access panel in the upstairs bathroom - you can see the corroded valve, and twisting just right, the kitchen sink down below.

Yeah, one of those days.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

To whomever picked that particular design

2010-04-21T06:55:00.001-05:00

To whomever decided to pick that particular design for the new watertower being erected on Smithville road;

Did you intentionally pick that design, or are you simply over compensating for your own personal shortcomings?

My commute eastbound on US-35 every morning was simply never complete before I was forced to stare at your construction thrusting itself out of the trees, rigidly pushing its way into the empty skyline around it.

It is a tribute to your engineering and architectural acumen to have this monument to your masculinity stand out so highly on its own.

Seriously though, am I the only one who thinks that new watertower looks like a giant penis?

Do you believe pt 3

2010-03-20T18:10:00.001-05:00

This actually ties back to my posts 16 months ago. Tonight I am taking Diane back to see Lisa Williams again - it was her birthday present. This time in Ft Wayne, IN, about 2 1/2 hours away (as opposed to Cincinnati last time)

So going to see a psychic perform. Basically it is "cold readings" - a technique often used to simulate psychic powers. Last time was entertaining - but it doesn't change if I believe or not.

She did a "Meet & Greet" before the show - and the cynic in me can't help but wonder how much information she gets from these for the readings. It was funny, Diane mentioned to her that she had met her before, and she said she didn't remember her name. But for psychic shouldn't she know it?

Like a magicianI'm just going to tey to enjoy thor Diane's sake, knowng that while it may look amazing, none of it is real.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Mutant Marsupials Take Up Arms Against Australian Air Force

2010-02-18T08:13:00.002-05:00

So I'm sitting here trying to think of something witty to set as my status this morning and get my brain kickstarted, when I receive the following email from a colleague to do that very thing. The amazing part is it is both funny and relevant to work - you don't see that much.

Enjoy
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reuse of some object-oriented code has caused tactical headaches for
Australia's armed forces.
As virtual reality simulators assume larger roles in helicopter combat
training, programmers have gone to great lengths to increase the realism of
their scenarios, including detailed landscapes and - in the case of the
Northern Territory's Operation Phoenix - herds of kangaroo's (since
disturbed animals might well give away a helicopter's position).

The head of the Defense Science & Technology Organizations Land
Operations/Simulation division reportedly instructed Developers to model the
local marsupials' movements and reactions to helicopters. Being efficient
programmers They just re-appropriated some code originally used to model
infantry detachment reactions under the same stimuli, changed the mapped
icon from a soldier to a kangaroo, and increased the figures' speed of
movement.

Eager to demonstrate their flying skills for some visiting American pilots,
the hotshot Aussies "buzzed"
the virtual kangaroos in low flight during a simulation. The kangaroos
scattered, as predicted, and the visiting Americans nodded appreciatively.
then did a double-take as the kangaroos reappeared from behind a hill and
launched a barrage of Stinger missiles as the hapless helicopter.
(Apparently, the programmers had forgotten to remove that part of the
infantry coding.)

The lesson?

Objects are defined with certain attributes, and any new object defined in
terms of an old one inherits all the attributes.
The embarrassed programmers had learned to be careful when reusing
object-oriented code, and the Yanks left With a new found respect for
Australian wildlife..

Simulator supervisors report that pilots from that point onward have
strictly avoided kangaroos, just as they were meant to.

Winners don't have to worry about things like sportsmanship

2010-01-16T19:36:00.001-05:00

A colleague of my wife posted the title as his facebook status this morning. I immediately wanted to comment, however my Crackberry doesn't have an app that allows me to, at least not correctly. Any normal person would thus just blow it off and forget about it - but then if you have reading this for any time at all you reallize that I am far from normal; that plus twenty minutes to wait before the presentations start means that I'm phoning this one in.

I really don't think of myself as a liberal - especially compared to those in public office. And while I may be a registered Democrat, it is more because I see the Republicans as much evil, while the Democrats are just ignorant. But when I saw this all the liberal alarms went shrieking off in my head.

This statement translates to the win at all costs mentality in my mind. Did you make an illegal move that injured another player - no problem if you win! Did you lie, cheat or steal to suceed? Good for you because you suceeded! Screw them all to get ahead. It isn't personal after all, it is just business.

With this attitude, we should be applauding the Kenneth Lay's of the world - look at all the money they made after all. Oh, an they managed to ruin lives doing that? Big deal.

Sportsmanship, which in life translates to moral character, is so much more important than winning. Doing what is right, even when no one looking, is truly what is important in life. Sportsmanship is not for losers, it is for everyone. It does not prevent you from winning, but it enhances the win.

In my professional life, I have worked for a company whose owner is solely dedicated to his own personal success, with no regard for his employees nor his customers. I have also worked for a company that truly embodies the idea that the employees are the essence of the company. The first is struggling, losing customers and firing employees, while the second is growing and hiring.

In the end we all die with nothing, leaving behind only the relastionships we have made, and how we have influenced the people we have encountered. All the money in the world, all the victories in sports, aren't going to buy one more breath when it is your time to go.

Me - I'd rather leave behind memories of how I was kind and fair and just, even if that means I didn't win at business or sports or games.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I Hate My Job

2009-12-21T07:57:00.003-05:00

Ok. I don't hate my job. In fact, I really like it. Maybe even like-like it. But in a manly way of course.
However, I did find this over at Murder Burger, a site for a hamburger restaurant in New Zealand, that I just had to share it. Enjoy, and if you are ever in Aukland - this sounds like a great place for a hamburger.

I Hate my Job
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Christmas Letter 2009

2009-12-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

Hello to all our friends, neighbors, family, acquaintances (and just who are some of these people anyway?):

Tide and time wait for no man, nor for any family. The Ohio branch of the Carter clan is still enjoying the good life in the paradise here, luxuriating in the beautiful . . . ok I almost got through that with a straight face. While we still aren’t in the big city, life in the suburbs continues on. This has been a year of changes, but then what year hasn’t.

The biggest change since our last annual letter is, wait for it, . . . Employment! And that is always a good change. The good news is that after two months of looking, I found a contract position with Computer Sciences Corporation. The bad news is it was in Detroit. A short term contract over the holidays turned into a three month engagement, and by the time I completed it I knew could drive I-75 in my sleep (and sometimes did ? ). Fortunately, after only a single week I was able to land a permanent position with The Design Knowledge Company in Fairborn – a difference of only 1200% in commute time (from four hours to 20 minutes). It is a strong, growing company and I am really enjoying working at a place that respects and appreciates its employees. In what little spare time I’ve had this year I chaperoned band camp again, and have continued to play games and win a few small awards.

Diane’s year has not been quite so strong. As is in the news, the Real Estate market is not the best place to be right now. The highlight for her (and for me) was her company’s annual convention – which was held on a Caribbean cruise in February. Diane continues to write the monthly band booster newsletter, as well as a monthly Women’s Council of Realtors newsletter (yet I am still the one that has to write the family letter every year – go figure!).

Becky is doing well for being almost two years out of college. She still works full time as a sign language interpreter at a high school, as well as doing some freelance interpreting, and interpreting through a video relay service. Lou got a puppy this summer and Becky is in love with her . . . and Lou too. She is still living in Minneapolis and having fun.

Jon is in his fourth year at Bowling Green State University, still majoring in Psychology with an art minor. He has changed apartments, and still continues to work for food services on campus. He had a bit of a scare this fall when his hand slipped into a vat of hot oil while demonstrating how not to clean the fryer, but it turned out not to be as bad as he first thought, and has completely healed up with no lasting effects.

Katie graduated from high school in May, and on her 19th birthday moved into her own apartment. She had started school at Sinclair Community College, majoring in creative writing. At the beginning of December she moved into a new apartment, this time without a roommate, and is looking forward to living completely on her own. She also has said that she is looking for a job, and we all are anxiously waiting for her to be employed again.

Erik is a senior in high school this year, and is looking forward to graduation in May. This fall he was featured five times in the marching band show, including opening the show with a solo. The band managed to qualify for finals at the mid-states marching championship for the first time in seven years – quite a big deal for them. He is still involved in the Jazz band (and you should hear him scat!). Ohio Northern University is currently at the top of the lists of colleges he would like to attend, looking at majoring in computer engineering (a micro-chip off the old block, you might say ? ).

Matthew is a sophomore at WCHS and also in the marching band, having loads of fun playing baritone, including being in a quartet with his brother (that the director liked to call the “Carter Brothers Gospel Quartet”). He is still growing, and looks to soon be the tallest one in the family. He was elected patrol leader in his scout troop, and just received his Life rank, and has begun working on his Eagle.

Scout spends his time sleeping, eating, sleeping, patrolling the yard, and sleeping, and doesn’t let anything get in his yard, except maybe the squirrels. He was recently upset by the idea that he might only be able to sleep for 20 hours in a day, however we quickly managed to bust that myth wide open.

2009 has been a year with many ups and downs, and we look forward to 2010 for more improvements. As always, we wish you and yours the very best during this season, and throughout the coming year.

Wishing you always...
Walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain
And tea beside the fire.
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire

Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Katlyn, Erik, Matthew and Scout

A date which will live in infamy

2009-12-07T09:09:00.003-05:00

And how many people remember it today? December 7th, 1941. What strikes me is the parallel the attack has to September 11, 2001.

What is unfortunate is the difference in response.

"Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God." - FDR, December 8th, 1941

What have we learned? Even more important, unfortunately, what have we forgotten since then?

It may be 68 years later, and it seems that as a country, as a people, we are but a pale shadow of those who came before.

There is a joke about the French, saying that they should be thankful to the Americans that they don't speak German now. What I'm wondering is, in forty years time, who might we be thanking that we don't speak Arabic?

Relax, nobody gets out of here alive

2009-11-13T15:25:00.002-05:00

People never cease to shock and amaze me, and all too often not in a good way.

There are just way too many people who take life way too seriously. As Costaki Economopoulis says, "C'mon, it's jokes". I simply can't conceive how people can function without a sense of humor, especially in the modern world. While there is a place for being serious, there is never a time when a sense of humor does not help.

When a tragedy strikes, you can always tell that the healing has begun because the jokes start. When people say you can't joke about something - then that is exactly what needs to be joked about. Reader's Digest has always claimed that Laughter is the Best Medicne and I truly believe it.

Political correctness is part of this problem. You end up with some uptight upper class snobs who decide that someone else might be offended by something, so you can't say that any more. If you say something it might offend someone. Guess what folks - nowhere in the constitution does it EVER say that you have a right not to be offended. But you have people trying to ban books, music, tv shows and movies because they are offended by them, or even worse, because they feel someone else might be offended by them. To them I say - so what!!!

If you don't like it - turn the channel. Don't buy it. Support the things you like, but don't tell me I can't listen to it, read it or watch it because you don't like it.

So lighten up and grow a sense of humor. You not only will live longer, but you will enjoy it a lot more as well.

Proud 'fer ya

2009-11-07T18:18:00.001-05:00

I don't talk about family much in my blog, mainly because I know that several of them read it and I'm not sure about writing things on more 'sensitive' family issues and people.

Usually, but not always.

I dob't consider myself southern, nor a redneck. My dad's famuily is from Missour, and that is just about the dfefinition of mid-west. They do come from down in the very southern part (the boot heel as it is called). My dad has his PhD in Government and history, and my mom has a Masters (I think in education). I grew up the son of two teachers in Colorado - so I'm not southern at all - i consider myself western, even if I have lived in Ohio for the past 20+ years.

However, once in a while, the redneck comes through, usually with a wink and a nod. Thus it was that I grew up hearing again and again how my relatives would say they were proud "fer ya" instead of "of you".

This afternoon I am down in Cincinnatti watching my boys marching band perform. (If you wanted to read something that gets straight to the poiint, then boy are you in the wrong place!). Erik is a senior, and he has 5 features in the show, including solos ro open and close the first number, a brass choir, a brass quartet (with his younger brother - the band director likes to call it "The Carter Brother's
Gospel Quartet"), and a trio to close the show.

Well the band has finally made MSBA finals (the first time since 2003) tonight. This is a pretty big deal for them. And as a father, I really want to say that I'm extremely proud 'fer my boys and the band.

I'm not sure if I ever say it enough, but I am very proud 'fer my boys, and I love them very much.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

One year later

2009-10-22T11:24:00.001-05:00

It was a year ago tomorrow that my life turned upside down. For the first, and I hope and expect only, time in my life I was fired from my job. No severance, no explanation, nothing. 17 years with the company, and having gotten the biggest raise EVER from them the year before and I was out.

The timing was good in that very night was the quarterly meeting of former employees to drink and network. And drink.

It probably shouldn't have surprised me, but in so many ways that job was like my first marriage. And I reacted to it in much the same way. It took me two months to get a new job - four hours from home in Detroit - good pay but as a contractor NO benefits. The one month contract lasted for almost 12 weeks, including one weekend they called me back for. I got my current job only a week after that ended - starting 5 months to the day after being fired.

When I talked with people about it, I remember saying it would be a rough journey, but that things would be better on the other side. I can definitely say that was true.

In almost every way this job is better than where I was. I do have less vacation and have to accrue it now, and only get paid once a month, but those are very minor. The gross pay is slightly less, but takehome is more, benefits are better (if a little confusing), and no on-call!

Most important is the respect and appreciation here. Being treated like a valuable, contributing part of the company, not being micro-managed at0all, and real tangible signs that I am doing well and am appreciated. Not having the feeling of being watched constantly.

I am hoping that the one year mark will allow for me to finally move past this emotionally and put that behind me where it belongs. I want my ex-employer to be like my ex-wife - not worth the energy to ever think or care about.

I guess I do need to thank both of them - by getting rid of me, you enabled me to get out of a toxic, abusive relationship into a good, fulfilling and much, much better one.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wetware

2009-10-19T08:22:00.003-05:00

I think that both of my readers know by now that I'm a computer programmer by profession, and a geek by nature. Most of my personally geek nature is not toward computers - working with them all day (and all I still have to use them for in my personal life) tends to mean that they aren't my preferred way of relaxing (instead I like to play non-computer games, and build toy soldiers (pictures are available on my web site - conveniently linked in the menu the right). But that doesn't mean they still don't intrude in some interesting ways.

I have a BS in Mathematics w/ Computer Emphasis, and while I don't really feel I'm a big intellectual, I sometimes enjoy reading a bit of philosophy once in a while, especially when it comes to the nature of intelligence. Douglas R Hofstadter is one of my favorite authors, and I'm currently reading the Anthology "The Mind's I" he co-editted, and have two more of his books lined up to read before I'm going to read GEB for probably the what, 7th? time. So maybe this stuff has influenced me a bit, I don't know.

A few years ago, I had a thought stuck in my head for several days. It was persistent, and kind of annoying, simply because like a song stuck in your head, I couldn't get it to go away. For some reason, the question as to what operating system my (and thus other people's as well) brain was running was stuck in my head. The initial thought was UNIX of course (there is no way I could be running any form of Windows - I don't reboot nearly often enough) and even though I easily dismissed that, the idea of what it was running kept with me.

Then last night, amid the ceaseless tossing and turning, getting up to go to the bathroom nearly every hour, and general failure to get any (so it felt) real sleep, I did have a bit of a recurring dream, or thought going through my head. For some reason, in the brief bits of sleep I did get, I was dreaming that the reason I wasn't sleeping was because the XML for my dreams was incorrectly formatted, and thus not able to parse, preventing me from sleeping. There were no images, thus this recurring idea / thought / dream all night long, between looking at the clock, getting up, and occasionally fighting with my wife for the covers. To top it off, I was starting to be fairly sure that I could come in to work today and fix the bug that was causing my dream XML to be incorrect and thus solve the problem.

Now, if you ask me (though no one ever does) then our brains are all effectively organic computers (i.e. wetware). The difference between our brains and computers are that brains are not hardwired, instead being "wetwired", and the "software" in our brains (i.e. our thoughts) can actually affect the wetware - causing new neural pathways to form as we learn/discover new ideas, thoughts and emotions. No two brains are identical, though their operation is isomorphic to each other at the wetware level. We all have the same biology, that works in the same way, but none of us have the same neural pathways. However we all do have pathways for common items (the sky, colors, words, etc), though of course my concept of something may not match to your concept of something exactly. Kind of like the question is the color that I see as green the same color you see as green. The light frequency is the same, but is how you interpret it the same? And before you say yes, think about people who are color blind - so that they may not be able to see green at all, or be able to distinguish it from red. It reminds me a bit of last stanza of the poem at the end of the Moody Blues classic "Knights in White Satin" which describs the moon:
Cold hearted orb
That rules the night
Removes the colours
From our sight
Red is gray and
Yellow white
But we decide
Which is right
And
Which is an Illusion

So hopefully doing a core dump here will clear my buffers allowing me to actually get some down time tonight.

Kobayashi Maru

2009-10-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life." Star Trek II : The Wrath of Khan

I never took the Kobayashi Maru, nor have I ever truly had to deal with death. I've only had one semi-close relative that has ever died (I just wasn't close to my grandparents - I was just too young when they passed), and even then I hadn't seen him in four years when he was killed.

I've never had to deal with it for animals either - the dog I grew up with ran away when we added on to the house, the dog I had for my first marriage stayed with my ex, and every other pet except for my current dog had to be given away for one reason or another.

My parents recently had to put down their 17 year old dog, and it really got me thinking. I've never faced death, and I don't know how I will deal with it. From the logistics of a funeral to the emotions - it feels like yet something else in life that I never got the instructions for. Here I am, father of 5, married twice, 45 years old, and still don't seem to have this thing figured out.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Social Security 2009

2009-10-12T16:42:00.001-05:00

Ok, I generally don't pass these on, and won't do it through email - however there is an extremely valid point here. I got this from my cousin - I don't know where it started so can't properly attribute it. However the idea is sound.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(This is worth reading. It is short and to the point.)
2010 is an election year for 1/3 of the senate and 1/2 of the house of
representatives. It would be nice if congress got the message; the voting
taxpayers are in charge now.

Propose this in 2009:

START A BILL TO PLACE ALL POLITICIANS ON SOCIAL SECURITY. If it's change our country truly needs, then let's "level the playing field" by eliminating the private retirement and health care plans that our Senators, Congressman, Congresswomen, Representatives; are receive and benefit from from the cost and detriment to us ... the "regular" people of this great nation.

LET US SHOW OUR LEADERS IN WASHINGTON "PEOPLE POWER" AND THE
POWER OF THE INTERNET. PLEASE FORWARD TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT!

KEEP IT GOING!!!!

Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions during election years.
Our Senators, Congressman, Congresswomen, Representatives; do not pay into Social Security and, of course, they do not collect from it.
You see, Social Security benefits were not suitable for persons of their rare
elevation in society. They felt they should have a special plan for themselves So, many years ago they voted in their own benefit plan. In more recent years, no congress person has felt the need to change it. After all, it is a great plan.
For all practical purposes their (Senators, Congressman, Congresswomen,
Representatives;), plan works like this:
1. When they retire, they continue to draw the same pay until they die.
Except it may increase from time to time for cost of living adjustments.
..... For example: Senator Byrd and Congressman White and their wives may
expect to draw $7, 800,000.00 (that's Seven Million, Eight-Hundred Thousand
Dollars), with their wives drawing $275, 000..00 during the last years of their lives.
This is calculated on an average life span for each of those two Dignitaries.
2. Younger Dignitaries who retire at an early age, will receive much more during
the rest of their lives. Their cost for this excellent plan is $0.00. ZIP!! NADA!!! ZILCH!!!
This little perk they voted for themselves is free to them. You and I pick up the tab
for this plan.
The funds for this fine retirement plan come directly from the General Funds;
"OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK"!
From our own Social Security Plan, which you and I pay (or have paid) into, every
payday until we retire (which amount is matched by our employer), We can expect to get an average of $1,000 per month after retirement.
Or, in other words, we would have to collect our average of $1,000 monthly
benefits for 68 years and one (1) month to equal Senator Bill Bradley's benefits!

Social Security could be very good if only one small change were made.
That change would be to IMMEDIATELY STOP THE "GOLDEN FLEECE RETIREMENT
PLAN" from existing! In it's place, put every Senator,
Congressmen, Congresswoman into the Social Security plan with the rest of us!
Then sit back.....
And see how fast they (Senators, Congressman, Congresswomen, Representatives),
would fix it!
If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of awareness will be planted and maybe
good changes will evolve.

How many people can YOU send this to?
Better yet......
How many people WILL you send this to?

P.S. The same goes for their (the Senators, Congressman, Congresswomen, Representatives) health plan.

Influences

2009-09-22T20:20:00.001-05:00

Ok, try the mobile thing again - see if it gets there this time without me having to resend it.

Of course that has nothing to do with the title. So quit digressing and get on topic. (As if I actually have one).

This afternoon, I noticed my new office-mate was reading a book with, what I thought, was a very interesting title. "The Tree of Knowledge" - apparently about the origins of thought.

Which instantly reminded me of Hofstadter, both "Godel, Escher, Bach" and (though I could not remember the title) his more recent book "I am a Strange Loop".

Then tonight when I go to look for them, I can't find them. My last recollection of GEB was at Reynolds, and I'm afraid I lent them to someone there - and as such expect that they are gone. Until I place an Amazon order, of course.

What is it that makes some things in our lives so important? I've only read GEB five or six times through - and read the dialogs many, many more.

Lord of the Rings was great, but it did not move me like The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. Again read multiple times.

Some things seem to shape our lives, and we can't imagine ourselves without their constant influence.

Hmmmm - I wonder if this is how religion affects those who truly believe?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Walking and pop philosophy

2009-09-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, since I seem to have the best ideas while walking, and I do have a blackberry - time to try some truly mobile updates.

I find it interesting, but also a bit scary, that so much of my personal philosophy comes from pop culture references. Is it just that I'm not well versed enough to recognize the original sources?

Case-in-point - I really identify with the line from "Batman Begins" where Alfred is talking to young Bruce Wayne, reminding him of a quote from his father. "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again."

So as I'm walking I see a young family - the mother had obviously brought the young toddler to pick up the father for lunch, and as they walked across the parking lot the cute little tyke fell, as is so common at that age. I smiled as he picked himself us and rubbed his butt (though he had fallen forward onto his hands and knees).

It got me thinking - how much more harm do we do in our society by so protecting everyone that they never fall - and thus never learn to picke themslves up? At what point does protecting and rescuing others start to hurt them more than help.

Give a man a fish every day, and he will never learn to fish for himself. At some point everyone has to walk on their own, fall a few times, and learn to pick themselves up. As a parent isn't it part of my job to teach what I can, and then step back and let them learn, even if it is by falling?

Unfortunately very easy to think about and write, very very difficult to actually do. The hard part isn't the unsteady first steps, it is letting go knowing they will fall so that they learn to pick themselves up again.

(And doung this while walking isn't too bad, just have to pause when it comes time to cross the street :-) )
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Still alive, just boring

2009-09-19T21:02:00.002-05:00

Yes, for both my readers, I am still alive - I just have not had much of interest to say.

No, that isn't really true. I've actually had a lot on my mind - what I haven't had is the opportunity to write anything while these thoughts are going on. I have been trying to walk every day at lunch - about the only concession towards actually working at losing instead of gaining weight, and it isn't much at that - and have a lot of interesting (at least to me, at the time) thoughts going on - but no easy way to get them out. Once I get back to work, well then I'm eating and trying to focus back on my job once more. The ideas just slip gently away, usually not to come back up until the next day while walking again.

Work is going quite well. I really like this job and company, and it is such a huge change from where I was for so long. Simple things like respect - it is almost hard to remember that the real world works that way. There are no poo-flinging monkeys here - it is a bunch of very good people all working hard.

The whole atmosphere is kind of different as well - because so much of what I've been working on is actual research and development, not generating reports or doing any sort of business processing. It amazes me still that after twenty years in this field, I am finally doing computer science, not data processing.

Somebody wrote an Einstein quote on the board in the big conference room. "If we knew what we were doing, then it wouldn't be called research." A few weeks later I found it on a placard - which now sits on my desk.

I had a bit of fun via my twitter feed on Thursday. The company is leasing half the bottom floor of a small (three story) office building, and we are simply out of room. Since I started they have hired 9 more people (one remote), and yet another is starting on Wednesday. Well they leased four more offices across the hall (sized for 1, 2, 2 and 4 people), so I played with the fact that I was told to pack up my desk - I wouldn't be working there any more. Instead I would be working across the hall - where it is even quieter, the office is laid out equally for the two of us, and we have a window!

I'll try to get back to this more regularly, and need to use it once again as part of a weight loss motivation. It is saddening to think that I've regained all the weight that I had lost two years ago, but it is true, and so far I have not found what it will take to get me to commit to reversing this trend and start doing weight watchers again. I know it in my head, but not to where I am yet doing anything about it.

Getting to know you

2009-07-30T14:41:00.002-05:00

You've been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as "Getting to know each other!", tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:00 AM
2. How do you like your steak? medium rare - nice and juicy
3. What was the last movie you saw? The Ugly Truth
4. What is your favorite TV show? Lost
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Colorado
6. What did you have for breakfast? Powdered eggs, horrid hash white potatoes, french toase, coffee
7. What is your favorite cuisine? japanese
8. What foods do you dislike? Vegetarian
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Sake'
10. Favorite dressing? Ranch
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? '03 Kia Sedona
12. What are your favorite clothes? jeans and T-shirt
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Ireland
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? The cup is twice as big as it needs to be
15. Where would you want to retire? Colorado or Florida
16. Favorite time of day? evening
17. Where were you born? Lamar, CO
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? don't watch sports
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I don't know
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? I don't know
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Everyone
22. Bird watcher? no
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? both, it is the afternoons I have trouble with
24. Doyou have any pets? yes, Australian Cattle Dog that is too smart for our own good.
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? nope
26. What did you want to be when you were little? astronaut
27. What is your best childhood memory? fishing with my dad
28. Are you a cat or dog person? dog
29. Are you married? Yes
30. Always wear your seat belt? pretty much
31. Been in a car accident? Yes.
32. Any pet peeves? yes.
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? sausage
34. Favorite Flower? alstromeria
35. Favorite ice cream? French Vanilla
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? SubwayZ
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Once written, none driving
38. From whom did you get your last email? Sallie Mae
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? no
41. Like your job? yes
42. Broccoli? sometimes raw, never cooked
43. What was your favorite vacation? Caribean cruise
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? The entire band
45. What are you listening to right now? nothing
46. What is your favorite color? blue
47. How many tattoos do you have? none
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? 0
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 3:48 pm EDT
50. Coffee Drinker? Yes

Word

2009-07-20T16:14:00.002-05:00

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Send to 20 people. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!

1. Where is your cell phone? belt
2. Your significant other? Diane
3. Your hair? missing
4. Your mother? Shirley
5. Your father? Joe
6. Your favorite? sushi
7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your favorite drink? mixed
9. Your dream/goal? happiness
10. What room you are in? dining
11. Your hobby? gaming
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? richer
14. Where were you last night? home
15. Something that you aren't? rich
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. Wish list item? money
18. Where you grew up? Colorado
19. Last thing you did? drive
20. What are you wearing? black
21. Your TV? downstairs
22. Your pets? Scout
23. Friends? some
24. Your life? here
25. Your mood? tired
26. Missing someone? no
27. Car? Toyota
28. Something you're not wearing? wig
29. Your favorite store? game
30. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? dunno
35. Who will resend this? noone
36. One place that I go to over and over? work
37. One person who emails me regularly? Diane
38. My favorite place to eat? Sake'

Happy Thoughts! :-)

2009-07-08T10:57:00.001-05:00

Ok, I guess I don't have to write only the bad stuff. I can say that I really like my new job, especially now that I am starting to understand the framework so I don't feel like a complete idiot (just a partial one :-)).

It is nice working in an environment of respect, instead of being treated like crap. It will probably still be a while before I completely get rid of the feeling of being constantly watched over, but it is getting there.

My daughter is in her first apartment - that is good news. No more fights at home all the time. Now if she will get her stufent loans straightened out, get a job, get a driver's license then I can worry a little less every day (and have her not call at 1:30 am baking cookies and the oven won't turn off - no I don't know what she was talking about then either).

Getting ready for a big Warhammer tournament this weekend with my Grateful Undead army (pics are here - http://puggimer.net/gratefulundead.htm for anyone interested. The last 40 deadheads (zombies) including one for Michael Jackson will be based tonight, and I will take some new pictures with the display base and all 240+ models.

Band camp is in less than three weeks - was fun last year - kind of looking forward to it again.

Ok, enough happy thoughts - I now return you to your regularly scheduled whining and complaining.
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Moving day

2009-07-03T16:35:00.001-05:00

I hate moving. I hate helping others move. The good thing about that however is once everything is moved, you can go home while they unpack and organize.

So the second kid moved out today. Would have been easier had it been a dorm, but an apartment is ok as well. Doing the father thing and helping (i.e. paying for) some of the things she needs.

It is the first step on her new grand adventure of life (and funny that it is on her 19th birthday as well), and like all adventures is exciting, scary, nerve wracking, painful and joyful; sometimes all at once.

Yes, I'll be worrying about her, but this day had to come, and both her and the rest of the family will be more peaceful for it.
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Shame on me

2009-07-02T13:53:00.002-05:00

for not updating my blog. Yes, I've been busy, and with a good job there just isn't things to complain about. I'm still getting used to working for a company where both me and my opinion are respected, and though I feel like I am still watching over my shoulder - there isn't anything there anymore.

The work is very challenging (i.e. it is kicking my butt trying to understand everything) and I am the resident expert on several things which I feel I'm barely scratching the surface of. Of course then I turn around and am able to crank out some things now in a few minutes that a couple of months ago I was beating my head against the wall over.

Not that I don't get that feeling - it is just over new things now.

And the company is doing lots of new things - kind of the very definition of what we do.

On the white board in the small conference room someone wrote the quote:

"If we knew what we were doing, they wouldn't call it research" - A. Einstein

I do tend to update my twitter feed a least once a day, so it does give both my readers who aren't following me something to read.

In good news, I won Best Army at the Origins Warhammer Fantasy Battles tournament put on by the Olde World Warriors. I finally picked up a new digital camera - so there are new pictures of them up on my site - http://puggimer.net/gratefulundead.html

Reconnecting - like a debitaliting kick in the crotch

2009-05-18T21:39:00.002-05:00

It is something you don't anticipate, don't expect, and are surprised both by the event and by the fact that you can still react to it.

With all the new ways to connect, make new friends and find old ones - you simply never expect to go out, do a search for old friends, and come up with something else entirely.

Looking back at high school, it really wasn't a great time for me. In fact an awful lot of it sucked pretty big time. Even back to junior high school. And it all had to do with two bullies. They delighted in picking on me in many and various ways. One of them was definitely the worse of the two as well - someone that while I have never had to see again since he graduated a year ahead of me.

Then today, just browsing facebook for people from my high school that I'd like to re-connect with (and not finding any), I found him.

Just seeing he was on there caused a pit in my stomach. Probably even worse than if I were to find my ex-wife (who has been incommunicado for three years now), because at some level I expect that.

A weird part of me wanted to contact him, but I quickly beat that small spark into submission. I really don't want anything to do with him, and just knowing he is 'really' there is bad enough. It bothers me a lot that it bothers me though.

Learning to fly

2009-04-22T20:43:00.001-05:00

Ah spring. The snow doesn't stick around nearly as long, the chives are taking over the back lawn, and the maple is bursting forth with seeds soon to be twirling all over the neighborhood, until they fin the perfect place to grow - the gutters.

Birds are nesting (and crapping all over my barbecue grill - WTF?!? ) and soon little peeps (and not the stale marshmallow ones growing hard on the counter) will be chirping with the sunrise. Not long after that, and it is time for then to get shoved from the nest out into the wiode world, to make their own way (and find new grills to crap on).

But at what time is it right to cut the strings, to push then out, to let the little ones fly free? How much can you do to prepare them to go out on their own? How many lessons can you give them, how much can you teach them before they simply have to face things on their own?

We don't abandon them. We try to help out as we can, gently guiding them to find their own way as they take their first steps towards independence. We point them in the right direction, but at some point we can no longer guide them. Eventually they leave the "nest" and must fly, or fall, on their own.

What so surprises me is that it isn't my children I'm talking about, as relevant as this may be for them. No, it is about co-workers at previous jobs. How long do you help and give them support (for free on top of it)? At what point do they need to simply go on their own? It has been five weeks (tomorrow will be one month at my new job, and six months since I was let go from where I had been for almost 20 years). And I'm still getting questions - and it still feels like they are lost.

I'm afraid I'm no better at letting (or forcing them to) fly free than I am with my kids.
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It can't always be so serious - 75 questions

2009-04-15T22:11:00.002-05:00

75 things you probably have never been asked... (I call shenanigans because there are 76 questions.)

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair / balding head

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
grey

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Of course

4. Do you plan outfits?
since I'm a guy - of course not

5. How do you feel right now?
tired

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
Clive Cussler's latest book - Corsair

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
aim

8. Tell me about the last dream you had?
I rarely remember my dreams

9. Have you met anyone new today?
nope

10. What are you craving right now?
a decent nights sleep

11. Do you floss?
Sometimes.

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cole's Law - slimly sliced cabbage

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?
I can't remember

14. Are you emotional?
rarely

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
what is the taco song?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yes.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
bite, nibble, and suck it into my mouth

18. Do you like your hair?
I try to not saying anything bad about it, because I don't want what little I have left to leave as well.

19. Do you like yourself?
yes

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
how do you define celebrity?

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
yes

22. What are you listening to right now?
the news

23. How many countries have you visited?
4 outside the US

24. Are your parents strict?
I didn't think so

25. Would you go sky diving?
probably not

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
why would I want to?

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
why would I want to?

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
My water thermometer

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
Does Sleeping Beauty's castle in Disneyworld count?

Do you rent movies often?
No

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
no

33. Do you own a gun?
no

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
why would I want to?

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Diane

36. Brown or white eggs?
White.

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
no

38. Ever been on a train?
yes

39. Ever been in love?
Yes.

39. Are you in love?
Yes

40. Do you have a cell phone?
yes

41. Are you too forgiving?
probably

42. Do you use chapstick?
when I need it

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Probably playing computer games

44. Can you use chop sticks?
yes, though my hands get sore really quickly

45. Ever have cream puffs?
no

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
yes

47. What was the last question you asked?
I don't remember

48. What was the last CD you bought?
some comedy thing on the cruise

49. Boys or girls?
girls

50. What is your bus number for school?
never rode the bus to school

51. Is your hair curly?
what hair?

52. Last time you cried?
Saturday during the concert

53. Ever walked into a wall?
yes

54. Do looks matter?
unfortunately yes

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
no

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes

57. Favorite time of the year?
Autumn

58. Favorite color?
Blue

59. Are you sarcastic?
yes

60. The last person you held hands with?
Diane

61. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no

62. Where was your default picture taken at?
my basement

63. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
yes

65. Do you like your life right now?
yes

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
every day

67. What was the most recent thing you bought?
sushi

68. Do you have good vision?
did, but it is getting worse the older I get

69. Can you hula hoop?
not really

70. Could you ever forgive a cheater?.
probably

71. Do you have a job?
Finally!

72. Can you handle the truth?
Yes

73. What are you wearing?
Jeans, off-white shirt

74. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes

75: What does the last text message you received say?
OK cool.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

2009-04-14T21:55:00.002-05:00

I continue to find the wit and wisdom of the past to be comforting. Mark Twain truly was a genius, and knew the human soul. (The title of this is a quote from him).

There are days that I wonder, what is the truth? So often we become mushrooms in our lives - living in the dark, being fed nothing but bullshit, and getting our heads cut off whenever we stick them up - that we start to wonder.

Don't get me wrong - while I may not have the most perfect memory in the world (and it takes me way too long to learn people's names), I do know the difference between reality and fantasy (if for no other reason than fantasy is so much more pleasant most of the time). Even so, one's perception of events, which is the truth for them, can be different from others.

The movie Vantage Point does an excellent job of showing this - I really enjoyed this (both seeing it in the theatre, renting it once, and watching it a few more times on cable) movie, especially then end where the final public story has no bearing at all on what really happened.

However it isn't the idea of truth itself that I've been thinking on lately, it is more of the difference between honesty and lies. Like fantasy, lies are often so much easier and simpler to believe (at least at first) than what is often called the cold, hard truth. I've had a lot of personal experience with this - because my ex-wife is a compulsive liar. I was sucked into many, many of these in the ten years I was married to her. In fact, the only thing I miss about her is the entertainment value in re-telling the soap-opera stories that were her life, because she made it that way.

I don't understand the persona of a person who habitually lies. Me, I'm not smart enough to do this. You have to be amazingly brilliant to remember what lies you have told what people, so that you can effectively keep juggling more and more balls in the air. Me, I'd forget what I told the first person and blow it right away, which is why I prefer honesty. It is just easier. My ex would keep juggling things more and more until they all blew up and like a juggler attempting one ball too many, everything collapsed. Then she would figuratively dust herself off, find a new group of 'friends' and start the juggling act all over again.

I guess the fantasy world that many people create is simply nicer to live in than the real world - and at least the people know you there.

Adjustments

2009-04-04T09:22:00.002-05:00

Well, two weeks into the new job, things are going ok. The first week was really good - this week was ok. Somebody wrote a quote from Einstein on one of the white boards -"If we knew what we were doing they wouldn't call it research." I am never very comfortable in the ignorant mode - even when I'm working at eliminating it. It will be a while yet, but I'll eventually figure out what it is I'm doing and be comfortable with the work.

P, my ex boss, is working there - and he said to expect it to take a couple of months before the whole thing really sinks in - and you quit expecting all the bad stuff that I've lived with for the past twenty years.

To me, I just keep drawing parallels to my divorce. The whole shock of it happening, the grief over the loss, even of something bad. The struggle to get on with life. Now having a good, permanent job is like getting married again - still trying to feel it all out.

What I am really wondering is when I'lll finally, truly be able to let go. It has been over five months now - when can I stop feeling hurt about it, and get to the point where it doesn't matter any more.

I did it with my ex-wife. In fact, I sometimes find it humorous that Diane currently has more (negative, but more) feelings about my ex-wife than I do. I have truly put it aside - what she does and what she did no longer matter - I refuse to give her even the little bit of caring enough to dislike or even hate her. Hate takes way too much energy - and she isn't worth that to me.

Unfortunately I'm not there with Reynolds. I'm not where I don't care, even though I want to be.

Oops

2009-03-27T09:03:00.002-05:00

Minor correction - it is Deus ex Machina, not duex. So much for me sounding educated :-)
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Bad taste in my mind

2009-03-27T08:31:00.001-05:00

I believe the term is "Deux ex Machina" - the literal translation being "god in the machine". It comes from greek theatre, where at the end of the play a god would drop down out of the sky and save the day. In modern usage, it is where in a movie (or tv show, novel, whatever) the solution sudenly appears out of left field, with no logic or reason - often leaving you with a feeling of ?!?WTF?!?

Diane and I went to see "Knowing" last night. OMG what a horrible movie.

The best anology I can make is imagine eating a big chocolate candy bar - like a Snickers. Good, chewy, nuts. Then as you pop the last bite into your mouth, you suddenly realize that you eating a chocolate covered turd - with nuts. No matter how much you enjoyed the first 3/4 of it, you can't get the taste of the turd out of your mouth.

It could have been a good movie - if they took out the last 15 minutes or so (the huge Deux ex Machina turd) and actually wrote a real ending.

Not the absolute worst movie I have seen, but it really works hard for the honor.

I have to wonder if Nicholas Cage was broke or what to have made him make this steaming piece of cinematic crap.
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Back to work full time

2009-03-23T06:26:00.001-05:00

I'm a bit nervous and excited. Starting a new job, this one 'permanent' (as much as any are) with great benefits. I don't like learning a new routine, but I'll be working with three people I have worked with in the past, so that is good.

It is funny, I always worry about timing and first impressions - I usually leave around 7:00 am and get in early, but getting in early really isn't an option the first day.
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Unemployed, again

2009-03-16T07:48:00.002-05:00

It feels a little like I'm back where I started. The one month assignment I took in December is finally over - after only 12 weeks. Talk about a long month. :-)

I guess I should consider myself fortunate that I got it extended as long as I did - it gives me some breathing room until the next one.

Maybe that one will be soon (I hope!!!). I have several opportunities that look like they are progressing, though very, very slowly. And all of them local (ok, one is about 30 miles south between here and Cincinnati, but close enough). The waiting is the worst part though.

I've seen 160 out of 239 films

2009-03-15T19:53:00.003-05:00

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list.
(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show (live, no costume)
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) AirplaneTotal: 8

(X) The Princess Bride
(X) Anchorman
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
(X) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
(X) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 17

(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
(X) Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
(X) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding( )
American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 26

(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
(X) Little Black Book
(X) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 33

(X) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(X) Signs
(X) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
(X) Robots
Total so far: 40

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(X) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
(X) Eight Crazy Nights
(X) Joe Dirt
(X) KING KONG (which one? 1933? 1976? 2005? - oh well I've seen them all)
Total so far:51

( ) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(X) Halloween
(X) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X -MAS
(X) Flubber
Total so far:55

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(X) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(X) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
(X) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 61

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
(X) Seed of Chucky
(X) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 71

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(X) Lucky Number Slevin
(X) Ocean's Eleven
(X) Ocean's Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
(X) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(X) Predator I
(X) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 80

(X) Independence Day
(X) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(X) Christine
(X) ET
(X) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
(X) War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
(X) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 89

( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
(X) Calendar Girls
(X) Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
(X) Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
(X) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2
(X) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 101

(X) X-Men
(X) X-2
(X) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
(X) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
(X) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(X) The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
Total so far 114

( ) Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
(X) Old School
(X) The Notebook
(X) K-Pax
(X) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 120

(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 126

(2) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
(X) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(X) American History X
( ) Thor ???? out in 2011 unless you mean cartoon?
Total so Far:130

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc
.(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(X) Shaun Of the Dead
(X) Willard
Total so far 133

( ) High Tension
(X) Club Dread
(X) Hulk
(X) Dawn Of the Dead (which version again (black & white is better))
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(X) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
(X) Phantasm
(X) Waterworld
Total so far: 143

(X) Kill Bill vol 1
(X) Kill Bill vol 2
(X) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
(X) The Last House on the Left (original)
( ) Re-Animator
(X) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 148

(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 154

(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
(X) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(X) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far:160
Now add them up and...Put "I've seen...out of 239 films" in the subject line and repost it

Again with the beauracracy

2009-03-02T08:57:00.001-05:00

Once again I am sitting here at the client site (only two more weeks! (Careful though - it isn't like I haven't gotten extended before)) unable to work. My network access has expired - so I am waiting for the swift beaur*cratic machine to begin huffing and puffing and churning out whatever reams of paperwork are required to have the sys admin reset my account.

This job has been interesting, but having it go on for 3 months instead of one has been a bit hard. Not as bad as the off-shore people that they brought on-shore for 4 months, but still the weekly 4 hour drive each way on Sunday and Friday evenings is very tiring.
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Downside of vacation

2009-02-14T11:14:00.001-05:00

Well, here we sit in the Ft Lauderdale airport, waiting. It aeems that is one of the things you do the most when travelling - wait. Wait to get off the ship. Wait to get through immigration ( though no wait for customs since all we had to declare was some tequila (Mexican Viagra!). Wiat for a taxin wait to check in at the airport. Then we can't check out bags before 3 hours prior to our flight - so there is another wait before I can begin the wait for that. And security is only processing for two hours before the flight - so another wait to wait there. And almost a 3 hour layover on Atlanta before the flight home, and the wait for the shuittle bcak to the parking.

When I said I can't wait for vacation, I did not expect that I'd have to make up for all of it coming home.

But wait - if that isn't bad enough - it is scary to see what my weight will be once I finally get home. Have to back on the diet and stay there.
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So looking forward to it

2009-02-05T12:51:00.001-05:00

As I write this, there is slightly less than four days until we can board the ship for our cruise. I am really anxious to actually see the sun and be warm again. Plus just feeling the daylight on my face will be so refreshing.

I talked to the dr. Back in October before our insurance ran out and got on Welbutrin again for the winter and I think it has helped my winter blues (the dr. Suggested a few years ago that I might have SAD (I think I already wrote about that once before even)). The problem was that with no insurance, I started to run out and went to half a dose for the last month worth. I don't think it has been bad, and all thibgs considered I should probably go on it every year.

Still, it isn't the same thing as acrually seeing and being in the sun. And that is only three days (we are spending the night in Ft Lauderdale before we get on the boat) until I can really see it again!!!
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Who knew that anyone cared?

2009-01-31T11:29:00.001-05:00

Looks like one of my nearly half dozen readers (ok, it was my son, but his clicks count) actually was wondering why I hadn't updated the blog in so long. Pretty much just been busy and lazy - do those really go together?

The temp job in Detroit has gone from a month to two, and it should be confirmed early next week if it will go until the first week of March. And the next month may include overtime as well - and that is paid overtime ( though not time and a half).

I am a bit frustrated at the multiple levels of beauracracy, both with my company and the client. We just found out that we have to use a specific subsystem that is never mentioned in the requirements, and it looks to be a big pain in the butt.

I am sick of the 4 hour drive twice a week, and that it feels like all I do on the weekends is to get prepped to go back (laundry, etc.)

So in better news, it is only 9 days until the cruise! WooHoo!!! I can't wait to be warm in the caribean sun for a week! The irony is that the weekend before and aftwr will be no more restful or relaxing ( as we fly out on Sunday, and get back the next Sunday about 1 am ).
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De-Lurking day +1 - better late than never

2009-01-13T20:10:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was de-lurking day - the day one day a year when those who read these blogs are asked to comment, just the once, so that people can see who is really out there. And of course, I missed it completely.

However, if you want to say hi, I'd love to know who the two actual readers are!

God I feel old

2008-12-30T22:51:00.003-05:00

and I'm not that old, really. 44 is a far cry from being dead. I still feel ancient. Or more aptly, like a dirty old man. And a pathetic one at that.

Here I am, working 200 miles from home. I spend my nights at the hotel bar, eating dinner and drinking. Bad enough, I know. But then there are these cute bartenders (both female). And while they are cute (did I say that already?) and one of them jiggles really nicely, I still can't help but be reminded that I am old enough to be their father. And not any of this barely doing it at 16 either - these girls (ok, technically women, but c'mon, at that age they don't want to be called women, do they?) are both younger than my step-daughter!

I haven't started to lose my memory (yet). I can remember back in high school. Sitting there in math class, and it was like the teacher had erection radar - the only time you I would be called up to the blackboad was when I had a sponaneous woody in my pants - for no other reason than I was 16. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back to that, by any means. I was actually a bit grateful the day I realized that I no longer had to worry about attempting to hide inappropriate bulges in my pants because there was a strong breeze, or a member of the opposite sex within a five mile radius. However, it would be nice to think that I was actually still alive, and could appreciate the assets of a pretty girl, in more than a slightly academic way.

*sigh*

I seem to have missed that 'normal' stage of a sex drive - and gone from the teenage 'WAY TOO MUCH' to the middle age 'where did it go?'. The hardware still works fine, it is the software that doesn't seem to be keeping up.

Honestly, a few years ago it was more of an issue - but now it just seems to be.

I hate feeling old.

If it isn't one thing . . .

2008-12-22T18:11:00.001-05:00

*sigh*

Today seemed to start off good. Got to the client and pretty quickly got access to the software I need. Of course then later this morning I finally find out where the actual code is - but do I have access there? Of course not - yet another different request to get that.

I would think that since I seem to be the last team member on this project that they would know what we need alreadyan and would have put all the requests in - if not before I got there then at least as soon as I did. It seems like every day there is one more thing I need that I should already have and I don't.

I also thought we would be working 4 x 10, but apparently not. Which makes me a bit curious about the team members who left thursday afternoon to go home. And travel time is not billable (I could hope but didn't expect it), so did those guys really just lose a day and a half? And what about the on-shore people (the ones they brought over from India to code the project - who aren't going home on the weekends for sure)? Friday I checked several times and never saw any sign that any of them were in at all.

Plus I still don'kt have all the set up from my company yet. I hope it feels a little better once I can put in my time and expense reports, since without those I don't get paid!

Oh well, if I didn't have something to complain about then I'd have to make something up!
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ID-10-T error

2008-12-19T13:27:00.001-05:00

We now resume our regularly scheduled rant - hopefully without another pre-mature transmission (we all know how messy and embarrassing those are.)

Two examples, both with my new job. First is the weather. The horrible snowstorm was all over the news last night with another one to follow on Sunday. Should I stay up here or brave the roads to be home - and if I do, will it take 6-8 hours again like it did Tuesday?

The bigger one was simply my own self doubt about this job. Can I do it? Am I the expert that my job title says I am? Do I know enough to not be an idiot here? Yes, I've had a lot of self doubt the past couple of days. And not being able to remember a technical component (JMX) the first day didn't help.

But I feel better now. I have finally found some of the documents I have been looking for - and they make me feel much better about what I know and what I can do / provide here. I don't think the client's use of the technology is nearly as advanced as I first believed - the stuff we did before was much, much more. I still have more to research, but I'm feeling a lot more comfortable, even if I still haven't used JMX.
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Realistic expectations

2008-12-19T13:13:00.001-05:00

How do I set more reasonable expectations in life? I don't mean goals or projects - just be more accurate in what to ezpect day to day.

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Waiting is the hardest part

2008-12-18T08:06:00.001-05:00

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Came to work
And sat there. And sat there. And sat there.

Ok, so it is first thing in the morning - I have to at least wait for people to come in so they can check to see if I have been set up. Unfortunately, knowledge of this does not make me less frustrated about it.

Then the weather. A big storm tomorrow, and another on Sunday. The days I need to drive. Just friggin great. I'm really thinking that I may just have to stay up here through the weekend simply because of the weather. Aarrgh.
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Sigh - more waiting

2008-12-17T16:10:00.001-05:00

Now it looks like no access unti tomorrow. My role is helping w/ tech design and mentoring the programmers - not really programming myself.

Of course all the documents I need to start wrapping my mind around this are on the share - there is very little paper around here it seems.

Speaking of which - got the rest of the starting paperwork filled out - I'll have to send it from the hotel tonight though.

Oh, and one minor annoyance - the time on the phones is 4 minutes fast, as is the time on the wall clocks. Same with the clock in my hotel room. What, is Michigan in it's own time zone 4 minutes ahead of the rest of the world?
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Expectations

2008-12-17T13:36:00.001-05:00

Hmmm - so far (like half a day) this does not feel like I expected - not that it is bad or good mind you.

To me, when I thought about getting paid double what I was - I just felt like when we had brought in high priced consultants - it was critical to utilize all of their time. The other employees would stop their other projects to make sure they were working with these people. We would prepare as much as possible before they arrived and be working within an hour bringing them up to speed on the project and the issues we were going to be working on.

So far that has not been this - not by a long shot. I get the feeling so far that this is much more like a regular job - just much more focussed (there is no one to interrupt me with other projects after all). Everyone on the project is a contractor from the looks of it (most of them from India).

Also of interest - my badge is set up until the end of next month, and they are already talking about extensions beyond the first of the year (one team member who will be doing the testing was supposed to start next week - but now appears like it will be the first of the year.

I just hate the waiting and attempting to look like I'm worth my pay check.
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More and more waiting

2008-12-17T11:48:00.001-05:00

Got a badge and I'd number now - so next step is computer access (which requires the I'd number). I hope all the software is already installed so I can start to look at things before the 3:00 team meeting.

Kind of ironic a bit when you think that here I am working at a huge insurance company - when we don't yet have any ourselves (however this job will either allow me to pay for some, or I will get a permanent position pretty soon.
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Day one

2008-12-17T09:15:00.001-05:00

Rushing around only to end up sitting and waiting. The mgr had an unezpected meeting - though I did see my half cube on the way in - all the cubes here are tiny, with only half walls - so you look up and see everyone around you. Kind of warm in here as well - will be glad to get started so I can off the suit jacket. Also doesn't look like anyone else is wearing a tie - but then as a consultant I think I should be a bit better dressed than the others.
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OMG

2008-12-17T01:40:00.001-05:00

Over 8 friggin hours! For only what - 230 miles or so. And I have to get the drug test done before I get to the client site in the morning - so definitely have to be up early
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Finally creeping along

2008-12-16T20:27:00.001-05:00

After only 50 minutes and one more tow truck
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And now 5

2008-12-16T20:10:00.001-05:00

2 tow trucks. 1 snowplow. 1 cop. And 1 that I wasn't really paying attention to. And 30 minutes (I am tracking from when I called Diane to tell her I was stuck)

What sucks is I have probably 3 hours at normal highway speeds to get there!

*sigh*
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4 so far

2008-12-16T20:04:00.001-05:00

Yep, that is the number of emergency vehicles that have gone by on the shoulder of I-75 as I sit here. 20 minutes so far, and I thought this trip was taking a long time when I was only able to go 35-40 mph. It is taking much longer now that I'm parked waiting. And waiting.

At least my crackberry is able to provide some entertainment while I sit here. I will have to see what other apps are out there since I have nothing else to do.

What a way to start a new job. Oh yeah - I also wasnkt able to do my drug test this afternoon (the interview took longer than expected, the roads sucked, and the paperwork I needed was at home) so I have to start the day by peeing a cup. At least there is a clinic about 2 miles from the client site, and I don't have to be there until 9 (it opens @ 8:15).
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Trying to be patient

2008-12-16T09:49:00.003-05:00

and not succeeding very well. I am supposed to report to work at 9 am tomorrow morning. But I still need to get drug tested, and to do that I have to get the paperwork - which is coming by fedex. Plus Lotus Notes is coming fedex as well, as well as the paperwork for me to start working. I HATE this waiting, wondering, and rushing to try and get things done.

I have an orientation call this morning in about 10 minutes - a part of me feels that this is kind of a waste, as I am only scheduled to be an employee for what - two to three weeks? The recruiter did give me the sense of urgency about this project, but it doesn't seem to have spread throughout the organization.

Then this afternoon I have an interview with the same company for a permanent position here in town. The thing that makes it more complicated is last week I interviewed for a position on the same project with another company - and I would be a subcontractor to this one. So I have to make sure I'm clear and upfront about things, so I don't just get tossed out completely, which would be bad. The interview Friday was with a company that has made the top 10 places to work in this area for the past two years, and is the difference between a small company (some 50 or so people) and a giant (what, 90,000+ employees worldwide) company. Could be interesting.

I just wish the stupid paperwork would get here already.

Seven weeks today

2008-12-11T11:44:00.003-05:00

since I lost my job. Seven weeks of looking during a recession as well as the end of the year - kind of the making of a perfect storm for not being able to get a new job. I've begun to lose count of the number of interviews I've had (I think about a dozen or so). All went well, but didn't produce anything.

All but one that is. There are a couple that look really good, one that I think would be a really good fit, even if it will be a 30-45 minute drive. Did some of the paperwork for that one, so now I'm waiting again.

It is the waiting that is the absolute worst part. But at least for the next few weeks I won't be waiting. Yep, on Monday I'll be in Detroit (Detroit in December - there's a way to attract anybody). But I'll be working. For a large sum of money. Normally I would not consider anything that was not local, but the dollars simply made me stand up and take notice. It is only a 3-4 week job, but it should give us a couple more months breathing room, and I hope in that time to get a permanent (even if as not as well paying) job.

Christmas Letter 2008

2008-12-08T18:24:00.000-05:00

December 8^th, 2008

Time yet again for that yearly update to all our friends,family, in-laws, out-laws, and that last person that is always on the list butno one remembers who they are related to:

Time keeps marching forward, andhairlines, hemlines, hopes and dreams go with it. Though we are still struggling in this bleakwasteland of Ohio, they are talking that soon everyone will have a horselesscarriage of their own – but that no one will be able to afford the gas to driveit! At least there is some relieffinally at the pump, if not for the rest of the economy.

Once again it seems we wereconstantly on the move. A quick weekendback to Colorado for Mom & Dad’s big anniversary, as well as a trip toMinnesota for Mike and Diane (with an extra week up there for Diane) forBecky’s graduation kept us busy in the spring. It seems that someone was going to some camp or another all the timeover the summer, and somehow Matthew managed to get to go to all of them. Between leadership camp in California for theboys (and a week vacation for Diane visiting friends and relatives), band campfor the boys and myself (as chaperone, cart repairman, and generally lugger ofequipment), and scout camp for Matthew, things were always on the move.

Unfortunately, the fall did nothold such good news. After 17 yearsworking for Reynolds and Reynolds in the Dayton area, I was let go (to put itnicely), and at this point am still searching for work. This has put a bit of a damper on the holidayseason, but Diane is working hard to help out with her real estate business.

Speaking of which, her business hascontinued to grow. She added two moreinvestors to her growing entourage, though one company has since pulled backafter a tremendous buying spree early in the year. Still, she is yet again one of the topsellers in her office, even if the dollar amounts of the sales are prettylow. Both Diane and I continue to workon the Band Booster board, and with as many newsletters as she is now signed upto write, I still can’t see how I end up penning this little note every year.

Becky has had a great year, gettingherself a big girl job (with insurance, benefits and everything) aftergraduating from St. Kate’s in May and completing her internship. She is working full time at Coon Rapids highschool as a sign language interpreter, and she absolutely loves it. She is still living uptown, but will bemoving again in February (ah, the joy of being young and free, and moving everyyear!) She will also soon be starting atSorenson Communications as a video relay interpreter, and is an assistant coachfor her old volleyball team. And forthose withinquiring minds, she and Lou are still together.

Jon is in his third year at BowlingGreen State University, having changed his major (again, butwho is counting?) to Psychology with an art minor. The yearhas been one of firsts for him since he got his first apartment with three other guys, which has been alot of fun. He also joined a comedyimprovisational troupe on campus called “Bad Genetics”(I try not to take offense a the title because heisn’t referring to me at all!) whichhe has really beengetting into and having a lot of fun with, performingboth live and doing videos that they poston YouTube. He is still working for the schooldining service as a student supervisor,

and hopes to become a manager by the end of the semester.

Katie has been very busy thisyear. In July she returned home fromCross Creek after almost three years. Though she did not graduate the program she has since continued to workher program at home. She is currently asenior at West Carrollton High School and is very involved in the choir. Her grades are decent besides the fact thatAlgebra II is kicking her butt. She isapplying to Sinclair Community College and hopes to attend in the fall so shecan be a writer (see – everyone else is a writer but I do the family letter – whatgives?). She has a part time job workingat the local Big Boy restaurant which she really enjoys.

Erik has completed his third yearof marching band as a junior at WCHS. Their show was “The Sounds of Sinatra”, and though it is a rebuildingyear for the band things are growing and getting better. He has formed a jazz band with his friendsand had a few performances already, though they have yet to come up with a namefor it. He has begun to look atcolleges, and is currently thinking about the University of Cincinnati, wherehe would like to major in physics or engineering. In addition, he got his drivers permit, sostay off the streets!

Matthew isa freshman at WCHS and also in the marching band, having loads of fun playingbaritone. He is getting taller everyday, and was never happier than when he realized that he was finally as tall ashis father, and on a good day even taller. He is still involved in the boy scouts, acting as the assistant patrolleader for his patrol, and going on lots of campouts.

Scout has recently become upset atall the disturbances that get in the way of his goal of sleeping the entire dayaway. In the few minutes that he doesopen his eyes, he continues to watch over his domain, barking through thewindow and going nuts when he sees the neighbor walking her three leggedChihuahua (who we affectionately have nicknamed ‘tripod’).

As the year slowly winds to aclose, we look forward to 2009 with all of our hopes and dreams. Times have been tough for everyone, and wehope to turn it around here in Ohio for at least this branch of the Carterclan. One highlight is sure to be thecruise that Diane and I are going on in February (her annual realtorconvention, luckily bought and paid for many months ago).

Our best wishes go out to everyoneduring this time of year for a great Christmas and an even better New Years.

May love and laughter light yourdays,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Mike, Diane, Becky, Jon, Katlyn,Erik, Matthew and Scout

Thanksgiving is over . . .

2008-11-30T09:00:00.002-05:00

and now it is time for Christmas. And there was much rejoicing. yeah.

I just am not in the holiday mood. I don't know if it is just the holidays, since that seems to be a pretty depressing time of year for alot of folks, or that it seems that so often unhappy things happen then, or I just notice it more.

Thinking back, I haven't enjoyed Christmas for the past 10 years, and this one doesn't look good. And even before that there were a few bad ones. Going to Floriday when Jon was almost two, and having to explain to him why Santa Claus hadn't come yet when he woke up (because his grandfather (his mother's father) wanted to do it, even though we weren't staying with him (we were in a hotel), and when we got there that morning, they still were asleep). And then having peanut butter sandwiches for Christmas dinner (their big dinner was the night before, which was a Columbian chicken/rice dish - whoop dee doo).

Then the one in 1997, before I was kicked out of the house. The one where the wife took the two younger boys down to Florida with her. That was rough. Then the next year, when she had them in New Mexico, and I got to see them for a few hours a few days before Christmas (in nine months that was all I saw them, until I got custody). We took a bus to MN for Christmas that year, which broke down outside of St. Paul, then we got snowed in and stuck in Chicago on the way back. Memorable, but not fun.

Several Christmases where all the kids were at their mothers, and I was up in MN with Diane (before we were married). Those were also hard, not being with any of my family. I can really understand why Diane gets a bit blue on the day now that she is in Ohio for it.

Then the year we sent Katie to the school, and the boys saw their mom for the last time (we currently have had no contact with her for two years, and don't know where she is or have any way to find her). That was really rough.

And now being unemployed for five weeks, and nothing yet in site. I haven't been real thankful this year. I got a notice from the unemployment office that they had matched me with a job - that scares me a bit because I don't know what it is at all - but if I refuse it then I could lose what benefits I get. I'm really concerned that it is like an entry level something - way less than what I need to make to pay the bills.

That is kind of funny, as I don't have the money to pay the bills now. Medical bills for Diane's back surgery are just sitting there for the time being. One of the student loans for Katie's school is in forebearance. And I just keep watching the last of the savings dwindle away.

One thing I did not anticipate is having to switch banks. I had been with the Credit Union for almost as long as I'd been an employee - something like 17 years. But it isn't convienient anymore, and even the thought of going there is a bit painful, since it is at Reynolds. I'd really rather not go back there at all if I don't have to. So that is a bit of a pain.

Diane is helping out tremendously. She has had several closings - all going into the new account so that when the old one runs dry I can then switch - and she should get the second Oak Point one this month, so I hope we are good until next year - though the prospect of Christmas is just filling me with dread.

One thing I have always enjoyed was giving presents - and I know I overspend every year. But this year that isn't an option. I dread spending anything, because I know there is nothing coming in to replace it. Four years ago when it was just Diane and I here for Christmas it was a lot like that - the boys present was the trip to their mothers - and we said we weren't getting each other anything because money was so tight then. It was so depressing seeing a christmas tree with no presents under it. And that is what I fear again.

Diane found some good bargains Friday, and got a few things. I'll have to actually go and get a few myself, and try not to feel guilty about spending the money.

I don't even like leaving the house any more - I feel like I'm wasting money just on gas going anywhere that isn't trying to get a job.

Everyone that I have talked to that used to be at Reynolds says it is so much better not being there. My old boss was canned in August, and got a job at the beginning of November after 9 weeks. He seemed to be doing much better than I feel during that time however - even saying he almost regretted ending his 'retirement' to have to go back to work. For me however I am even more stressed than I was at Reynolds (and I thought that would be difficult to do). I keep telling myself it will be better, and I do believe that is true - but only once I get another job that I like. Until then it is hard, and not getting easier. And hearing that this is the worst time of year to be looking, along with the crappy economy, doesn't make me feel any better.

Do you believe pt 2

2008-11-25T06:51:00.001-05:00

It was a good show. Yes, she sure seemed to come up with a lot of stuff that you wouldn't know about these people, at least from the way they were acting.

However, I did notice that twice she told different people to look for pennies and that the year would be significant - almost repeating herself word for word. That was a flag for me at the end.

We managed to get in line early for an autograph, which was good with Dianekas back and all. When she signed her book, she wrote "Healing Hugs" - and I can't help but wonder if that was just for Diane (which is extremely appropriate) or if she writes that for a lot of people. It is easy, after all, to add your own meaning in to these things.

So, do I believe? Seeing her did not change anything for me - so I'll leave it at that.

Do you believe?

2008-11-24T21:09:00.001-05:00

I got Diane tickets to see Lisa Williams tonight. It wasn't for anything special, but with everything going on she made me promise that they were her Christmas present.

So it is intermission, and if nothing else Lisa is pretty entertaining. Diane and Katie both asked me if I believe now.

Oops - she is back on - finish later.

From the crackberry

2008-11-22T11:52:00.001-05:00

Trying to keep up with the modern world, I have finally gotten a Blackberry. I actually really like it - I keep finding new and better ways to use it - and one of these is the ability to update this from it. Pretty cool if you ask me - and being able to now update this from almost anywhere should mean that I'll do it more often (I actually do have ideas to write about - just never when I'm sitting at the computer. Or at least you can hope :-)

Not much to say

2008-11-17T16:08:00.003-05:00

Yep, pretty boring. Still working at trying to get a job, and even that is slowing down lately. This time of year, and with the economy in the dumper, there just isn't a lot out there. I spend most every morning responding to leads, get a few interviews (with recruiters usually) for the week, and just keep going. The unemployment has started to kick in, so that eases the tension by a tiny bit, though there doesn't look like much to be thankful for next week, and Christmas isn't looking very merry.

I did have one funny thought today. I was filling in an on-line application for a real employer (who wants and interview, so I'm waiting to see when), and they wanted a list of all employers for the past 20 years! Wow! I know them, but I haven't kept the addresses or managers or any of that. I was at Reynolds for 17 years after all.

What was funny though, was as I went through them, I realized that ALL of the place that I used to work at before Reynolds have gone out of business. This is only 4 companies, but still. None of them are still there.

It gives me an evil little thought and bit of comfort to think that the same will befall the fifth place I've worked - without me they will be no more. MWAA-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA!

Vote Early and Vote Often!!!

2008-11-04T08:15:00.002-05:00

Well maybe just the once per election.

Yep, today is huge around here. If for no other reason than we can FINALLY be done with all the fricking political ads - ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!! I am so sick of them. And the phone calls. Ugh!!!!

Here, we have several big issues:
Payday lenders - they are trying to push a law that basically eliminates this industry (cutting the annual interest rate so low that they can't afford the business). I'm against government intervention where it doesn't belong - and this is a huge case where it doesn't belong. The first job of government is to protect the citizens FROM THE GOVERNMENT. The second job is to protect cititzens from each other. It is not the job to protect people from themselves - EVER. People should have the choice to use these if they need to. Period. No on 4.

Casino - hot button for a lot of people because 'gambling is bad'. What gets me most about this one is that nearly everybody spending money on both sides of the issue is from outside of Ohio - the casinos in Indiana don't want it taking their business, and the owner of the proposed casino is not from Ohio. Me, I see jobs, property and income taxes coming into the state, even if there aren't any additional extra 'casino' taxes - which I don't see going away like people are afraid of because of a single worse case scenario. So Yes on 5.

Our mayor is being recalled - and I fully support that. He engineered the recall of the previous mayor and several of the city council - and is just don't like him at all. I think he deserves to be thrown out of office - and in fact I'd then love to have the old mayor run again and get back in office. Then maybe we will stop looking like a bunch of idiots to the rest of the state. So recall Johnson (which takes a 'NO' vote).

For president - well both scare me. I don't actively support either one. I don't trust Obama, and I fear that McCain is just more of the same that has done so poorly the last 8 years. I do wish for an actual candidate I could support (I liked Guilliani myself!).

However the key thing is that if you don't vote, then you have not right to complain about ANYTHING! So vote to keep your right to bitch! And as bad as either candidate seems, we get to do it all over again in only four more years!

So starts the second full week

2008-11-03T13:29:00.003-05:00

Two interviews last week, two more already set for this week. It has been so long, I don't remember trying to find a job being such a full time job as it has been.

At least I seem to be over the shock finally - i.e. I actualy feel like eating again, which isn't necessarily a good thing, since I don't have a place to work out any more.

Applications, resumes' and recruiters - oh my

2008-10-24T11:58:00.002-05:00

And so it begins.

Sending out applications and resumes'. I already had a recruiter call me about a job in Columbus - an hour and a half drive to Dublin but the job actually sounds pretty good, and as it is a contracting position it wouldn't last forever.

I wish I could make my stomach settle down though. I feel like I'm about to puke constantly. For probably the first time ever (aside from when I'm sick, which is rare) I am not hungry. I had to force myself to eat something earlier, because I was feeling lightheaded. (But I guess beer and peanuts for dinner the night before will do that to you the next morning).

I know I will get through this, and things will be so much better on the other side. It feels so much like my divorce when I think about it. And I repeated the same stupid pattern of trying to make a bad situation work, instead of getting out when I should have. Yes, it is a pattern in my life.

I feel, I guess panicked is the best word. Overwhelmed. Like I don't knwo what to do, where to turn, anything. I'm so far out of my comfort zone that I wonder if it exists at all any more.

I did get my unemployment application in, and several job applications in. I will do some more this afternoon, though I'm already finding that I want to be careful and not send out duplicates because I see the same job on multiple sites.

And I wonder - could I get a security clearance? What are the 'real' requirements (I doubt they are public you know). How badly would my divorce affect it (or my gay ex-father-in-law with the columbian life-partner who lives in Hong Kong?) (Speaking of which, I got yet another call from someone looking for my ex the other day - and she had listed me on something - ignoring the fact that we have been divorced for what - 9 and a half years now?

Ok, enough procrastination - time to get back at it.

And it is done

2008-10-23T16:13:00.003-05:00

Today was the last day of work for me, and not voluntarily.

It all boils down to the politics, and probably that I made too much.

I'm more in shock than anything else.

What grates me the most is the misguided sense of loyalty I have felt toward that place. Including the time as a contractor I was there 19 years.

The biggest mistake was feeling that I could make it work, and not getting out on my own terms. (Yeah, I'm a dumbass that way - I did the same thing in my first marriage).

Eventually, once I get to the other side of all of this, it will be a lot better. Getting to the other side however, is not something I'm looking forward to.

Why isn't "good" good enough anymore?

2008-10-22T22:10:00.002-05:00

I see this in the stock market still, but in a lot of smaller businesses as well. What ever happened to being able to produce a good product that is successful and accept that success? Why is there a constant need not for good results, but for great results? You can't report earnings - no, you have to report RECORD earnings continually, over and over again.

What has happened to common sense? Why can't people realize that the model of CONSTANT growth at high rates is not sustanable? If you have a living organism, and there is constant record growth - it is called CANCER, and if it keeps up it overwhelms and kills the organism.

In the past month, the DOW has taken a dump - but with my untrained eye I can't help but wonder if it isn't really a correction. Like the housing and tech markets - how overinflated was and is everything. (Speaking of which, how come oil prices have dropped by 50% in the past month, but gas prices have only gone down 25%? Oh yeah - to keep the huge profits and CANCEROUS growth going on in the oil companies.) How long does anyone think this could have gone on bfore reality set in?

I don't believe you can keep focussing on short term gains at the expense of long term investment. Reasonable profits yes. Controlled growth - of course. Reckless abandon - doesn't last.

I don't want to go through another depression, or even the current recession, but I do feel that something fundamental has to change. The unmitigated greed of the past 20 years has got to end, and sanity and rational thought have to return.

Of course the people who did get rich just walked away, leaving the taxpayers to deal with it - and the rich aren't the taxpayers - it is the dumb shmoes who work for a living and have bought reasonably priced houses to LIVE IN and have been paying their mortgages that have to pay for it. When do I get some relief?

The good old days

2008-10-15T21:53:00.002-05:00

Why is it that we tend to enhance or glamorize our memories? Things in the past always seem so much better – but is it because they truly were back then and we have changed so that it doesn’t seem so good, or do we only have hindsight via rose colored glasses?

Last week I officially got older, or at least had to admit it, including the new drivers license and car registration. One present I got was an iTunes gift card from my oldest son. I used the card to buy an album (the original Chess soundtrack) that I loved back in college – and listening to it this morning – it is ok, but not nearly as good as I remember (and in fact there were only two songs I directly remembered before listening to them again). And It makes me think of the movie ‘Student Bodies’ back in the early 80’s – I remembered all these funny things about it, and when I finally managed to find it on tv – it really sucked EXCEPT for the few scenes that I remembered – the entire rest of the movie was really, really bad. (No comments about me and liking bad movies – that is something else entirely). Of course now it is out on DVD - I'll have to look for it in the $5.00 rack because the stuff at the beginning is funny, if the last hour isn't.

But back to the point - why do we only seem to remember the good things and not the bad. Or more to the point, why do we (or at least why do I) want to try to recapture these good memories, only to be disappointed time and again because what I remember has no bearing on the whole?

Another year older and deeper in debt

2008-10-09T05:47:00.001-05:00

Yep, time once again to host the annual celebration of the fact that I haven't died yet.

Happy old fart day to me!

My big movie debut

2008-10-04T16:55:00.002-05:00

kind of. At work each year we have Carefest - which is basically our United Way donation drive (we actually have our own private charitable foundation that is funded by our donations, which does the donation to United Way as well as many other smaller ones itself). Last year to promote it they did posters of famous album covers, with employees put in as the musicians. This year it is dvd covers.

Yes, that is me as the Human Torch!

Powerless

2008-09-18T13:10:00.002-05:00

but only for about 44 hours. Yep, we got his by the remnants of Ike, that apparently pulled down some high velocity winds from the upper atmosphere - so we effectively had a hurricane hit Ohio on Sunday. Wind gusts up to 80 mph - and over 100,000 still without power.

Snow is not unusual. Tornados we expect. But not hurricanes!!!

Luckily we have no damage - a few shingles from the neighbor's garage, a couple of bricks out of our chimney and one fairly small branch in the back yard. Oh, and no power from 2:30 Sunday afternoon until 10:30 on Tuesday morning.

If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off

2008-09-08T07:32:00.001-05:00

Yep, my new favorite quote!

Check out this speech from a Canadian school headmaster. He hits on so many good points.

Remember, we are all born naked, wet and hungry. And then things get worse.

Nice way to start a week.

A rare win

2008-09-03T20:14:00.003-05:00

I'd almost given up all hope completely, when I was taken by surprise last week, and actually had the gorillas at work make the decision to do the right thing for once.

The owner is very cost conscious - and since it is his company he has that right. A lot of time it goes to extremes, and many others I feel that he is penny wise and pound foolish. In this case he thinks that the integration with one of our partners is costing too much. We are charged on a per transactions basis - and I don't know how we charge back to our dealers. Each transaction can have a different charge based on the type - so he wants to know how many of which type are going through our integration hub.

Not a big deal - except these transactions all contain personally identifiable and sensitive data - so much be encrypted at all times, and we are not allowed to store the data at all.

For other transactions, we store the data so we can mine this to get the transaction, because there is nothing sensitive stored there. But these we don't. It would be possible to turn on debugging and get the information, but it would be in violation of the contract, and possibly against the law as well.

I stuck to my guns, saying that I could not turn that on. The only way we could obtain this would be a program modification to pull this out as it passed through, and save the non-sensitive data that the boss wanted.

Well, one morning last week I had a couple of managers in my cube, asking for the data. I held firm, but really felt the pressure. It felt like there was an unspoken threat going on to do it, or lose my job.

Well, the next day the VP made the call - to make the program mod so that we don't reveal any of the sensitive data. It took me a day and we ran it for a couple of hours today to check to see if that is what they need, but I feel a bit vindicated. It isn't often that the company makes a decision to do what is right, instead of what is quick or easy.

Just a little victory, but a victory all the same. You have to enjoy the few you get.